Stuck_as_a_Mac
Aptenodytes forsteri
Oxford Bulletin 1270 AD
Paging A Mr. Shylock: Part II
Oxford is now home to one of the nations handful of banks. This bank is free of charge thanks to the brilliant work of a Mr. Smith and his Trading Company (headquartered in Oxfords Sister/Rival city, donsignia). Interest rates at the bank have yet to be fixed, though some are considering the proposal of First National Bank of Oxford Chair (FNBOC) Shylock, which is a pound of flesh. Where Mr. Shylock plans to extort this pound from is unknown, though many believe his daughter may be able to nab him on a technicality, which forbids the spilling of customers blood. If so, Mr. Shylock may end up simply charging a flat monthly rate of 1.6% per $1,000. When asked to comment on his inability charge his requested fee, Mr. Shylock responded with The villainy you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. He then stormed off, claiming to be not well.
Great Big Stuff
As Fanatannia finds itself at war with all we once considered friends, Oxford finds itself bigger and better than ever. Citing that it really does deserve it, Oxford is now overall the third city in the nation. She is third in shield production (soon to be momentarily first with the addition of a factory, see Help! Help! Im Being Repressed!), third in produced income, third in owed maintenance, first in overall happiness, fourth in science produced and fourth in treasury additions. She is one of two size 12 cities and is one of the most peaceful cities in the empire. This places Oxford as Fanatannias third city. She is also the only city with a newspaper. That, of course, is the Bulletin. We salute you, fair city.
Help! Help! Im Being Repressed!
In an effort to keep Oxford up with the times, a group of rich urbanites has decided to build what is being called a factory. This is being described as a magical place, where people are repressed, unions are built and destroyed, money is made and socialism abounds! Those living on the Upper East Side of the city look forwards to the opening of the building as an opportunity to make more money. Those living on the Lower East Side look forwards to the opening of the building as a chance to make money. Everyone on the West Side doesnt count because Im a New Yorker, aight? East Siiiideeee, homies! (With this outburst, the mayor proceeded to do various elaborate hand gestures in an attempt to communicate with unknown people. As of this moment, the Mayor is being treated for delirium.)
Pie Jesu Domine But I Thought We Were Jewish Err REQUIEM
To keep up with the culture race, Oxford recently built a Cathedral. This is odd, as the city has been steadfastly a Jewish city since its incorporation in 1175 BC. Local residents cant complain, though, as despite our ethnicity we loves us a good Requiem. The cathedral, not used for any religious purposes, is equip with a giant pipe organ that covers the entire back wall, as it isnt being used for any other purposes. An additional wing was built on to the library to allow for the expansion of the Oxfordian Music Collection, which will soon rival that of the Byzantines and their Johan Sebastian Bachs Cathedral. (Trust us on this one weve paid off some troops to bring back any sheet music they can find.) Performances will be given weekly by the Whiffenpoofs and their non-a capella sister group, the New York City Metropolitan Opera Company. All music is to be played by the New York Philharmonic, under the direction of Leonard Bernstein. Now, if youll excuse me, I have to go calibrate the lead pipes for A440. I swear, Ill shoot someone if they keep tuning to A442. There IS a difference.
Distraught?
SAT scores are due out on Monday. Watch out for any mood swings from the mayor based on this. If the score is over 2100, youll know. If its under that uhm Id suggest ducking.
Paging A Mr. Shylock: Part II
Oxford is now home to one of the nations handful of banks. This bank is free of charge thanks to the brilliant work of a Mr. Smith and his Trading Company (headquartered in Oxfords Sister/Rival city, donsignia). Interest rates at the bank have yet to be fixed, though some are considering the proposal of First National Bank of Oxford Chair (FNBOC) Shylock, which is a pound of flesh. Where Mr. Shylock plans to extort this pound from is unknown, though many believe his daughter may be able to nab him on a technicality, which forbids the spilling of customers blood. If so, Mr. Shylock may end up simply charging a flat monthly rate of 1.6% per $1,000. When asked to comment on his inability charge his requested fee, Mr. Shylock responded with The villainy you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. He then stormed off, claiming to be not well.
Great Big Stuff
As Fanatannia finds itself at war with all we once considered friends, Oxford finds itself bigger and better than ever. Citing that it really does deserve it, Oxford is now overall the third city in the nation. She is third in shield production (soon to be momentarily first with the addition of a factory, see Help! Help! Im Being Repressed!), third in produced income, third in owed maintenance, first in overall happiness, fourth in science produced and fourth in treasury additions. She is one of two size 12 cities and is one of the most peaceful cities in the empire. This places Oxford as Fanatannias third city. She is also the only city with a newspaper. That, of course, is the Bulletin. We salute you, fair city.
Help! Help! Im Being Repressed!
In an effort to keep Oxford up with the times, a group of rich urbanites has decided to build what is being called a factory. This is being described as a magical place, where people are repressed, unions are built and destroyed, money is made and socialism abounds! Those living on the Upper East Side of the city look forwards to the opening of the building as an opportunity to make more money. Those living on the Lower East Side look forwards to the opening of the building as a chance to make money. Everyone on the West Side doesnt count because Im a New Yorker, aight? East Siiiideeee, homies! (With this outburst, the mayor proceeded to do various elaborate hand gestures in an attempt to communicate with unknown people. As of this moment, the Mayor is being treated for delirium.)
Pie Jesu Domine But I Thought We Were Jewish Err REQUIEM
To keep up with the culture race, Oxford recently built a Cathedral. This is odd, as the city has been steadfastly a Jewish city since its incorporation in 1175 BC. Local residents cant complain, though, as despite our ethnicity we loves us a good Requiem. The cathedral, not used for any religious purposes, is equip with a giant pipe organ that covers the entire back wall, as it isnt being used for any other purposes. An additional wing was built on to the library to allow for the expansion of the Oxfordian Music Collection, which will soon rival that of the Byzantines and their Johan Sebastian Bachs Cathedral. (Trust us on this one weve paid off some troops to bring back any sheet music they can find.) Performances will be given weekly by the Whiffenpoofs and their non-a capella sister group, the New York City Metropolitan Opera Company. All music is to be played by the New York Philharmonic, under the direction of Leonard Bernstein. Now, if youll excuse me, I have to go calibrate the lead pipes for A440. I swear, Ill shoot someone if they keep tuning to A442. There IS a difference.
Distraught?
SAT scores are due out on Monday. Watch out for any mood swings from the mayor based on this. If the score is over 2100, youll know. If its under that uhm Id suggest ducking.
