Kozmos
Jew Detective
Post it......Dachspmg
The Real World NES
- Thread starter Lord_Iggy
- Start date
alex994
Hail Divine Emperor!
Actually, I know her better because of her role in the Belisarius series by Eric Flint 
I would say convincing Justinian to stay during the Nika(spelling) Riots would be doing something
I would say convincing Justinian to stay during the Nika(spelling) Riots would be doing something
Insane_Panda
Deity
w00t. I r trajan.
Israelite9191
You should be reading
Thinking about it, our of world leaders, I would actually compare myself to King David (this is ignoring his being Jewish, BTW). I utilize religion heavily, am a nation building, enjoy diplomatic manipulation, and prefer quick, all out wars conducted with specific goals in mind. I have no idea which roman emperor I would be.
das
Regeneration In Process
Neither do I, and as I already said, can't find any other analogues neither apart from perhaps Friedrich the Great.
Just post it already, Dachs! Personally I suspect that I am Caligula or Constantine; if so, then I probably had some great plans for the former before quiting for some reason, luckily for Rome in the long-term I suppose (but in short-term, more luckily for its neighbours).
Just post it already, Dachs! Personally I suspect that I am Caligula or Constantine; if so, then I probably had some great plans for the former before quiting for some reason, luckily for Rome in the long-term I suppose (but in short-term, more luckily for its neighbours).
Insane_Panda
Deity
You (kind of) remind me of Septimus Severus.
das
Regeneration In Process
Funny, you remind me of Septimus yourself - domestic reforms+military campaigns.
das
Regeneration In Process
Here's some random WWI stuff. Wilhelm II's life and career is a gold mine in this regard...
Possibly more to come.
before 1914 update said:Raymond Poincare said:Edward Grey said:Wilhelm II said:Nicholas II said:Franz Joseph I said:Nicholas II said:Wilhelm II said:Raymond Poincare said:And if you attack Russia, I attack you! World war!
Wilhelm II said:Yes, good thing it will never happen, isn't it?Franz Joseph I said:Wilhelm II said:Petar I said:Wilhelm II said:Petar I said:Franz Joseph I said:WTH?!Why the hell should I betray you?! I have Average culture, for god's sake, I don't want a war!
Petar I said:Franz Joseph I said:Moderator said:Sorry, too late! Update nearly finished!Franz Joseph I said:
after the 1914 update said:Wilhelm II said:Well it wasn't as bad as expected until this, but that is RI-DI-CI-LOUS! Did you not read my orders at all?! I clearly said that we are to concentrate on the Western Front! The Russians weren't a threat, they wouldn't have taken Berlin anyway, while I could've taken Paris! Come on! I have spent an entire eco. level on my military leadership, its Brilliant+2, why is it so bloody stupid if its supposed to be brilliant?!Update said:
Ugh. Sorry about the rant, but this is almost too much. I like this NES, but why the hell are you not following my orders? I didn't send that huge PM with the Schlieffen Plan back then for nothing, you know.Raymond Poincare said:Calm down.
EDIT:
So what was it about not preparing to invade us again?Wilhelm II said:Wilhelm II said:Joseph Franz I said:
Possibly more to come.
Insane_Panda
Deity
Hiliarious. I particularly like Wilhelm's reactions and responses and Franz Joseph's aswell
IronMan2055
Korra 2011
The three realms
Crono the king: hahahahahahaha no one can defeat me
ZuestheJuice: you forget about me?
Crono the king: you and what army
ZuestheJuice: 3...2...1...
Crono the king: aww stupid lobster *throws up*
He'stillhere,Themeter,Hereiam,Plutocorn,Posidey: sweet shell fish makes new nations
ZuestheJuice: want to ally with me?
He'stillhere,Themeter,Hereiam,Plutocorn,Posidey: sure
Crono the king: well damn. Get those ugly siblings i imprisoned i bet they'll
help.
ZuestheJuice: well that was easy. Oh and i call sky!
Posidey: I call sea!
Plutocorn: crap! (mutters about dead people) i'll go find someone to find pomagrante seeds to.
versephone: ohh!
Crono the king: hahahahahahaha no one can defeat me
ZuestheJuice: you forget about me?
Crono the king: you and what army
ZuestheJuice: 3...2...1...
