Love
Deity
Why does the Finn carry a car-door in the desert?
Because he can roll down the window if it gets too hot.
Because he can roll down the window if it gets too hot.
#~~ The HEhe HAha Joke Thread ~~#
- Thread starter Abaddon
- Start date
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classical_hero
In whom I trust
Twelve priests were about to be ordained.
The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally naked,
in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.
Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie and they were told that
anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained
because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction.
She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests
until she got to the final priest, Carlos.
Poor Carlos; as she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it
flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.
Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest
and bent over to pick it up.
Then all the other bells started to ring....
The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally naked,
in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.
Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie and they were told that
anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained
because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction.
She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests
until she got to the final priest, Carlos.
Poor Carlos; as she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it
flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.
Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest
and bent over to pick it up.
Then all the other bells started to ring....
plarq
Crazy forever
All the others are gay.
A similar story: a raper guy, a homosexual guy and a money-hungry guy were dead. On their way to heaven, challenges laid for them, first a beautiful girl came around naked, the raper tried to get the girl and was sent to hell in front of the other two guys. Then there's a million dollar note laid on the road, the money hungry guy bent down to pick up the note when he suddenly remembers the outcome, and kept his hands from picking up the note. He proceeded alone to the heaven...
A similar story: a raper guy, a homosexual guy and a money-hungry guy were dead. On their way to heaven, challenges laid for them, first a beautiful girl came around naked, the raper tried to get the girl and was sent to hell in front of the other two guys. Then there's a million dollar note laid on the road, the money hungry guy bent down to pick up the note when he suddenly remembers the outcome, and kept his hands from picking up the note. He proceeded alone to the heaven...
obliterate
Warrior Monk
An aborigine walks into a bar with one thong on.
Bartender says "Lose a thong did you, mate?"
The aboringine replies "Na, I found one."
Bartender says "Lose a thong did you, mate?"
The aboringine replies "Na, I found one."
Who wears more than one thong at a time? That's just weird . . .
Mise
isle of lucy
Aborigines?
Abaddon
Deity
why?.....................
uat2d
ಠ_ಠ
or is it good 
?
obliterate
Warrior Monk
In Australia a thong is a sandal like shoe. If you're not australian you probably won't get.
Just change aboringine to some other person that you often laugh at. Mexican?
I don't laugh at Mexicans. Mexico is no laughing matter.
Also, I knew that flip-flops, as we call them, are called thongs in some places. It was a joke, all right?
Also, I knew that flip-flops, as we call them, are called thongs in some places. It was a joke, all right?
Veritass
Emperor
Q. Why do they put those little tiny steering wheels in low riders?
A. So they can drive with handcuffs on.
Q. Why don't they have barbecues?
A. Because the beans keep slipping through the grate.
A. So they can drive with handcuffs on.
Q. Why don't they have barbecues?
A. Because the beans keep slipping through the grate.
Swedishguy
Deity
Two parents bought a really expensive present for their child. The child ended up playing with the box that came with it.
uat2d
ಠ_ಠ
More blonds jokes:
AND FOR GOD SAKE, COULD SOMEONE SAY IF THEY LIKED OR NOT MY JOKES!?! I'M NOT ENGLISH, SO THEY MIGHT DON'T MAKE SENSE, A little HELP WOULD BE GOOD, OK!?!
Spoiler :
AND FOR GOD SAKE, COULD SOMEONE SAY IF THEY LIKED OR NOT MY JOKES!?! I'M NOT ENGLISH, SO THEY MIGHT DON'T MAKE SENSE, A little HELP WOULD BE GOOD, OK!?!
How do you change the sex of a donkey?
You lock it in the closet until it gets bored!
You lock it in the closet until it gets bored!
salty mud
Deity
Oh dear.
An Irishman is rushed to hospital with a suspected case of lung cancer. After waiting around, he gets a bed in a ward next to a fellow Irishman.
"Ah, you alright there?"
"Oh, aye, I'm alright"
"Where ya from mate?"
"Oh, I'm from Dublin"
"Me too!"
"Aye!"
After a brief silence, the recently bedded Irishman whispers into the other Irishman's ear, pointing at his chest "cancer". He looks, nods, and replies, "Aye, Saggitarius."
Quite a thigh slapper I tink.
GoodEnoughForMe
n.m.s.s.
A Very Short Story
Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
The woman yells out the window... ''PIG !''
Man yells out window, ''B I T C H !''
Man rounds next curve.
Crashes into a HUGE PIG standing in the middle of the road.
The man dies.
Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
The woman yells out the window... ''PIG !''
Man yells out window, ''B I T C H !''
Man rounds next curve.
Crashes into a HUGE PIG standing in the middle of the road.
The man dies.
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