The LAMEST jokes you can think of...

Status
Not open for further replies.
When Fred was in 5th grade he got straight A's and his dad asked him "What do you want?" and he says "I want a thousand pink ping pong balls" and his dad said "Why do you want a thousand pink ping pong balls" and he said "You'll find out sooner or later."

When Fred was in 6th grade he got straight A's and his dad asked him "What do you want?" and he says "I want a thousand pink ping pong balls" and his dad said "Why do you want a thousand pink ping pong balls" and he said "You'll find out sooner or later."

When Fred was in 8th grade he got straight A's and his dad asked him "What do you want?" and he says "I want a thousand pink ping pong balls" and his dad said "Why do you want a thousand pink ping pong balls" and he said "You'll find out sooner or later."

When Fred was in 9th grade he got straight A's and his dad asked him "What do you want?" and he says "I want a thousand pink ping pong balls" and his dad said "Why do you want a thousand pink ping pong balls" and he said "You'll find out sooner or later."

When Fred was in 10th grade he got straight A's and his dad asked him "What do you want?" and he says "I want a thousand pink ping pong balls" and his dad said "Why do you want a thousand pink ping pong balls" and he said "You'll find out sooner or later."

When Fred was in 11th grade he got into a horrible car crash. In the hospital, his dad said "You never told me why did you wanted a thousand pink ping pong balls" and Fred said "I wanted a thousand pink ping pong balls because..." and then he died.
 
What is black and white & red all over?

A zebra carcass.
 
Alternative answers:
A newspaper
A can of Campbell's soup
 
^^ And the mangled corpse of racial equality in today's world of hate crime, tabloid scare stories and the decline of morality and good humour.

...what?
 
two men, are having a chat outside, when a car pulls up beside them. the driver rolls down the window and says 'entschuldigung, konnen sie deutsch sprechen?'. the two men stare at him. 'excusez-moi, parlez vous francais?'. they continue to stare. 'Parlare Italiano?' the driver tries. no response. 'Habla ustedes Espanol?'. still nothing. the driver rolls his window back up, and drives away disappointed.
'you know, maybe we should learn a foreign language'
'why? he spoke four and it didn't do him any good at all'
 
"Juliet, Juliet! Why do you ignore me so? You know I cannot live without you!"

"Yeah, so I thought you'd be dead by now."
 
Two dumb guys were hunting, and they came across some tracks. #1 argued that they are bear tracks, #2 argued that they are deer tracks, and while they were arguing, the train hit them.

:lol:

Two dumb guys were hunting, and they got lost. #1 said that he heard if you get lost, you should shoot in the air three times, so they tried it. No one came. They tried it again. No one came. #2 said, "I hope help comes soon; we're almost out of arrows."

:lol:

Two dumb guys are fishing, and they find a spot where they are catching fish after fish, so they want to remember where it is. #1 said, "I know. I will mark an 'X' on the side of the boat where we are." #2 said, "You idiot. What if we don't get the same boat next time?"

:lol:

Two dumb guys are working on a house. #1 sees that #2 is using some of the nails, and throwing away some of the nails, so he asks what is up. #2 says, "Those nails have the head on the wrong end." #1 says, "You idiot. Those are for the other side of the house!"

:lol:
 
Did I tell this one?

What's a polar bear?
A rectangular bear with an alternate co-ordinate system!
 
A polar bear?
Spoiler :
A bear that's either extremely elated or extremely depressed.

Ha ha ha.

A bipolar bear?
Spoiler :
A bear that's got a doppelganger on the other side of the world.

Ha ha ha.

(the "best" in this list--from Adult Swim, as I recall it)
Are you heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or trysexual?
Spoiler :
We're retrosexual.
Spoiler :
We only sleep with people we've slept with before.

Ha ha ha ha!
 
My wife says I'm cold as marble. She says I take her for granite.

(Read it out loud.)
 
#1- Why did the chicken cross the road?
Spoiler :
To Prove he was not a Chicken
Spoiler :
crap, I just made myself hungry
Spoiler :
Have u ever tried that..- oo wait I was thinkin off...
Spoiler :
Fried Fish =D
Spoiler :
but still, I tried fried chicken b4, very good...
Spoiler :
but fattenin
Spoiler :
how many times do I have to put spoilers?!

#2- *Knock Knock*
Spoiler :
whoz there?
Spoiler :
interruption
Spoiler :
inter..-
Spoiler :
*knock knock*
Spoiler :
whoz there?
Spoiler :
interruption
Spoiler :
inter..-
Spoiler :
*knock knock*
Spoiler :
whoz there?
Spoiler :
unexpected event
Spoiler :
unexpected event who?
Spoiler :
*BSMACK!*
Spoiler :
well its more fun to actually do dat stuff, but still lame joke whenever...
Spoiler :
it is typed up, especially when
Spoiler :
you are practically spamming wit spoilers and hopin that...
Spoiler :
the moderators dont notice :mischief:
 
What do you get when you mix a parrot with a whale?
Spoiler :
Nothing, of course. I mean, what could possibly happen?

What do you get when you blend a parrot with a whale?
Spoiler :
Well, since the whale can't fit in a blender, you get a whole lot of bloody feathers.

...What will Satan get as a pet?
Spoiler :
A hot dog. Yeah.
 
Somebody ask me if I'm a policeman.
 
No, I'm not.

EDIT: I really don't get the joke either. Please don't judge me.
 
I'm gonna tell you the funniest joke I now. Hold on to yer chairs, folks!

In the mind of an old farmer lady in 1954
"What's an Elvis? Must be a new type of pie. Mmmm, Elvis pie!"
*Swedishguy falls off the chair and rolls around laughing*

It's so funny... :lol: :lol: :lol: (cough, cough weeezz)

Cookie to the one who gets the joke first.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom