Should men be chivalrous?

[The Last Conformist]

Besides, despite the steryeotype, most girls are flattered if you open doors and pull out chairs for them.

Reminds me. When I was in Greece and visiting an upper-crusty restaurant in Athens, the (male) waiter pulled out in my chair, but didn't do the same for either of the two ladies I was with. We all found it pretty weird.

 

[Yom]

Reminds me. When I was in Greece and visiting an upper-crusty restaurant in Athens, the (male) waiter pulled out in my chair, but didn't do the same for either of the two ladies I was with. We all found it pretty weird.

Was he giving you the look?

@Anarres: Great post (the first one you made). I concur wholeheartedly.

 

[Mise]

Was he giving you the look.

Well he did say it was in Greece...

 

[Yom]

Well he did say it was in Greece...

I was thinking the same thing!

 

[The Last Conformist]

Was he giving you the look?

Hard to know - I wasn't looking at him.

 

[King Alexander]

Reminds me. When I was in Greece and visiting an upper-crusty restaurant in Athens, the (male) waiter pulled out in my chair, but didn't do the same for either of the two ladies I was with. We all found it pretty weird.

Yes, it is weird: he should have done the same for the ladies too(if not, pull the ladies' chairs first).

Well he did say it was in Greece...

The majority of the population says something similar for the U.K as an (bad)example(like, when one foreigner says: "sounds like Greek to me" -- you get the picture).

Anyway, I don't want to comment on both cases: modern society is different, and I, sometimes, find the majority of my people very discriminating on this issue, despite our sexual "freedom"(sex isn't so much a taboo like in other countries, neither the "agressive" dressing you see often here).

--- When I talk with some of them, and I remind them that they also do "dirty" things in THEIR bedrooms(according to Christianity, only 1 sexual way is acceptable: all other "combinations" aren't ), most of them say, ok, it's all the people's right what to do in their bedroom(regardless of sexual preferences).
Sometimes, one needs to use examples to help his people understand that they're wrong in some cases.

 

[feline_dacat]

I personally like gentlemen! Its nice that they offer, even if I gratefully decline. It never fails to make me go "Awww!"
When I was younger, i was definately against chivalrous acts - it made me defiant and cross that I was treated as inferior.... but now? I've been treated so badly by some people that I think its time for me to actually appreciate when people do nice things, lest I become really bitter to the world and miss something good.

 

[Shadylookin]

is chivalry sexist? I'm not entirely sure. while the quick answer is yes if you analize it further perhaps not. There's no real reason for me to go out of my way to please a male because I have no interest in him on the other hand going out of my way for a woman increases my odds of being with her which is what I want. So is it sexism or trying to work in your better interests

 

[Ramius75]

i open door for women when i find it convienient, (e.g. when they are just behind me) else i only do it for those needy like with baby carriage or something, i dont open doors for men thou, atleast not on purpose.

beside this, i think its equally important to treat both male and female with courteousy as much as possible. (unless im playing FPS).
i used to give treats to ladies but then i got a female friend who insisted to give treat back, as she explained this will keep the relationship going and both will benefits. give and take.

I think as more females think they are the equal of men or better, the less they expect us to give in to them. But of coz there are times when a man got to do what a man got to do. like fighting other ppl. step aside lady.

 

[GenMarshall]

Personaly, I dont see it as a sexist act. I see it as being curtious towards women. I dont know why women would see this as a sexist thing when you are doing something courtious to them. I guess feminist would have to warm up to the idea that not all men are sexist pigs.

 

[Colonel]

Yes is the simplistic answer, I generally go out of my way to make sure a door is held open for women or that I let them walk through a door first and such of that sort, just what I picked up as I grew up and turned into habit

 

[Neonanocyborgasm]

It is sexist, after all - but is positive sexism to be allowed?

If by chivalry you mean to pledge fealty to a lord...?

 

[Aramazd]

I open doors for girls, but not guys. Mainly because I hate most guys I know, except for the guys on the crosscountry team and a few others. Of course I never had to open any doors for them since I never see them around doors.

 

[Global Nexus]

I hold doors open for both males and females, but tend to do so more for the latter rather than the former. I don't imply through such that they're "weak"...or "inferior"...but rather that I respect them enough to do something nice for them without even having the knowledge of their name.

Though personally, it'd be interesting to see how a girl would call me a chauvenist. I'm probably girlier [and weaker] than most of the girly-girls at my high school! o.o

 

[Narz]

Chivalry is for the pretentious.

I throw away the "rules" of etiquette at will but am happy to be kind, generous and helpful. I expect the same from my lady.

 

[FearlessLeader2]

I honestly could care less what other women think of my chivalrous manners. My dad taught them to me, my mother didn't tell me different, and those are the only two people whose advice on my behavior I shall ever entertain.

Women of the world...don't like my chivalry? Deal with it, it's here to stay.

 

[downtown]

this is weird. I try to act this way, and I always get complemented for it. The fact that a guy still opens doors, usually pays the bill, gives up his seat and whatnot amazes my girlfriend, and other girls seem to like it to. Its not hard, and its really helped me with women. I think all guys ought to do it

 

[The Last Conformist]

this is weird. I try to act this way, and I always get complemented for it. The fact that a guy still opens doors, usually pays the bill, gives up his seat and whatnot amazes my girlfriend, and other girls seem to like it to. Its not hard, and its really helped me with women. I think all guys ought to do it

As a guy on 'Poly said when this was discussed there:

I do it because it gets me sex.

 

[Gladi]

Bright day
Yes they should.

I never have woman refusing a seat I offered (oh wait, there was this grandmother who apologized that she will be getting off right next stop). But hey I am just ignorant eastern barbarian so ignore . (BTW my personal pet peeve is when man offers his hand to woman first )

 

[King Alexander]

Something to add:
I also open doors for women with babies, as they need help, sometimes(although, they don't always ask for help). It's difficult if you hold a baby and hold bags, etc..., so I help when I see such things.

I also offer my seat to people who're in poor condition(by my judgement), if are any of them nearby: elders(males, females), pregnants, people with broken legs, etc...