(PTW1.21 Open)
In Outer Space Will I Still Hear That Incessant Bleating ... ?
It was the bleating that did it. The incessant bleating. Sheep. Goats. Lambs. And those damned irritating Menudo gambolling about. And the bleating. The constantly bleating. Enough to grind the hardest Peanut down to an oily paste.
True to his word (see
A very lucky Peanut), Emperor Alexander Peanuttus I was going to escape ! He had to get away from that bleating ! Over the long centuries to follow, he single-mindedly drove his loyal Grecian Peanuts to study and learn and labour, and finally the glorious Greek space ship was launched in 1680AD. Alexander, sitting in the pilot's seat and grinning maniacally, had finally escaped !
As he hurtled past on his way to the stars, the Gods on Mt. Firaxis declared Emperor Alexander Peanuttus I to be "Magnificent" for this heroic effort, and awarded him 3687 points. St. Jason immediately upgraded this to 5044 points.
The Path to the Stars
In his heroic campaign against the Germans, Alexander's fine generals and her brave Peanut swordsmen captured Berlin, securing the Pyramids for Greece. Those same skilled swordsmen also captured Leipzig and the Colossus. A great leader arose, built an army with three veteran swordsmen units, and won further great victories. The gods signalled that the war should end when the army was defeated in combat by a lone German spearman.
Peace was the hallmark of the next twenty centuries of the Grecian Peanut Empire. Exploration and trade allowed Greece to meet all the civilizations of the world, except for the hapless Romans who had been destroyed in the distant past. Greece's trade in new technology gave her access to luxuries and resources that she lacked, and most importantly gave her countless thousands of baskets of gold coins. Alexander's Treasury was easily the largest building in Athens, dwarfing even his majestic palace. Scrooge McDuck - eat your heart out ! Foreign gold paid for Greece's armies, paid for many of her fine buildings, and allowed her to pour all her resources into science and technology.
The centuries rolled on ... the cash rolled in ... Greece powered ahead. None of Greece's rivals could out-research her ! Peace reigned across the world for many, many years. Nobody wanted to fight ! A
Melee ? Not in Peanut's world !
Greece build many fine wonders of the world - Copernicus's Observatory, Newton's university, Shakespeare's Theatre, Smith's Trading Company, Theory of Evolution, Hoover Dam, the United Nations, SETI, and The Internet. Greece was the envy of the world. Her armies were always up to date, and more than strong enough to defend her borders.
And so, Greece laboured through the technology needed to reach the heavens. As she acquired new knowledge, she traded it for as much gold as she could gouge from her neighbours. Occasionally a neighbour would learn something new - then Greece would trade for it, then sell it on for whatever was offered or to just give it away.
A Disturbing Dream
Emperor Alexander ordered the building of the United Nations in order to prevent any other nation from wresting mastery of the world from him. Knowing that being elected Leader of the UN would condemn him to an eternity serenaded by bleating, he chose not to press a vote. However in 1575AD, on the very night that he finished the UN, Alexander dreamed that a UN vote really did take place. The results were overwhelming - 11 votes for Alexander, 3 for Shaka (the largest nation), and 1 abstention (the fickle Isabella). In his dream the Gods applauded wildly and awarded him 3941 points which St. Jason generously upgraded to 5621 points. Alexander was disturbed by this - was he doing the right thing pressing for Space ? Would he get a lower score ? Then a sheep bleated loudly right outside the palace windows - and his mind was made up. It was Alpha Centauri - or Nothing ! Hang the scoring !
Useless Neighbours
As the space ship drew closed to reality, Alexander hoped that some of his neighbours would research some of the technology he needed and save him some effort. Alas, his hopes were in vain. Instead of researching Nuclear Power, which he left alone for a while, they researched foolish knowledge like Recycling and Genetics. Utterly useless for a spaceship ! In the end, Alexander researched himself almost every technology he needed in order to escape.
Incompetent Spies and An Imbecile General
In order to check how his rival's space programs were proceeding, Alexander sent spies into the capitals of his neighbours. All of these succeeded except for the bungling of the Persian Affairs department. Spy after spy of theirs was caught over the years, eventually causing Xerxes to declare war around 1600AD. Lavishing cash and technology on the other world leaders enticed every other nation to join a Greek-led alliance against Persia.
For his amusement, Alexander dispatched a few escorted transports of Modern armour to Persia to see whart sort of trouble they could cause. Amusement - because Alexander knew that within a few turns of them arriving in Persia, the spaceship would be ready to launch.
Then in an "amusing" incident an incompetent general with defective colour discrimination between shades of blue landed a transport of armour on a Spanish island - mistaking it for Persian territory. Isabelle immediately objected and demanded the expulsion of these forces. The ships were escorted to international waters, but the armour was sent to the nearest neutral territory - on the EDGE OF THE WORLD !
"Not my problem now" laughed Alexander, waving to the hapless general trapped in the southern mountains as he headed for space.
Edit - oops correction to the alternative UN figures