The Llamast Jokes Thread... 3

[Kyriakos]

Posted here because:
1. it is lame enough
2. is there even a (non-political) funny images thread?...

 

[Thrasybulos]

Napoleon enters a bar, throws his hand out of his jacket and into the air proclaiming: "I vanquished!"

The barman answers (in a barman tone): "I'm sorry sir we just have 19 chairs."

Spoiler :

It works better in French. If I translate:
"J'ai vaincu" is heard exactly like "J'ai vingt culs" or "I have 20 asses"

Yeah, that one is pretty much lost in translation.

Maybe it could be adapted to something like:

Napoleon enters a bar, throws his hand out of his jacket and into the air exclaiming: "Victory !"

The barman steals a glance at the empty space behind the bar and answers (in a barman tone): "I'm sorry sir, that's her day off."

 

[Uncle Sparky]

If any of you non billionaires want to go into space for 11 minutes, contact me for my 'special' brownie recipe. (Travel times may vary).

 

[Kyriakos]

 

[Gori the Grey]

If at first you don't succeed . . . then skydiving is not for you.

Not my own, but I laughed when I heard it and thought you all might too.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I was chased by a skelton. When it caught me, it gave me a kiss, and a big hug...

Turns out it was an XOskelton.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said 'no'.

 

[danjuno]

My mouse girlfriend took me to see her parents. I told them I was cheesed to meet them.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

My mouse girlfriend took me to see her parents. I told them I was cheesed to meet them.

I know a gouda joke.

 

[Kyriakos]

Spoiler :

I am not sure about the response. Maybe it could have been better if formatted differently so as to not have conflict between talking and dialogue/die a log. But shortening it to "So you will dialogue" might be too brief. I didn't write this, just reflecting on it.

 

[Thrasybulos]

Spoiler :

I am not sure about the response. Maybe it could have been better if formatted differently so as to not have conflict between talking and dialogue/die a log. But shortening it to "So you will dialogue" might be too brief. I didn't write this, just reflecting on it.

Spoiler :

I agree the woodcutter's answer could be improved.
The even shorter "So... dialogue!" could work.
Or something like "Let's dialogue, then!".

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Kentucky Derby winner Sovreignty turned down a audience with Donald Trump.
When asked why, the winner replied,

Spoiler :

"If I wanted to see a horses ass, I would have come in second."

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Every horse in the 2025 Kentucky Derby is decended from Secretariat...

This is clearly neighpotism.

 

[dariusII]

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that.

 

[Kyriakos]

 

[dariusII]

I failed at math so many times, I can't even count.