Dumanios
Hakugyukurou Gardener
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2008
- Messages
- 4,927
Dude, it's a frickin joke, don't be a stop having fun guy.
The HEhe HAha Joke Thread 2.0
- Thread starter CCRunner
- Start date
Dude, it's a frickin joke, don't be a stop having fun guy.
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
Earlier today I was visiting with friends. Our conversation strayed onto anecdotal war stories. One person recounted a story from a Canadian soldier based in Germany in the 80s. It went something like this:
A Canadian squad is out manoeuvring when their field radio breaks, and so one soldier is ordered to return to headquarters and get a replacement. They have no transport, so he has to make the journey on foot. As he is walking along the road, he hears heavy engine sounds and can feel the ground shaking, so he runs and hides by a single tree a little way off in the field.
Along comes an American armoured column of M-60 tanks on an exercise refereed by a Bundeswehr major in an IFV. They stop on the road and the crew leaders debark, gathering around the tree the Canadian is hiding behind. Apparently, they had become lost and are arguing about where exactly they are now.
The Canadian realizes this is an opportunity he can't afford to pass up. His weapon is loaded with blanks, and he leaps out from behind the tree, firing randomly until his clip runs empty. He then sprints between the tanks and down the road. The American unit, so surprised by the entire episode, does not react.
The Bundeswehr major laughs so hard he allegedly falls out of his vehicle. He gestures toward the commanders still standing around the tree, repeating between bouts of laughter, "You kaput! You all dead!" Without damaging any of the vehicles, the Canadian had effectively killed all the commanding officers of the unit.
A Canadian squad is out manoeuvring when their field radio breaks, and so one soldier is ordered to return to headquarters and get a replacement. They have no transport, so he has to make the journey on foot. As he is walking along the road, he hears heavy engine sounds and can feel the ground shaking, so he runs and hides by a single tree a little way off in the field.
Along comes an American armoured column of M-60 tanks on an exercise refereed by a Bundeswehr major in an IFV. They stop on the road and the crew leaders debark, gathering around the tree the Canadian is hiding behind. Apparently, they had become lost and are arguing about where exactly they are now.
The Canadian realizes this is an opportunity he can't afford to pass up. His weapon is loaded with blanks, and he leaps out from behind the tree, firing randomly until his clip runs empty. He then sprints between the tanks and down the road. The American unit, so surprised by the entire episode, does not react.
The Bundeswehr major laughs so hard he allegedly falls out of his vehicle. He gestures toward the commanders still standing around the tree, repeating between bouts of laughter, "You kaput! You all dead!" Without damaging any of the vehicles, the Canadian had effectively killed all the commanding officers of the unit.
KaiserElectric
Total Freakin Besties
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2007
- Messages
- 3,461
Wow. I'm a American, but I'd have to back down on that one.
SS-18 ICBM
Oscillator
Onionsoilder
Reaver
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2007
- Messages
- 3,173
While I agree with you, coconut/banana/pineapple wound have made more sense.
Formaldehyde
Both Fair And Balanced
Blonde Joke:
During a recent technology audit, it was found that my co-worker was using
the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be
at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
During a recent technology audit, it was found that my co-worker was using
the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be
at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
Formaldehyde
Both Fair And Balanced
How can you tell if Pam Iorio isn't wearing any panties?
Dandruff on her shoes.
Dandruff on her shoes.
Kosez
Sitting Wool
Man was at the hospital and wife paid him a visit.
˝You won't believe what just happened to me!˝ she said.
˝I called a taxi˝ she continued, ˝and we were on our way here, when I suddenly realized I forgot my wallet.˝
˝I asked the driver to take me back home, but he said no problem, we could make a deal.˝
˝A deal, what deal?˝cries husband.
˝He gave me two options, either I sing a song or perform a fellatio on him...˝
˝What song did you choose?˝
˝I didn't think it would be proper for me to sing while you are so sick...˝
˝You won't believe what just happened to me!˝ she said.
˝I called a taxi˝ she continued, ˝and we were on our way here, when I suddenly realized I forgot my wallet.˝
˝I asked the driver to take me back home, but he said no problem, we could make a deal.˝
˝A deal, what deal?˝cries husband.
˝He gave me two options, either I sing a song or perform a fellatio on him...˝
˝What song did you choose?˝
˝I didn't think it would be proper for me to sing while you are so sick...˝
Zack
99% hot gas
What does a woman do when she gets back from the abuse clinic?
Did you hear about the tree that fell on a woman?
Spoiler :
Did you hear about the tree that fell on a woman?
Spoiler :
Zack
99% hot gas
Nope. 
I'm not racist, cause racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
I'm not racist, cause racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
LastLegionare
Warlord
Hope this hasn't been said...
Here's the scenario. You are walking in a dark street with your family. All of a sudden, a middle-eastern man in his twenties runs up to you with a knife. You have in your hand a locked-and-loaded handgun.
We've explained this to three people, and these are the answers.
Democrat:Well, we don't KNOW if he's a terrorist! He could be just asking for directions, with a knife for protection. I have a gun, don't I. And why is the street dark? That should be our commuinity's main concern. And why... (ect.)
Republican:BANG!
Red-neck:BANG, BANG, BANG. -click, sound of reloading- BANG!
Here's the scenario. You are walking in a dark street with your family. All of a sudden, a middle-eastern man in his twenties runs up to you with a knife. You have in your hand a locked-and-loaded handgun.
We've explained this to three people, and these are the answers.
Democrat:Well, we don't KNOW if he's a terrorist! He could be just asking for directions, with a knife for protection. I have a gun, don't I. And why is the street dark? That should be our commuinity's main concern. And why... (ect.)
Republican:BANG!
Red-neck:BANG, BANG, BANG. -click, sound of reloading- BANG!
Mango Elephant
Deity
someone might've already put this one and I missed it but
What do you do to annoy Hellen Keller?
a: leave the plunger in the toilet
What do you do to annoy Hellen Keller?
a: leave the plunger in the toilet
Cheezy the Wiz
Socialist In A Hurry
I should think she'd rather like that.
Bucephalus
Shooting from the lip....
What do battered wives all have in common?
Spoiler :
