Perfection
The Great Head.
Three people of different nationalities walk into the bar. Two of them say something smart, and the third one makes a mockery of his fellow countrymen by acting dumb.
#~~ The HEhe HAha Joke Thread ~~#
- Thread starter Abaddon
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Abaddon
Deity
ROFLOL!!!!
perfection, man thats keeping my chuckling!
perfection, man thats keeping my chuckling!
Therealmat
Chieftain
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A Scottishman and A irishman walk into a cave the scotsman says its dark isnt it so the irishman replies i dont know i cant see.
Swiss Bezerker
Emperor
Weasel Op said:It wouldn't have the same effect. You have to label them in some way. Political parties, nationality, religion, hair color....
Not nessecarally. you can just have three random people and its still funny. People seem to think stereotyping groups is funny, since everybody does it, but it really only originates from peoples incerting hated groups into jokes
Perfection
The Great Head.
Actually I found that in Wikipedia of all places...BCLG100 said:o how do you come up with them?
Another wikipedia Gem
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blore's_Razor
"Blore's Razor states that: when given a choice between two theories, take the one that is funnier."
madviking
north american scum
The President, First Lady and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."
Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."
Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy."
Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."
Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy."
Saw this one in a magazine
A hotshot RAF pilot was sitting in his cockpit breaking in his new navigator. He pulled out a .38 revolver, placed it on top of the instrument panel, then asked the navigator. "do you know what i use this for?" the navigator timdily replied "no whats it for?" the pilot responded, "Iuse this on naviugators who get me lost". the navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and placed it on his instrument panel. the pilot asked "whats that for?" the navigator replied with "i'll know we're lost before you will"
A hotshot RAF pilot was sitting in his cockpit breaking in his new navigator. He pulled out a .38 revolver, placed it on top of the instrument panel, then asked the navigator. "do you know what i use this for?" the navigator timdily replied "no whats it for?" the pilot responded, "Iuse this on naviugators who get me lost". the navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and placed it on his instrument panel. the pilot asked "whats that for?" the navigator replied with "i'll know we're lost before you will"
LLXerxes
Space Travel is Boring
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Man walks into a bar with his dog. He puts the dog on a barstool near the bartender.
"Bartender, I bet you $20 that my dog can talk." he says.
"Fine.", the bartender says.
"What sounds do dogs make?" the man asks.
"Woof!" the dog replies.
"Hey, ask him a real question." the bartender replies.
"Fine... fine..." the man says. "What goes over a house?" asks the man.
"Woof!" the dog barks.
"See, he said roof!" shreiks the man.
"If you don't give him a real question, I'm going to throw you out." the bartender says, starting to get angry.
"Ooh, grumpy pants... Who was the best baseball player of all time?" asks the man.
"Woof!", the dog says again.
"He said Babe Ruth!" says the overexcited man.
"That's it! Get out of my bar right now!" the bartender yells...
As the man walks his dog out of the bar, the dog asks
"Should I have said DiMagio?"
"Bartender, I bet you $20 that my dog can talk." he says.
"Fine.", the bartender says.
"What sounds do dogs make?" the man asks.
"Woof!" the dog replies.
"Hey, ask him a real question." the bartender replies.
"Fine... fine..." the man says. "What goes over a house?" asks the man.
"Woof!" the dog barks.
"See, he said roof!" shreiks the man.
"If you don't give him a real question, I'm going to throw you out." the bartender says, starting to get angry.
"Ooh, grumpy pants... Who was the best baseball player of all time?" asks the man.
"Woof!", the dog says again.
"He said Babe Ruth!" says the overexcited man.
"That's it! Get out of my bar right now!" the bartender yells...
As the man walks his dog out of the bar, the dog asks
"Should I have said DiMagio?"
Mirc
Not mIRC!!!
A canibal and his son, walking through the woods. They see a very nice young beautiful girl.
The child: "Daddy, look, food! Let's eat her!"
The father: "You fool! We take it at home and eat your mother!".
The child: "Daddy, look, food! Let's eat her!"
The father: "You fool! We take it at home and eat your mother!".
kingjoshi
King
Got this from someone else. Supposedly true.
In a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who
was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
In a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who
was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
diablodelmar
no comment
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rotflmfao these are funny.
Here's another one:
A woman with a baby walks onto a bus. The bus driver says "What an ugly baby!" The woman is outraged but continues to walk to the back seat of the bus, where she sits down next to a man. She remarks to the man "That bus driver just insulted me!" The man replies "Thats bad, you go sort him out. I'll hold your monkey for you."
Here's another one:
A woman with a baby walks onto a bus. The bus driver says "What an ugly baby!" The woman is outraged but continues to walk to the back seat of the bus, where she sits down next to a man. She remarks to the man "That bus driver just insulted me!" The man replies "Thats bad, you go sort him out. I'll hold your monkey for you."
Kan' Sharuminar
Fluffy
Perfection said:
Reminded me of a joke by Bill Bailey:
"Three blokes go into a pub. One of them gets a bit stupid, and the whole thing unfolds with a tedious inevitability."
Abaddon
Deity
i love how this thread has survived!
Kan' Sharuminar
Fluffy
BCLG100 said:dont they all say hi to the welshman who then returns to his packet of crisps and pint and takes no further part in the joke
That comes later when he laments that the Scottishman/Englishman/Irishman jokes have no Welsh representative
diablodelmar
no comment
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Actually I have to disagree because the Irish always say the word "Wee" (it means small or insignificant). example:slozenger said:
"I was a wee bit sick yesterday"
"Is that a wee sandwich you got there?"
LLXerxes
Space Travel is Boring
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Two silk worms were in a race. What was the result?
A Tie.
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Two silk worms were in a race. What was the result?
A Tie.
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