Crono the king: aww stupid lobster *throws up*
He'stillhere,Themeter,Hereiam,Plutocorn,Posidey: sweet shell fish makes new nations
ZuestheJuice: want to ally with me?
He'stillhere,Themeter,Hereiam,Plutocorn,Posidey: sure
Crono the king: well damn. Get those ugly siblings i imprisoned i bet they'll
help.
ZuestheJuice: well that was easy. Oh and i call sky!
Posidey: I call sea!
Plutocorn: crap! (mutters about dead people) i'll go find someone to find pomagrante seeds to.
versephone: ohh!
alex994
Hail Divine Emperor!
Dachspmg, post your list of Roman Emperors!
jeps
Arcadefire
I have never NESed before, and am considering starting. However, here is my (only slightly biased) 3rd Intifada and the rest of the middle east crises.
2000 - Present
E-HU-Da-man Barak : That's it! I will withdraw from Lebanon. For now....
HaRiRi: FINALLY!!!! w00t! MOD, I need to update my orders. Fire rockets at Israel. No, better yet, allow allies to give rockets to organizations we are trying to "supress" to fire at Israel!
Yasser ARABfat : I have a great idea for a new UU! A suicide bomber. They blow themselves up and kill civilians!
MOD : That has been your UU since the Second Intafada. No, the FIRST Intafada. Wait, actually since BEFORE the Intifadas!
Yasser ARABfat : Well than spend all my eco points building them this turn!
Billy C : Make Love, (but not to that woman) not war! Take this plan. I call it The Sharm al-Sheikh agreement!!!!
Yasser ARABfat : Okay! Oh wait now that I read it.... ATTACK!
ARIEl shARON : SWEET! I GOT ELECTED! I PWN YOU ALL!!!!! I AM 1337er THAN YOU!
E-HU-Da-man Barak : That's it! I am gone. ^¢# you all!
Yasser ARABfat : UU's attack their buses, pizza parlours, ice cream shops, resteraunts and malls. They can't live without them.
ARIEl shARON : Buses, pizza parlours, malls, and resteraunts I can live without. BUT THIS IS A DESERT COUNTRY! WE NEED ICE CREAM! Mod, start conscription!
MOD : You have had that since....1948. You two, I will have unfavorable events coming to both of you in the future for requesting things you already have. One of you shall live no longer than 3 more years. As for the other, I'll give you 5 but you wont be able to do anything then!
Yasser ARABfat : Dude, seriously. Stop planning that far ahead. Its like your not giving our orders a chance, you already know whats going to happen.
oSaMa BiN LaDeN : TAKE THIS AMERICAN INFIDELS!
G Dubya : Your invaded. We will use our nukular weapons against you if needed.
AhmAdInEjAd : I'm starting Nukes and nobody can do a thing!
SadDAMn : Mod, hide all my wmd's! UN is coming!
Title: WMD POEM
AUTHOR : SADDAM
There once was a man named saddam,
He had many dangerous bombs.
The UN was coming,
and the war drums were drumming.
SO I HID THE BOMB AND KILLED EVERYONE WHO KNEW ABOUT IT!
Mod : Not great poetry, but creative. For that I will let you hide the WMD's safely.
G Dubya : OMG WTH!!!! I know he has those nukular weapons somewhere!
ARIEl shARON : DONT FORGET ME! I may or may not have nukes. I WILL SAY NOTHING! NOTHING I TELL YOU! PUT ME IN THE PAPERS!
oSaMa BiN LaDeN : You can't find me!!!! Madrid take that! You too London!
SadDAMn : ^@@$#R%$#@%@#Q%#!@@!#%^$#$%@#$^QJI#J!!!!!
THE AMERICANS WHO CANT SPEAK INTELLIGENTLY CAUGHT ME! NO FAIR!
Mod : You didnt send your orders in.
SadDAMn : I was in a farmhouse hiding! I couldn't get my orders in! I SAID NPC ME!
G Dubya : MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!
...
MOD : It's been 3 years!
Yasser ARABfat : HAHA! I Feel fine. Too bad for *dies*
A-BBuS Bomber : I WIN THE ELECTION! HAMAS ALL THE WAY!
