Condottiere Felipe of the Ilote Band: The First Daring Escape
The executioner's foul breath filled the carriage. It stank of trout and wine, two scents quite alien to Felipe's nose until about a month ago, when he first embarked on the journey to Duart.
Felipe was the son of a farmer of the Upper Dakh, born to the outreaches of the Empire, where the twins' authority existed but mostly in the form of their minted faces. Where men spoke freely of the sea, for cynical irreligion more than malice, but did not expect to see it in their lifetimes. In his home region, wine was a delicacy for aristocrats and trout was a custom for foreigners. But in the Petty Kingdom of Duart, the strongest polity on a barbarian isle of the Udyns, fish and wine were staples of the common man's diet. This now familiar stench first greeted Felipe the moment he led his troop off their leased ship, the Emma Paloma, and into a tavern nearby the port village's makeshift dock. It was in this bar Felipe became accustom to the smell and, now, in the carriage meant to carry him to his death, he was surrounded by it again.
Despite the blindfold over his eyes, Felipe sensed a stillness in his cabin mate that could mean one of two things: either the "King" of Duart had some half-breed drow in his employ as a hangman, or his captor was asleep. Betting on the latter option, Felipe took the chance to pick the lock on his shackles. In the center of his right palm he had stowed away a pin from the jacket of the King's wife, and he worked diligently to unclasp his cuffs. Just as he heard the slight click, and felt the loosening on his wrists, that meant his hands were free, the cart slowed and came to a stop.
Not a moment too soon, Felipe thought to himself.
After a minute or so at rest, Felipe heard two-- no, three-- sets of footsteps surround the cart, and after another minute the carriage doors were thrust open and Felipe was pulled roughly by the left arm out of the carriage. The suddenness of this movement caught him off guard, and he nearly let his shackles fall off, but his nimble fingers managed to catch them just in time, allowing him to maintain the illusion of imprisonment. He took the fall on his left shoulder, feigning incapacitation and allowing the guard who had pried him from the carriage to lift him to his feet.
Felipe heard one of the other guards implore the man in the carriage in a mixture of the local creole and the common tongue of the empire: "Oi! Rodney, ye kata up-kup! Te narava, ye kata yob doro!"
A grunt told Felipe the executioner was awake, and a thud told Felipe he was a man of great mass.
Felipe was herded... north, he was fairly certain... towards a sound he had not been expecting: that of a crowd, holding their breaths. This was not to be the confined, personal execution he had been expecting. It was to be public.
Oh well, thought Felipe,
I can manage nonetheless.
What came next, Felipe was certainly not expecting. He was herded, next, onto what felt like a wooden stage, and his shackles were removed. The guard who did so seemed to suffer some small confusion, but made no scuffle about it, likely worried he would be blamed for what must have surely been faulty shackles. However, before Felipe could act with his arms, he was grasped on both sides by fingers with iron grips. His blindfold was removed, and he was temporarily blinded by the sunlight. When the spots cleared, he was greeted with the sight of a stockade-- not, as he had been expecting, a noose.
This is bad, he thought.
Felipe realized as he gathered his surroundings that the thud he had heard from the man in the carriage was not, in fact, the footsteps of a giant, but rather the thumping of an enormous axe, now resting at the shoulder of the executioner, who was clad in black. Before him, standing at a podium separate from the main stage where the execution was to take place, stood one of the King's thugs, dressed like a priest, reading from a script. His audience was all the citizens of Duart, likely gathered here to witness a show of strength by their warlord. Among them were crying women and children, gruff and silent patriarchs, pirates and scoundrels who likely composed the King's court, and armed guards, maintaining the complicity of the crowd.
"Felipe Navarre," read the pirate-priest with an accent underdeveloped enough to betray his mainland origin, "you stand accused of robbery, theft, and larceny, the appropriation of goods belonging to the King, and the illegal acquisition of royal property including but not limited to one silver coin, two gold earrings, a loaf of bread, a horse, a retinue's sword, and a chicken of the King's coup; of illegal mention of deities and royalties outside polite society's consciousness; and of insult to the King in the form of fornication with his wife."
As the pirate-priest spoke, Felipe investigated his surroundings further. He appeared to be in the pitifully named town square of the Petty Kingdom's capital keep, which was little more than a collection of wooden shanties surrounded by a stone wall of no more than three feet, easily to be traversed by any manner of siege-makers. It was beyond this wall, among the hills around the "city", that Felipe searched for the siege-makers he hoped would be there soon. And just as the pirate-priest neared the end of his speech, Felipe saw hope: a brown sailor's cap, adorned with a white feather, peeked around a tree trunk atop a hill perhaps ten yards out from the wall, and darted behind again as soon as it had come. Felipe allowed himself a smile.
"You stand accused of these crimes by King Walthorn of the Udynian Kingdom, Emperor of the East, Lord of Death, Bread, and Security, and Undying Steward of Humanity. The sentence for your transgression is death by beheading. You are guilty; prepare to face your punishment. Any final words?"
