The etiquette of breaking wind

[NovaKart]

The problem is it's very easy to misjudge the fart you thought was going to be silent. A shanghai shroud sounds a lot crueler than a dutch oven which is more of a harmless practical joke. It sounds more difficult to get the timing right too.

 

[Abaddon]

Tell us more!

 

[CaptainF]

The problem is it's very easy to misjudge the fart you thought was going to be silent.

A true ninja never falters in his flatulence.

 

[illram]

Amongst my more juvenile friends he who farts the loudest wins. In public with a lot of people, silent but deadly depending on necessity. Barring an emergency, such as a coffee fart, the possibility of good air filtration or draft eliminating the odor quickly enters into my calculus. On airplanes, for instance, air is moved around very effectively and even the deadliest, foulest silent emission is quickly spirited away into the aether.

 

[PeteAtoms]

Pretty much this:


Link to video.

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

I'm a big fan of the "walk into the office of colleague who is on the phone and let rip , leave office shutting door behind you " fart.

My favorite victim at work has the perfect setup for this . His phone is out of reaching distance of the door combined with it being a glass wall and door so you get to watch the chaos .

If I'm feeling very evil , this combines well with the " fan odour towards victim with manilla folder technique"

 

[Joecoolyo]

Try not to do it in public; if you must, release a little of the pressure at a time, in order to avoid a loud sound. And try to do it whilst walking around, so the fumes get transfered amongst a large area.

That actually sounds worse

Instead of a small localized event, you're basically carpet bombing the entire place.

 

[dirtyparrot]

In the elevator and blame it on a friend.

 

[Hygro]

y'all ain't herd of a Buffalo Tyson Bomb?

 

[azzaman333]

Silence is golden.

 

[Bill3000]

Fart proudly.

- Benjamin Franklin

 

[Tani Coyote]

God help us if there was plasma waste.

Who would imagine something philosophical can be acquired from a discussion of flatulence(then again, Fart Proudly was mentioned)..

I have deduced that the plasma waste is the soul. During our lives, we are more or less incapable of ejecting it(I deem it spiritual constipation). However, at death, all waste present in the body is expelled due to the failure of restraints that would prevent this. Gas, liquid, and solid alike are released, but the plasma of the soul is also released!

---

Yeah. I thought about this too much. Thank you thread.

 

[onedreamer]

I'm surprised none or almost has made distinctions about farts. There are a handful types of farts, depending on smells, sounds, intensity etc, therefore the answer varies. Certain farts are ok only under certain conditions. To fart in bed can be ok, doesn't necessarily mean to do it under the sheets.

I am sure I don't need to inform anyone that by the time you would get to bathroom from under your sheets you wouldn't fart anything. So I think it is a plainly idiotic and hypocritical etiquette to ask that everyone always farts in a bathroom. And I'm sorry but a fart isn't remotely comparable to excrements, first of all from an igenic point of view, second because it generally doesn't stay there to rot and attract bacterias and insects, doesn't get in the way, and it isn't as smelly, disturbing and disgusting. SOME farts can be exceptionally bad. In that case either apologies or try to limit the inconvenience as much as possible, for example taking distance, not necessarily for the bathroom since a smelly fart is as much disturbing in a bathroom as in a living room, so it would actually be better to fart in an open area than in a bathroom.

What I found hilarious is that someone dared comparing farting to expelling bio stuff. So in their opinion farting on their bed is the same as vomiting or pooing. I mean, this position is really funny...

 

[Ingvina Freyr]

You are saying that farting in enclosed areas doesn't force people present to inhale aerosolized particles of feces?

 

[onedreamer]

Let me think about it...
No, I would say I am not saying that.
(I had to write a longer answer than no).

 

[timtofly]

You are saying that farting in enclosed areas doesn't force people present to inhale aerosolized particles of feces?

That would either be borderline radiation (Tani) or you are in the buff with no filters. If you were trying to associate it with germs they would have to be mighty fine.

 

[Ingvina Freyr]

It was a tounge-in-cheek comment ment to stir some thoughts with the easily disgusted... yeah sure, naked under the sheets with your best girl, letting a wet one .

 

[dannyshenanigan]

Maybe everyone should just wear fart pants all the time.

 

[timtofly]

It was a tounge-in-cheek comment ment to stir some thoughts with the easily disgusted... yeah sure, naked under the sheets with your best girl, letting a wet one .

And they say romanticism is dead.