ARIEl shARON : New party!!! GO KADIMA! MORE HUMMUS LESS HAMAS!!!!!
A-BBuS Bomber : I will beat you! MY ORDERS ARE WAY BETTER!
...
MOD : How are you feeling ariel?
ARIEl shARON : Fine I'm zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
E-HU-Da-man OLMERT : I'll take M'dinat Yisrael!
Nasrallah : I've taken your soldiers! What are you going to do! Release all our prisoners like last time?
G DUBYA, T BLAIR : we will support you fully olmert!
E-HU-Da-man OLMERT : NO! YOU HAVE A FEW HOURS TO RELEASE THEM OR WE BOMB YOU TO THE STONE AGE!
Nasrallah : EAT KATYUSHA!
E-HU-Da-man OLMERT : MOD, orders sent. and George and Tony have deposited 1,000 dollars in your bank account for me.
MOD : UPDATE! Syria, Iran, and Iraq all choose not to side with Hizbollah!
Nasrallah : *^&*(YIGUT@*(&$ YOU MOD!!!!!
E-HU-Da-man OLMERT : I think we've done enough! UN YOUR TURN!
CHI(ra)C-KEN : I'll send in troops!
G Dubya : THANKS! Freedom fries renamed french fries!
CHI(ra)C-KEN : I can't send them in.
Nasrallah : HA I DONT NEED YOU MOD! THEY HELP ME ENOUGH!
Verhofstadt : NOT SO FAST! TROOPS GO TO LEBANON!
CHI(ra)C-KEN : I might be able to now. We are preparing our army in their bleu, blanc, et rouge, and their white flags!
2000 - Present
E-HU-Da-man Barak : That's it! I will withdraw from Lebanon. For now....
HaRiRi: FINALLY!!!! w00t! MOD, I need to update my orders. Fire rockets at Israel. No, better yet, allow allies to give rockets to organizations we are trying to "supress" to fire at Israel!
Yasser ARABfat : I have a great idea for a new UU! A suicide bomber. They blow themselves up and kill civilians!
MOD : That has been your UU since the Second Intafada. No, the FIRST Intafada. Wait, actually since BEFORE the Intifadas!
Yasser ARABfat : Well than spend all my eco points building them this turn!
Billy C : Make Love, (but not to that woman) not war! Take this plan. I call it The Sharm al-Sheikh agreement!!!!
Yasser ARABfat : Okay! Oh wait now that I read it.... ATTACK!
ARIEl shARON : SWEET! I GOT ELECTED! I PWN YOU ALL!!!!! I AM 1337er THAN YOU!
E-HU-Da-man Barak : That's it! I am gone. ^¢# you all!
Yasser ARABfat : UU's attack their buses, pizza parlours, ice cream shops, resteraunts and malls. They can't live without them.
ARIEl shARON : Buses, pizza parlours, malls, and resteraunts I can live without. BUT THIS IS A DESERT COUNTRY! WE NEED ICE CREAM! Mod, start conscription!
MOD : You have had that since....1948. You two, I will have unfavorable events coming to both of you in the future for requesting things you already have. One of you shall live no longer than 3 more years. As for the other, I'll give you 5 but you wont be able to do anything then!
Yasser ARABfat : Dude, seriously. Stop planning that far ahead. Its like your not giving our orders a chance, you already know whats going to happen.
oSaMa BiN LaDeN : TAKE THIS AMERICAN INFIDELS!
G Dubya : Your invaded. We will use our nukular weapons against you if needed.
AhmAdInEjAd : I'm starting Nukes and nobody can do a thing!
SadDAMn : Mod, hide all my wmd's! UN is coming!
Title: WMD POEM
AUTHOR : SADDAM
There once was a man named saddam,
He had many dangerous bombs.
The UN was coming,
and the war drums were drumming.
SO I HID THE BOMB AND KILLED EVERYONE WHO KNEW ABOUT IT!
Mod : Not great poetry, but creative. For that I will let you hide the WMD's safely.
G Dubya : OMG WTH!!!! I know he has those nukular weapons somewhere!
ARIEl shARON : DONT FORGET ME! I may or may not have nukes. I WILL SAY NOTHING! NOTHING I TELL YOU! PUT ME IN THE PAPERS!
oSaMa BiN LaDeN : You can't find me!!!! Madrid take that! You too London!
