*beware: free english bashing coming*
*Please take it as i gave it: as a joke*
The role of England in History: The greatest messmakers of all time!!!
First, Anglosaxons started to raid the celts. As soon as they appear, they mess with some very nice people (of course, since they are celts!!!)
The celts people were very nice and looked at the english like young adults rebelling, and as a lot of parents do, they let them have some privacy (what is no mainly england).
But these cowards english just after being autonomous, got invaded by vikings and are unable to stop them!!! If the celts didn't let the english settled, there would have been no vikings in Europe. But no. Englishmen let the vikings have some land on british island and let them raid Europe!!! grrr!!!
But that's not sufficient to mess with Continental Europe. They have to **** France by letting them invaded by William the conqueror, something that put trouble in France!!!
however, French king Philippe Auguste get back all land from english land!!!
The welsh, a very nice group of celtic people accept in 1284 to pretend to be annexed by england. Poor englishmen, without welsh people nice behaviour, they would have been destroyed.
Unfortunately, the english king thought he was so good at wars he declared against France to start the 100 years war. Without welsh longbowmen, it would have been the 100 hour war, but there was welsh people in the army.
It's the fifth time england mess with other people!!! Can't they stay nice and peacefull!!!
However, Joan of Arc, a celtic girl living in non celtic land (of course she was celtic, she was a saint!!! almost all saint are celtics!!! that's obvious!!!) stop this mess and help the king of France to be crown in Reims. And when the welsh people decide that the shortest joke are the best and that 100 year is really to long for a good joke, England lost the war and a little after that, welsh people decide that they should lead england and the Tudor get on the throne.
For 140 years, england don't mess with other countries!!! because there was celtic people at their head!! and it correspond to the english first golden age!!!
In 1536, welsh people decide that they officially have to take care of england, that's why there's the Union Act.
However, english blood is more and more present in the body of the head of state, and messing with other people starts again in 1553, slowly, with the elimination of some honnest portuguese merchant along nigeria coast. Just ot get monopolis of slave trade!!!
They start to invade land that really didn't ask that in the new world (francis drake, etc...) and to justify racial trading, they put in school some pseudo-scientific theory about races.
In 1707, scots, very nice celtic people, sees that england put a great mess in the world and decide that they should influence england by joining them. But English people are really evil-minded people and even the scot can't prevent the english to mess with americans.
I don't really have to explain what happend in 1775....
As they are really dumb, they decide to attack France fist republic in 1793 just as a revenge!!!
To consolate the english, some irish people decide to help them (really needs it) in 1801.
It doesn't prevent evil english to invade a lot of countries in Africa, oceania, and asia.
And finally, they stole the olympics to Paris in 2012!!!!