Sorry I didn't get this finished last night...the war turns took a really long time to play, especially when I ended up at war with half the world. Maybe I should be more careful what I wish for.
Oh, and true to my prediction, I generated exactly
zero leaders on my turns.
Instead of giving a turn-by-turn account, I'll just summarize what happened on the various fronts.
The western front
Well, as it turned out, Montezuma was the lucky winner of the "who wants to be a dead AI?" contest - he (1) signed peace with the Celts on my first turn and (2) built Bach's Cathedral in one of his border towns (Calixtlahuaca) on my second turn. That's
really asking for it.
So, after a couple of turns of moving our forces into position, I declared war. I signed alliances with both the Arabs and Babylonians, just to give them something to do. Unfortunately, the front with the Aztecs is very narrow, and the terrain is bad, so the campaign was a bit slow at first (and a big traffic jam caused by allied units didn't help matters any).
It's picking up steam now, though - I managed to capture a total of six cities, deprived the Aztecs of their only source of horses (no more cavalry for you, Monty!), and when Teotihuacan falls in another couple of turns, the Aztecs will lose their only source of saltpeter, which should speed things up a bit.
The eastern front
The forces we had assembled near the Egyptian border looked sufficient to me, so on my first turn, I dialed up Cleo and informed her that this planet just isn't big enough for...well, anybody but us, really. The campaign took most of my turns (I was probably a little more conservative than I needed to be), but Egypt is now nothing more than a memory.
During the campaign, we captured the Hanging Gardens in Thebes. That, combined with Bach's cathedral, and our
seven luxuries, should mean that we won't have to worry about war weariness too much. Now that I think about it, we can probably turn down the lux slider...I think it's still at 10%.
The...northern front?
Two-front wars are for wimps.
Halfway through my turns, the Aztecs talked Russia into declaring war on us, which caught me completely by surprise.

This was somewhat convenient, since Russia was going to be next on the menu anyway, but unfortunately, our defenses along the Russian frontier were very weak, and Cathy had enough longbows to overrun a couple of our tiny border cities before I could get enough cavalry in to secure the area.
I've finally assembled enough cavalry to start the counteroffensive, taking Murmansk on my last turn, and the forces from the Egyptian campaign are just reaching the front lines, so hopefully the situation should turn around soon. There is a moderately sizable group of Russian longbows toward the west, but hopefully nothing we can't deal with.
Notes
There's a volcano in China that's about to erupt (went active on my last turn), and I think there might be a worker next to it that I forgot to move away, so next player please take a look at that.
We have a few settlers wandering around - there are three or so near the Russian border, waiting for our military to arrive and clear out some space, and a couple headed to the western front.
I didn't have a single Celtic city flip on me all turn. I think there might still be a city or two in resistance, though - they really don't seem to like us, for some reason... I also had to deal with a mighty attack force (OK, it was just one warrior) that a Celtic galley dropped off on our coast. So don't move all of our forces out of the area.
Here's the current situation on the Aztec front:
Roster:
Admiral Kutzov - up!
eldar - waiting for his turn to hit something
dman
Mach
Tubby Rower
Minute Man - just played
Have fun, Admiral. You have seven turns to equal our time from the last game.
