1st random prophecy / warning of the RNG Englightment centre
So saieth random-number-generatorus Meleagerster the First:
"So saith the RNG:
You people of earth think you are so great;
You think you are greater then me.
You think you can use your armies;
Your workers and warriros;
You think you can use them to force my hand;
You think you can make me do what you want.
Well I say this to you;
I speak this out loud:
I am truely random.
I make eruptions with one hand;
and give techs with the other.
I make spearmen defeat tanks;
I make barbs to invade your homes.
I make deseases.
I make gold.
I make maps of what you cannot see.
Yet you people seem to think you have me figured out;
You think you know all there is to me!
Well, I can do things you can't imagine.
I can turn your hair into pythons!
I can make your bellies explode!
I can make your nation a giant lake!
I can call meteorites to smite you!
Do not try to force me to give what you want or I may just do the opposite.
If I randomly feel like it."
I am truely random.
I make eruptions with one hand;
and give techs with the other.
I make spearmen defeat tanks;
I make barbs to invade your homes.
I make deseases.
I make gold.
I make maps of what you cannot see.
"random-number-generatorus Meleagerster the first, the RIK cultists have been conspiring against us"
"you mean they dress some people up to make us think that RIK and his angels actually exist?"
"no, master. We have found dancing fruit and they hid it."
"what!"
"see master, i stole these from the RIK church"
*shows a bunch of riggling bananas*
"what were you doing in that cult house... never mind... mnnn banana my favorite"
"what shall we do with them?"
"hmm.... 5 dancing bananas.... well i suppose that means salvation for five people, you can be one, i'll be the other, the cheif wall scriber was instrumental in bribing people so he can be the third... hmm that means 2 other people can be saved this week "
"how shall you choose them"
"I know! we shall sell them to the highest bidder! we'll make a fortune! as long as our scouts have to carry them through dangerous jungle by hand we can charge massive prices!"
"is that random though?"
"ofcourse it is; my words are randomly infailable! If we had a road though we could charge lower prices. *hint* *hint* to any goverment spies"
The next day the fruit were put on MIAbay. So which 2 randomly generous persons which to ensure their salvatin this week?
One could also say that the bad luck has only started when some of our so called enlightened team ... have turned their backs to Rik and played with the dangers of fate
I prefer to keep my personal opinion on this whole “which god is true” thing to myself… but being full of “pragmatic phlem”…
I offer 100 gold in exchange for one of these dancing fruit.
mmm... banana pie. wait, i dont need a dancing banana, ive already shown that the RNG likes pie, which means it must be a god. joint cripple dry monkey.
I had heard that General W was living a bit larger than his means... I didn't put much stock into the allegation; after all, being President, he certainly would have certain commercial 'opportunities' available to him that aren't open to the rest of us lowly citizens.
Here's the rumor: General W was instrumental in arranging the financing for the construction of the Church Of Meleet. This much is known. Classical Hero went about locating a site, and developing the plans for the structure, but it was General W who put into place the loans of workers, timber, marble, and ivory that were needed to build the Church. It is said that he was skimming off the top a MAJOR fraction. Having not yet mastered the arts of Mathematics I cannot imagine how to calculate the pounds of treasure he has usurped from the building project, but I'm certain it is a great amount.
I fear these stolen funds are now being 'given' to the church, in the hopes of appearing to be most generous. I don't think the RNG Enlightenment Center should accept donations or fees from funds so ill-gotten, so we should not charge General W for the Dancing Bananas.
In fact, we should demand that he replace the bananas given to him so far - he obviously has many very seedy connections, to whom he may turn for a 'hook-up'.
I hope your not suggesting we give the money back peter grimes, that would make the, um, RNG very mad. On a side note I don't suppose you're interested in a ?
I've been randomly thinking at random times recently that soon we will randomly meet TNT. At that point all teams would have meet and the real game will begin. So we must begin planning for the international debut of the RNG Enlightenment Association.
First, if any members could bribe certian goverment members into making the posh areas of Athens into the holy random nation, "Randotican" please do so.
Second, we are going to need some loyal members to act as priests to help with the sacrafises for the influx of converts.
Third, we need to build an even bigger enlightenment centre. I know this one isn't full yet but we can't possibly risk the RIK Cultists finding a church thats bigger then ours. This shall be the worlds largest church, a rpicture of what it shall look like is shown bellow. (in case you are wondering, the "Basilica of Our Lady of Peace of Yamoussoukro" is the worlds largest church)
Here is a plan for the opening of The International RNG Enlightenment Accosiation:
The International RNG Enlightenment Accosiation
[size=-3]From www.landtours.com[/size]
From the Randotican, the holy random country within Athens, the land of MIA.