SadDAMn : ^@@$#R%$#@%@#Q%#!@@!#%^$#$%@#$^QJI#J!!!!!
THE AMERICANS WHO CANT SPEAK INTELLIGENTLY CAUGHT ME! NO FAIR!
Mod : You didnt send your orders in.
SadDAMn : I was in a farmhouse hiding! I couldn't get my orders in! I SAID NPC ME!
G Dubya : MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!
...
MOD : It's been 3 years!
Yasser ARABfat : HAHA! I Feel fine. Too bad for *dies*
A-BBuS Bomber : I WIN THE ELECTION! HAMAS ALL THE WAY!
ARIEl shARON : New party!!! GO KADIMA! MORE HUMMUS LESS HAMAS!!!!!
A-BBuS Bomber : I will beat you! MY ORDERS ARE WAY BETTER!
...
MOD : How are you feeling ariel?
ARIEl shARON : Fine I'm zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
E-HU-Da-man OLMERT : I'll take M'dinat Yisrael!
Nasrallah : I've taken your soldiers! What are you going to do! Release all our prisoners like last time?
G DUBYA, T BLAIR : we will support you fully olmert!
E-HU-Da-man OLMERT : NO! YOU HAVE A FEW HOURS TO RELEASE THEM OR WE BOMB YOU TO THE STONE AGE!
Nasrallah : EAT KATYUSHA!
E-HU-Da-man OLMERT : MOD, orders sent. and George and Tony have deposited 1,000 dollars in your bank account for me.
MOD : UPDATE! Syria, Iran, and Iraq all choose not to side with Hizbollah!
Nasrallah : *^&*(YIGUT@*(&$ YOU MOD!!!!!
E-HU-Da-man OLMERT : I think we've done enough! UN YOUR TURN!
CHI(ra)C-KEN : I'll send in troops!
G Dubya : THANKS! Freedom fries renamed french fries!
CHI(ra)C-KEN : I can't send them in.
Nasrallah : HA I DONT NEED YOU MOD! THEY HELP ME ENOUGH!
Verhofstadt : NOT SO FAST! TROOPS GO TO LEBANON!
CHI(ra)C-KEN : I might be able to now. We are preparing our army in their bleu, blanc, et rouge, and their white flags!
Thlayli
Le Pétit Prince
I wouldn't. It's been posted elsewhere, and we know where to find it if necessary.
Symphony D.
Deity
Swissempire
Poet Jester
Post it Dachs, please
TheBladeRoden
Deity
Cuban Missile Crisis
MOD: Cuba's open.
fiD4l: I'll take it.
MOD: It's yours.
Isenhauer: Dude, WTH no! I hate that noob fiD4l! Cancel all trade agreements! EDIT: n/m I'm quitting
fiD4l: w/e dude. Who needs you anyway
MOD: America's open again.
Ken_Eddy: I want it.
Nixn13: I'll take US.
MOD: Too slow, Nixn13
Nixn13: Meh, I'll try again later.
Ken_Eddy: Invade Cuba.
fiD4l: Damn, warmonger much?
MOD: Invasion fails. America loses 1 battalion of semi-rabble infantry.
fid4l: Haha, WTH? that was easy
Ken_Eddy: Grr, was hoping for rebellion.
KrewChev: FFS Ken_Eddy! Quit spamming out med nukes in Turkey!
fid4l: to KrewChev
Dude, Ken_Eddy's gettin on my ass too. Wanna have a DP? I'll change government to Communist.
KrewChev: to fid4l
OK Got something else for ya too.
gaul: Ken_Eddy, I think KrewChev might be putting missiles in Cuba.
KrewChev: Haha, no way!
Ken_Eddy: Yeah, gual, he's not that stupid! <_< >_> But build some UU Spy Planes anyway.
MOD: UU Spy Planes report possible missile site project 3/8 in Cuba.
Ken_Eddy: Yeah right. My UU sux.
KrewChev: Tru
MOD: Cuba completes missile sites project.
Ken_Eddy: What nowai! They don't have the tech level!
