The LAMEST jokes you can think of...

[Veritass]

Why did the skeleton not cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

They had to stop the leper hockey game after there was a face-off in the corner.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Lol Noobs Leprosy Doesn't Mean You'relimbs Falling Off It Is A Serious Disease!!!11!!!!1

Seriously, I tried doing the aBOVE IN ALL CAPS (FIRST BY HOLDING DOWN SHIFT, THEN WITH CAPS LOCK) AND IT CHANGED IT. HOW STUPID.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

But when I accidentally hit Caps Lock, it keeps it all capital letters.

 

[Swedishguy]

Post deleted.

 

[Souron]

But when I accidentally hit Caps Lock, it keeps it all capital letters.

The system doesn't allow you to make every word in Caps. As long as one word isn't in caps, then it's left unchanged.

 

[Heretic_Cata]

What's worser than finding a worm in an apple.

[paus]

Finding half a worm in an apple.



Get it ?

I think you mean a rooster, not a Chicken, because Chickens lay eggs, Roosters do not, since they are the males.

Err.. i understood something else.

Chickens don't lay eggs.
Chicken as in scared human. Which would explain why he was on the roof. Which would also explain him laying an egg on the tip of the roof.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

The system doesn't allow you to make every word in Caps. As long as one word isn't in caps, then it's left unchanged.

Oh I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.

It's still ridiculous.

 

[Swedishguy]

Post deleted.

 

[nonconformist]

Seriously, stop crapping up this thread with bollocks non-sequiturs that absolutely noone thinks are funny.

 

[happy_Alex]

Let's talk about SEGS baby

​

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Seriously, stop crapping up this thread with bollocks non-sequiturs that absolutely noone thinks are funny.

Ooh, that's a good one!

 

[Bushface]

How do you flatten a ghost ?


Use a spirit level.

 

[Swedishguy]

A Terry Pratchett joke!

How do you make a rock blush?
Use Nanny Ogg.

Hurrhurrhurr!

 

[Veritass]

Did you hear about the guy that got hit by a bus and lost the entire left side of this body?

He's all right now.

 

[Heretic_Cata]

^
Lol - there's an entire thread "about" that one.

 

[Ren]

What sound does a dying cow make?

The Sound Of Moo-Sick!


What happens if you get a a GB?

It MHz.


A girl's bra and a set of jumper-leads walk into a bar... The set of jumper-leads orders a beer, and the bra says it'll have the same. The bartender pours one beer and gives it to the set of jumper-leads. The bra enquires "Well, where's mine?" The bartender replies "Sorry I can't serve you... You're already off your tits!"


So there's a duck in the bar and he goes up to the bartender and asks "Got a dollar?" The bartender replies "Not for you sorry, do you want a beer?" The duck gets a beer and goes back to his seat. The duck finishes his beer and goes back to the bar and asks again "Got a dollar?" Once again the bartender replies "No, either order a drink or let me server the next patron." The duck gets another beer and sits down to drink it. The duck finishes his 2nd drink and goes back to the bar and a 3rd time, asks the bartender "Got a dollar??" The bartender is beginning to get annoyed, and threatens the duck "Look mate, you're starting to get annoying, I don't have a freakin' dollar for you!". The duck settles back into his seat, his feathers a bit ruffled from the bartender's outburst. He drinks his beer and then goes back to the bar. "Got a dollar?" The bartender slams his fist on the bar and threatens "If you ask me for a dollar one more bloody time I'm gonna nail your beak to the bar!!" The duck pauses for a minute, then asks "Got a nail?" The bartender, a little confused, replies "No, I don't have a nail either. What's your point?" The duck replies "Got a dollar?"


Two cows are standing in a field, eating grass and whatnot. One cow says to the other "So have you heard about mad cow disease? Apparently it's spreading through our area, I hope I don't catch it!!" The other cow replies "Well it's doesn't worry me at all, I'm a helicopter!"


What do you call a man under a car?

Jack.


What do you call a man hiding in the bushes?

Russel.


What do you call a man floating in the water?

Bob.


And finally, one CFC related:
How do fundamentalists spell their words?

Fanatically!

 

[Veritass]

What does "Siss-Boom-Bah" mean?

Nothing. It is merely the sound of a sheep exploding.

 

[LLXerxes]

Seriously, stop crapping up this thread with bollocks non-sequiturs that absolutely noone thinks are funny.

That's the point of the thread, mate.

How are the Nile River and Crocodiles similar?
They both end in an 'ile' sound.

Catch my drift?

 

[Swedishguy]

Post deleted.

 

[Heretic_Cata]

That's the point of the thread, mate.

How are the Nile River and Crocodiles similar?
They both end in an 'ile' sound.

Catch my drift?

Actually he is right. The point of the thread is to post lame jokes that are SO LAME that they are considered funny and not just spam.

Over here there is a term for these so-called "jokes". It's translated into something like "dry jokes". They are called like this because they lack substance and absolutley anything else. When you say these jokes don't expect anyone to smile even.
An example of such joke (aside from those already posted) would be:

Why is there a submarine above London ?
I don't know.

HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA
_______________________


Lame jokes OTOH are the type of jokes that makes the "audience" laugh at you for saying such a lame joke.
A good examples are any jokes that are about e^x. Lasting through them was a small price to pay for the "OMG that was so LAME - the teacher is so LAME" feeling you get at the end. And of course i loled at those jokes.
(small note: pornographic jokes that are about math are the funniest lame jokes i've ever heard)


How your joke with the ile thing. Now that was LAME. And that's a compliment meaning you were on topic.
But this one for example :

Do you know what idifiejqowqkwo is?
No...
Me neither!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111

cough.

It's err ...