Introduction
Some of the dedicated members of MIA have been enlightened enough to worship the RNG for some time now. Wilst some rebel elements of our nation continue to worship the entity know as "Rik Meleet", we are hopefull that they will soon convert. In the meantime however, we have "collected" enough fund to bring this wonderfull enlightenment to you.
The 10 Random Commandments of the RNG
1. Thou shall worship only the RNG… and only on random days.
2. Thou shall decide all decisions by flipping a coin.
3. Thou shall randomly make holy war against a random enemy.
4. Thou shall east dancing fruit 3 times a day.
5. The more thee donates the greater the random chance yee has of avoiding eternal damnation.
6. Thou may pay their taxes randomly.
7. Thou shall randomly vote.
8. Thou shall watch their head for randomly falling objects.
9. Thou shall name the first head of randomly generated 2 headed animals after the RNG.
10. Thou shall become one with the random.
Images
He are some pictures regarding our enlightenment.
[size=-3]From www.ourladyofvictory.org[/size]
This is the inner sanctum of the beautiful headquarters of our new church.
[size=-3]From www.danbrown.com[/size]
This is the old Enlightenment Centre in Athens. It is still used as storage for dancing fruit.
History
Unfortunately, the goverment made me edit this to stop certian goverment secrets leaking.
Random-number-generatorus Peter the great “The dice on which I shall build my philosophical ideology”
Peter was the first to see the enlightenment that the RNG had to offer. He was sitting at the beach when shells washed upon the shore randomly generated the words “You are the dice on which I shall build my philosophical ideology”. The message spread quickly. Unfortunately, Peter was soon killed in heavy rain when some hail randomly fell on him.
Random-number-generatorus Arthur the First “I played lotto and won”
Scince Peter dies so quickly, I was up to Arthur I to fill certain gaps in our philosophy. Arthur would randomly pull doctrines out of his hat; ensuring a pure, random faith. The day Arthur I randomly won the lotto, he was randomly hit by lightning on a sunny day.
Random-number-generatorus Jonathan the Ninth “you shall find only barbs until you worship me”
Jonathan IX randomly prophesied “Thou saith the RNG: ‘Spearmen shall destroy tanks unless you worship me with dancing fruit’”. And so the search for dancing tropical fruits began. They have not yet been found and as a result spearmen will soon start destroying tanks. Jonathan IX died when a meteorite randomly entered the earth’s atmosphere and struck him dead.
Random-number-generatorus Ben the Twenty-Seventh The Heretic
Ben XXVII sought to make the RNG faith more acceptable to the RIK followers. He did this by introducing the doctrines of the Infinite Civ and the Civ Trinity. Such heresy broke the first commandment that Arthur I had pulled from his hat: “Thou shall worship only the RNG”. Not many random things happened during that time. Ben XXVII died at the ripe old age of 163.
SpoilerInfinate Civ and the Civ Trininty :
The Doctrine of the Infinate Civ
The great and almighty random-number-genratorus, who leads our worship of the RNG - let it be praised has recieved a revelation from the eternal Meir about our humbel existance.
Upon watching four rich nobelmen - playing a PBEM, the almighty pope saw the truth about our existance: we are all part of a civilization game. The people clicking on us and making us do things are also part of a civilization game, and so on and so forth...
He also saw the power of the divine civ-trilogy... Sid Meir - The Almightly creator of physics and natural law, without these nothing is possible; Rik Meleet - The Creator of the world, who used Sid's physics do form the world we live in; The RNG - The controler of what happens in this world.
Quickly! We must find some dancing fruit before these gods get angry.
Random-number-generatorus Meleagerster the First Enlightenment Centre Builder
Meleagetster I caste out the heresies and returned the faith to its roots. He is also responsible for building this wonderful enlightenment centre. Meleagerster I is known for randomly finding coins and always getting 3 lux and a cow when he starts a game of civ.
Clergy
Here are the priests of The International RNG Enlightentment Association, they will help you sacrafice dancing fruit:
Meleager
Laity
Here are the current converts to the faith:
TODO: Add these
Finally, Welcome to The International RNG Enlightenment Association. People, who wish to avoid eternal damnation, please leave your donations at the door - Thankyou.
But now we must roll some dice to see if we are going to:
1. Take over the world
2. Go on vacation
3. Eat pie
4. Convert People to the RNG
5. Start a casino
6. Start buying things things off of e-bay
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