Dreadnought
Deity
Cotton_Eyed_Joe said:
Have to think a little but then I understood 
#~~ The HEhe HAha Joke Thread ~~#
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Have to think a little but then I understood Cotton_Eyed_Joe
cookie monster
A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks.
The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?"
One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!"
The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?"
One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!"
Merlin
The Ruler
Three chinese men, Bu, Chu and Fu moved to the states. They decided to change their names too. So, Bu became Buck, Chu became Chuck and Fu moved back to China.
madviking
north american scum
What's the difference a French horn and a '51 Chevy?
You can tune a Chevy
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How do you make a trombonist's car more aerodynamic?
Remove the Dominos (TM) sign from it.
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How do you know a trombonist is at your door?
He/she rings your doorbell
You can tune a Chevy
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How do you make a trombonist's car more aerodynamic?
Remove the Dominos (TM) sign from it.
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How do you know a trombonist is at your door?
He/she rings your doorbell
Cotton_Eyed_Joe
cookie monster
madviking said:
It's funny how jokes change in externals but retain probably very old forms. I was told this joke in 1994 in a form that ends in the punchline, "Okay, coffee break's over, time to stand on your heads!"Ramius75 said:
It makes me think of an Asimov short story that is just a conversation between two scientists, some time in the future, where they try to figure out why nobody ever seems to come up with new jokes. I won't spoil the ending, because it's one of those Asimov endings that is too good to spoil, but I recommend it, if anybody can find it. (I can't remember what it's called.)
WildWeazel
Going Dutch
I remember that one.Taliesin said:
Bushface
Deity
A hick farmer gets married, comes out of the church and hoists his new wife into the buggy, then cracks his whip to set off. But the horse doesn't move. "That's once", said the farmer. A little way out of town, the farmer pulls on the reins to turn left, but the horse goes straight ahead. "That's twice", said the famer. When they got to the farm, the farmer pulled back on the reins but the horse wouldn't stop. "That's three times !" said the farmer who then drew his gun and shot the horse.
His wife went into a tirade of abuse at him for wasting a perfectly good horse.
He looked at her and said "That's once . . ."
His wife went into a tirade of abuse at him for wasting a perfectly good horse.
He looked at her and said "That's once . . ."
aaglo
Furioso!
In the early 80's, a robber stops a man on the street and pulls a gun on his head. Robber ask the man a question:
"Carter or Reagan?"
The man thinks for a moment, then replies:
"Shoot!"
"Carter or Reagan?"
The man thinks for a moment, then replies:
"Shoot!"
Sophie 378
Avvie by ybbor
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
:giggle:
Spoiler :
Japher
Voted for Bush
A neutron walks and to the bar and says "hey bartender, how much for a beer?"
to which the bartender replies, "for you? No charge!"
RameNoodle
ND Number 1!
So, why did helen kellers dog run away?
-you would too if you were called djuahwherre'nea
How do you occupy helen keller?
-put her in her room and rearrange all the furniture.
So a man was walking on a beach in california and he finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out. The genie says, "I can grant you one wish." The man thinks for a moment, and he says, "I want a bridge from here to hawaii." The genie thinks, and responds, "Eh, that's pretty hard. Think of something else." The man immediately says, "I want to know all there is to know about women. What makes them happy, what makes them sad. What makes them laugh, and what makes them cry." The genie thinks for a moment and says, "So how many lanes you want on that bridge?"
And finally, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They all need to go to the bathroom. The bartender tells them that the first mirror on the right is magic. Tell it the truth, and you'll get a reward. Lie to it, and you'll be sucked up and never seen again. So, the brunette walks in and says, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the bar." So the mirror gives her three million dollars. The redhead walks in and says, "I think those two guys at the bar like me." The mirror gives her three million dollars as well. The blonde walks in and says, "I think..." and she gets sucked up.
-you would too if you were called djuahwherre'nea
How do you occupy helen keller?
-put her in her room and rearrange all the furniture.
So a man was walking on a beach in california and he finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out. The genie says, "I can grant you one wish." The man thinks for a moment, and he says, "I want a bridge from here to hawaii." The genie thinks, and responds, "Eh, that's pretty hard. Think of something else." The man immediately says, "I want to know all there is to know about women. What makes them happy, what makes them sad. What makes them laugh, and what makes them cry." The genie thinks for a moment and says, "So how many lanes you want on that bridge?"
And finally, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They all need to go to the bathroom. The bartender tells them that the first mirror on the right is magic. Tell it the truth, and you'll get a reward. Lie to it, and you'll be sucked up and never seen again. So, the brunette walks in and says, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the bar." So the mirror gives her three million dollars. The redhead walks in and says, "I think those two guys at the bar like me." The mirror gives her three million dollars as well. The blonde walks in and says, "I think..." and she gets sucked up.
. CFC has to be among a select few forums where a pair of atomic jokes could be repeated within one page 
.
Ultima Dragoon
FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!
Sophie 378 said:
Zat iz an olde but a goodie.
happy_Alex said:
I am going to do this. As many times as I can.
mrkingkong
Young Padawan
Two penguin-wrapper worthy jokes (to anyone who doesnt know, a Penguin is a small chocolate covered biscuit with a joke on the back, usually very lame)
~ What did the fish say when heswam into the wall?
Dam!
~ What did the cookie say when his friend got run over by a tank?
Oh crumbs!
~ What did the fish say when heswam into the wall?
Dam!
~ What did the cookie say when his friend got run over by a tank?
Oh crumbs!
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