Muttering to himself, Claudio de Luca busied himself with organizing his things from his desk into a dusty brown suitcase that lay splayed open on the floor. Loose pieces of paper, paperweights, paper envelopes and lots of rather expensive but mostly useless pens that he had gained as presents from one dignitary or the other, all of it was push crudely into the brown suitcase. After he cleared his desk of the important things he began riffling through his drawers, picking out any loose cash that he had left inside from his previous dealings. Such a bother all this was, he thought as he went on to a safe under his desk where he kept most of his money from his less than legal dealings with the “locals”. He removed the envelopes full with money and stuffed them into socks before placing them into the suitcase, which at this point was full to the brim. This however did not deter the determined Claudio who relentlessly packed more and more parcels of sock-wrapped money, into the case until his safe was emptied. With a huff he then went about the cumbersome business of trying to close the suitcase, which at this point was refusing to do just that, close. Finally he resorted to sitting on the case and grunting and fidgeting as he pushed bits of this and that back into the suitcase which had previously decided to try and escape. Just as he was finally about to get the case closed a soft knock came from the door, which promptly sent him tumbling backwards off suitcase in fright and onto the floor. Of course the contents of his suitcase was more than happy to take the opportunity to jump out of it, therefore undoing the majority of his hard work. Now Claudio was not by any means a small man, in fact he was quite the opposite. This fact made it increasingly difficult for Claudio to get up after his untimely tumble as he, at the moment, lay on the floor huffing and puffing and resembling more and more a turtle on its back, as he struggled to get to his feet.
“Not now Lia I’m rather busy at the moment!” Claudio cried as he finally righted himself and immediately set about gathering his scattered belongings and throwing them in the trunk. The door creaked open a bit behind him and in popped the head of a rather stiff, but relatively attractive looking young woman with particularly long brown hair.
“I’m sorry sir but there is a... *Inspector Alessandro here asking for he” she said rather hastily, a look of worry scrunching her features together. She looked over her shoulder, before whispering to Claudio “he is from Section 9 sir!”
“Section 9!” Claudio hissed, his eyes darting around the room before he began to move with greater urgency, scrambling around to pick up his things and throw them into the suitcase “stall him Lia, I don’t care what you have to do just give me.... 5... 10 minutes!”
“Of course sir” she whispered back before withdrawing her head from the room and shutting the door.
Dull murmurs of a conversation filtered through the door as Claudio finally gathered all his things back into the case, which again refused to close. I don’t have time for this, he thought to himself as he hastily picked up the case, holding it shut with both of his arms. Bits and pieces of paper and socks stuck out from the sides of the suitcase as he waddled over to the door, the case blocking most of his vision as he held it in a precarious balance between his large stomach and two beefy arms. Damn this door, he thought as he shuffled around at different angles, trying to open the door knob with his elbow. Beads of sweat started to farm along his brow as he struggled with the door handle, which had already infuriated him to red-faced proportions. He could hear the murmurs getting louder, the Inspector was probably getting fed up with the stalling tactic, either that or Lia wasn’t trying hard enough. Claudio didn’t have much time, and this was a factor which he was well aware of so with a final grunt of frustration he twisted his elbow to the point where it felt like it would pop out of his arm and succeeded in opening the door. However this was at the exact time Inspector Alessandro pushed his way through Lia and the waiting room door and into main reception room, which Claudio had just succeeding in entering as well. At this point Inspector Alessandro, who was being unsuccessfully restrained by a desperate Lia, saw Claudio and his suitcase full of paper and socks. This of course meant that Claudio also saw, though his vision was half blocked by the suitcase, and immediately froze like a frightened rabbit caught in a trap.
“Representative Claudio de Luca I demand that you...” Inspector Alessandro began to say.
“Ah inspector yes yes I do apologize I was just leaving you see” Claudio quickly spat as he shuffled towards the opposite door “I’m very sorry I could not see to your grievance, if you could just leave a message with Lia I’ll be more than happy to...”
“Signore de Luca I must insist that you come with...”
“Very sorry you see I’ve got dinner with the wife, she will throw a great fuss if I’m late, you know how it is of course inspector” Claudio again interrupted Inspector Alessandro as he was almost at the door.
“Signore de Luca this is not a question of your convenience, by order of the Chief of Section 9 and the Section 9 directive I here by order you to follow me back to Section 9 headquarters on allegations of multiple acts of bribery as well as taking bribes, misappropriating government funds, multiple acts of...” before Inspector Alessandro could finish his sentence, yet again, Claudio suddenly throw the contents of his suitcase as well as his dusty old brown suitcase at the inspector before taking off. Without much time to react Inspector Alessandro, momentarily blinded by the flurry of paper and socks, not to mention suitcases, in his face, stumbled to the ground. Claudio, on the other hand, was already crashing through the door on the opposite side of the room. However within a few moments Inspector Alessandro was able to regain his footing and composure and immediately began to give chase. Claudio was of course, running for his life, or rather, waddling for his life as he huffed his way down the hallway and cut into a bathroom. However as he slammed the door shut behind him and turned around, seeing the squatter and such, he was at a lose as to why he entered this room and didn’t keep running. There must be a way out or else I’m done for, he thought frantically, his beady eyes searching around the dingy little room until they settled on a window. He immediately moved towards it and went about the cumbersome task of pulling himself up and through the window, which was rather small, and perhaps to small. Claudio’s labored breaths echoed through the room as he pushed is pudgy form through the small window, squeezing himself through. Inch by inch he wiggled and wobbled through the window until he was half way through when suddenly he could move no more. He was stuck, utterly and absolutely stuck. His upper half lay poking out into the rather busy street, while his lower half lay still wiggling about in the bathroom where Inspector Alessandro discovered them moments latter as he broke open the bathroom door.
Now to the people walking along the street this was perhaps the most odd and quite amusing site they had ever seen as most of them stopped to look. All the while, Claudio, red-faced and sweating, still continued to try to free himself from the window. Inspector Alessandro however was not as amused as the people on the street who were now gathering around the “amusing fat man stuck in a window”. He knew that this would me he would have to pull Claudio de Luca out of the window. This of course would be a task of epic proportions as Claudio refused to give up and continued to wedge himself more and more firmly into the window, much to Inspector Alessandro’s frustration.
“Signore Claudio de Luca” Inspector Alessandro said rather dryly as he tried to grab hold of Claudio’s thrashing legs “as Inspector for Section 9 I am placing you under arrest for multiple suspected acts of bribery, forgery, fraud and... well stupidity to be perfectly honest”
*Inspector Alessandro, formerly known as Alessandro Pino Lombardi, legal changed his name to Inspector Alessandro (Alessandro being his last name) after being inducted into the special investigation sector, Section 9 created in 1901. He was formerly a detective for the Rome police force for 11 years.
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