At the center of the crowd, Felipe's shifty eyes found the gleam of a golden crown: the King. Felipe stared directly into the man's unsettling eyes, black as coal, as he was led towards the stockade by his flanking guard. Then: just behind the bleachers hosting the congregation, Felipe saw a familiar face grinning down at him.
"Yes, your honor. I speak to you, the people of the Emperor of Duart or whatever, with truest and deepest repentance in my heart. I am deeply sorry I have turned your immortal God-King into a ****old, and I fear that, if he truly lives forever, so too will his shame in this respect."
The crowd grew restless. Men turned to one another, with the hints of repressed laughter breaking their stoic faces. Tears stopped. Whispers, even, began to replace them. In the center of it all, the King clenched his teeth; one gleamed in the light, as golden as his crown. Felipe continued to talk, one eye always on the shanty window where he saw an arrow poised to strike, waiting for a moment of stillness to secure a clean shot.
"I wish only that I would have had a chance to apologize to the Queen herself. Not for my own love; but for the evidently lacking love of her husband, whose package is small enough to necessitate so much golden compensation."
At this, laughter began to erupt in the crowd, small at first, then raging, growth like a wildfire. The King rose to his feet. This prompted the guards to tense. This allowed two arrows, each originating from the shanties on either side of the bleachers, through the air and into the foreheads of each of Felipe's guards. Their tense turned slack for just a moment-- just a moment was all they needed.
Felipe wrenched free of his captors before the Kingdom could react, using their bodies as springboards to launch himself into an arc through the air. Backwards, he leaped onto the chest of his would-be executioner, winding the man and knocking him on his ass. Felipe bound from the stage just as his band swung down from the shanties into the crowd.
It was a glorious sight: each of his five compatriots fell behind a guard on the top row of the bleachers, and just as quickly the mens' throats were slit, and the Ilote Brotherhood continued to the next level. The guards at the bottom level set about charging up the stands, but were interrupted by the fleeing civilians, who jumped from the bleachers, ran down their stairs, or otherwise disrupted the ascension of the guards. This prompted the guards to react brutally against the crowd, beating and bludgeoning even the smallest children, thus igniting a full-blown peasant revolt by the gruff men who had found their families under the rough demesne of Duart.
And at the center of it all: the King. The real target of Felipe's mission, too infamous for his own good. Felipe made his way towards the king, carrying the discarded shackles as a weapon and resolving to larcenize one last possession: Duart's fabled Golden Crown of Invulnerability.
With one last leap, Felipe confronted the King.
"ASSKANI YE?!" bellowed the monarch.
Felipe gave no pause and swung his chain into the man's face, knocking out several teeth and dislodging the crown.
All at once, the battle in the stands went silent, as the wind around them was sucked into the King's gasping lungs. All at once, the attention of every guard in the stands turned towards Felipe. All at once, weeks, years, decades, and perhaps even centuries heaped onto the shoulders of the man before Felipe, his skin giving way to bone and then to dust, a partially decomposed skeleton all that eventually remained of the King's regal stature. In the ashes, a Crown, a golden tooth, and a scepter. Quickly, Felipe's fingers snatched up these three trophies, and even more quickly, he jumped from the stands onto the street and sprinted towards the docks.
"To the Emma Paloma!" he bellowed, and his crew followed behind. The six men attracted a furious following of guards, and even the priest-pilot gave pursuit; these men were, in turn, followed by hundreds of angry villagers, some armed with sticks, stones, bottles, and whatever else could kill.
The seventh crew-member of this band of mercenaries, himself a mercenary-mercenary of a kind, made ready the ship. Captain Sherman of the Emma Paloma cut ties with the dock as soon as the last of Felipe's men was able to land on the deck, and with haste the seven men left port, leaving behind ruin, wreckage, and revolt on the Isle of Duart: another job well done by Condottiere Felipe and the Ilote Band.
[Hero (Condottiere Felipe): 2 Magic to the creation of the Golden Crown of Invulnerability, 2 Civilization to the loyal Ilote Band of mercenary-rogues, 1 Civilization to the retainer of Captain Sherman and the Emma Paloma.]
Named Places and Worldbuilding:
- The Island of Duart, and its resident Petty Kingdom of Duart, is the southeastern- most island in the Udyns. It is one of many pirate kingdoms in the islands, and hosts a relatively large port for the area, with a population of a few hundred to a few thousand depending on the time of year and the maritime traffic. The Udynian population features an ethnic mix of humans as well as some non-human races and their mixtures; human supremacy is a de facto part of life here, though non-humans still live generally unbothered. The majority of the island's sentient races speak a creole mix of the Imperial common tongue and northern dialects.
- The Upper Dakh is the southwestern stretch of the Dakh river, and while a de jure part of the Empire, it does not see much direct imperial administration. This region is known for its fertile soil and farming output, and rural human lifestyle.
- Drow, dark-elves, are only rumors for most of the world, said to live in the mountains east and north of the Amethyst. Some prominent Court Assassins and Spymasters for both the Empire and prominent polities throughout the world have been rumored to be Drow, as the race is known for its cunning and intelligence.