The Boy-Girl game

[Gangor]

So I was sitting in the departure lounge at Luton the other day, across from 2 girls who were about my age. I was reading, but at one point I looked up and noticed that one of them was looking at me. Noticing that I looked up, she looked away and pretended that she hadn't been looking at me at all. As I'd been distracted from my reading, I decided to look around. My eyes settled for some reason on the girl next to her. She glanced at me, and instinctively I dropped my eyes. I started reading again, and again glanced up to see one of them looking at me. Again, eye contact was avoided at all costs. This routine continued for the best part of the half hour I was sitting there.

Now, I don't for an instant imagine that either of them was looking at me for any other reason that I was in front of them (certainly, the reverse was true), but then why is it such a big deal if we momentarily make eye-contact with a member of the opposite sex? A moment of fellowship in the vast faceless world of an airport would have been nice. We might have even had a conversation to pass the time. What made them (and me!?) avoid it? What were we afraid of? I'm pretty sure (from previous observations) that just about everyone does this, so why do you? Have you thought about it before?

 

[Fifty]

...must...resist...misogynistic...joke...


phew


Ok seriously, probably just a general human trait. It seems to be the same with men too. At least, I don't make a habit of long stare downs with random strange men or women. Probably just a natural tendancy because back in our ape days eye contact is a sign of aggression or something?

 

[aneeshm]

You NEVER break eye contact, specially when you initiate it. Always wait for the girl to look away. That way, you make a very powerful first impression.

 

[Gangor]

You NEVER break eye contact, specially when you initiate it. Always wait for the girl to look away. That way, you make a very powerful first impression.

Well that depends if you want to make an impression...

 

[Verbose]

Don't just break eye-contact. Smile, watch for her reaction. If she just looks away, never mind. If she smiles back, decide if you will be going over to say hi.

 

[Kal'thzar]

This is fun

Its even better when in a foreign country, probably because its the only way to communicate....

 

[Swedishguy]

I avoid eyecontact at all costs. Seeing somebody in the eyes makes me feel stupid.

 

[Kozmos]

Ze eyes are the window to the soul. One good gaze and I can tell if they like melted cheese.

 

[aneeshm]

I avoid eyecontact at all costs. Seeing somebody in the eyes makes me feel stupid.

Hah!

Weakling.

 

[Catharsis]

The general rule in Britain is this: if you make eye-contact with a stranger, you are obviously a pervert. (It's how David Blunkett got so far in politics; they'd never suspect the blind man...)

 

[Neonanocyborgasm]

Now, I don't for an instant imagine that either of them was looking at me for any other reason that I was in front of them (certainly, the reverse was true), but then why is it such a big deal if we momentarily make eye-contact with a member of the opposite sex? A moment of fellowship in the vast faceless world of an airport would have been nice. We might have even had a conversation to pass the time. What made them (and me!?) avoid it? What were we afraid of? I'm pretty sure (from previous observations) that just about everyone does this, so why do you? Have you thought about it before?

There's no such thing as coincidence. If the chick was even slightly embarassed, it means she was up to something. You should've taken the cue.

 

[Tee Kay]

I don't make eye contact. When I do, I looked stupid and I felt stupid.

 

[Phlegmak]

Ze eyes are the window to the soul. One good gaze and I can tell if they like melted cheese.

Just curious: What is your particular favorite melted cheese? Melted american cheese goes great on hamburgers; mozzarella on pizza, and so on.

 

[silver 2039]

I don't like eye contact. Its too disturbing.

 

[BirraImperial]

They were definetly checking you out. You should have taken the cue. But I would have probably blown it like usual.

 

[GoodEnoughForMe]

I don't like eye contact unless I need to do it to make a good first impression, like at an interview or with some kind of professional, but then I know who I am meeting usually. If it's some random girl in an airport, who I don't have to be talking with or giving a good first impression to, then I won't make eye contact, because usually they'll come over and I'll have to pretend to listen to their chat.

 

[warpus]

but then why is it such a big deal if we momentarily make eye-contact with a member of the opposite sex?

Because it's intimate and a part of the "game".

If a girl makes eye contact with you, don't look away. You have to be confident. Look back into her eyes as if it's the most natural thing in the world, then slowly and naturally look at something else as if she doesn't even exist.

This happens all the time when you're just lounging around, on the bus, etc. You will be walking and you will pass girls - sometimes eye contact will be made. You can't stare but you also can't just abruptly look away as if you did something wrong - you didn't. If eye contact is made with a girl you don't know - maintain eye contact until she looks away. She always will, unless you do so first, out of fear

 

[Brighteye]

It's not fear. It's just that eye contact signals various things. It can be aggression, but it depends on the context. It usually does signal a desire or interest in social contact. If you hold eye contact it means you've made social contact with the person.
That is not something you want in a crowded area with thousands of people. We want to maintain an air of privacy, and in such a crowded place (as on a bus or in an aiport) it's peculiarly rude to intrude on someone else's privacy, precisely because it's so delicate in these situations.

 

[Kozmos]

Just curious: What is your particular favorite melted cheese? Melted american cheese goes great on hamburgers; mozzarella on pizza, and so on.

Gouda or Dimsa both taste great. Ham and melted cheese in a toast = food of the gods.

 

[Masquerouge]

On that note, it is very impressive when you take the subway during rush hours, how everybody in a wagon manages to avoid eye contact with everybody else...