The Llamast Jokes Thread... 3

[Uncle Sparky]

I am currently participating in hook-up culture. Yesterday, I hooked up my VCR, and today I might hook up my Super Nintendo!

 

[Uncle Sparky]

What does Batman put in his whiskey?

Just ice.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

State of Emergency survival tip -

Squirrels are the chicken-of-the-trees.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Today's inspirational thought -

"If we run out of food, we still have each other." - Hannibal Lecter

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Did you hear about the yacht builder that had to work from home?

His sails went through the roof!

 

[Serutan]

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I cut my finger slicing cheese, but I might have grater problems...

 

[Uncle Sparky]

What do you call a magician who has lost his magic?

Ian.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

What do we want?

More acronyms!

When do we want them?

ASAP!

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Since the COVID-19 virus supposedly started with bats and was transmitted to people, maybe we should call it Bat-man disease...

 

[Uncle Sparky]

People say I'm a plagiarist... their words, not mine.

 

[Arakhor]

I'm not a fan of moustaches, but over the years, they've grown on me.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Today I saw a midget going down a escalator.

I thought, 'That's a little condescending'.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Two conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.

Now, you can't tell me that is a coincidence.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I have some racing geese for sale, if anyone would like a quick gander.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

SIX without the 'S' is 9.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

English puns make me feel numb.

Math puns make me feel number.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

A joke from Germany:

What borders on stupidity?

Mexico and Canada.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

What happens if you have a peak-a-boo accident?

You end up in the ICU.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I found $20 in a parking lot and thought. 'What would Jesus do?'

So, I turned it into wine.