KrewChev: ;P
Ken_Eddy: :| I see what you did thar. Send 3 ships to blockade, er, quarantine Cuba.
fiD4l:
KrewChev: Did what where? *whistles*
Ken_Eddy: Duh! look at the attached pic!
fiD4l: !!! Only for defense, k?
KrewChev: Ya, look what you did in Turkey!
Ken_Eddy: Whatev I bet those r nuke sites.
Send in more UU spy planes.
fiD4l: Man, these spy planes ar getitng on my nerves! Build Anti-Air defenses!
MOD: America loses 1 UU Spy Plane to Cuban AA defenses.
KreChev: dude dont he'll invade you!
fiD4l: So? You're sending me nukes let's see him invade. Afterall
Ken_Eddy: I still got that blockade remember.
KreChev: Ken_Eddy, we'll get our med nukes out of Cuba in exchange for you
1.don't dec. war on fiD4l and
2.getting your med nukes out of Turkey. And a 5 year NAP.
Ken_Eddy: We'll do #1 but not #2! (PM to KreChev) Okay we'll do #2 too.
MOD: Cuba loses Missile Site Project. Cuba loses 10 nukes. Russia loses 1 Confidence.
Ken_Eddy:
KreChev: Damn! Why'd you keep that in PM?
fiD4l: Man! You're all ****ing losers you know that!?
Ken_Eddy: Geez, I hope that fiD4l quits soon.
MOD: Cuba's open.
fiD4l: I'll take it.
MOD: It's yours.
Isenhauer: Dude, WTH no! I hate that noob fiD4l! Cancel all trade agreements! EDIT: n/m I'm quitting
fiD4l: w/e dude. Who needs you anyway
MOD: America's open again.
Ken_Eddy: I want it.
Nixn13: I'll take US.
MOD: Too slow, Nixn13
Nixn13: Meh, I'll try again later.
Ken_Eddy: Invade Cuba.
fiD4l: Damn, warmonger much?
MOD: Invasion fails. America loses 1 battalion of semi-rabble infantry.
fid4l: Haha, WTH? that was easy
Ken_Eddy: Grr, was hoping for rebellion.
KrewChev: FFS Ken_Eddy! Quit spamming out med nukes in Turkey!
fid4l: to KrewChev
Dude, Ken_Eddy's gettin on my ass too. Wanna have a DP? I'll change government to Communist.
KrewChev: to fid4l
OK Got something else for ya too.
gaul: Ken_Eddy, I think KrewChev might be putting missiles in Cuba.
KrewChev: Haha, no way!
Ken_Eddy: Yeah, gual, he's not that stupid! <_< >_> But build some UU Spy Planes anyway.
MOD: UU Spy Planes report possible missile site project 3/8 in Cuba.
Ken_Eddy: Yeah right. My UU sux.
KrewChev: Tru
MOD: Cuba completes missile sites project.
Ken_Eddy: What nowai! They don't have the tech level!
KrewChev: ;P
Ken_Eddy: :| I see what you did thar. Send 3 ships to blockade, er, quarantine Cuba.
fiD4l:
KrewChev: Did what where? *whistles*
Ken_Eddy: Duh! look at the attached pic!
fiD4l: !!! Only for defense, k?
KrewChev: Ya, look what you did in Turkey!
Ken_Eddy: Whatev I bet those r nuke sites.
Send in more UU spy planes.
fiD4l: Man, these spy planes ar getitng on my nerves! Build Anti-Air defenses!
MOD: America loses 1 UU Spy Plane to Cuban AA defenses.
KreChev: dude dont he'll invade you!
fiD4l: So? You're sending me nukes let's see him invade. Afterall
Ken_Eddy: I still got that blockade remember.
KreChev: Ken_Eddy, we'll get our med nukes out of Cuba in exchange for you
1.don't dec. war on fiD4l and
2.getting your med nukes out of Turkey. And a 5 year NAP.
Ken_Eddy: We'll do #1 but not #2! (PM to KreChev) Okay we'll do #2 too.
MOD: Cuba loses Missile Site Project. Cuba loses 10 nukes. Russia loses 1 Confidence.
Ken_Eddy:
KreChev: Damn! Why'd you keep that in PM?
fiD4l: Man! You're all ****ing losers you know that!?
Ken_Eddy: Geez, I hope that fiD4l quits soon.
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