Uh oh....THEY'RE ON TO Me (The Funny Scam Emails thread)

[GoodGame]

Post your funny scam emails from your Junk folder (REAL or IMAGINARY):



This one is really so transparent and creative at the same, that I LOL'd.

I sure hope that Canada doesn't send a hit squad after me!

Spoiler :

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION FBI HEADQUARTERS WASHINGTON,
D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
7/9/2011



BANK OF NIGERIA TRANSFERRED 10,500,000.00 US DOLLARS TO BANK OF AMERICA IN YOUR FAVOR AS THE BENEFICIARY BY
INHERITANCE MEANS. BANK OF NIGERIA USED WHAT WE CALL 鉄ECRET DIPLOMATIC TRANSIT PAYMENT・S.D.T.P METHOD TO PAY THIS
FUND BY WIRE TRANSFER. SECRET DIPLOMATIC PAYMENTS ARE NOT MADE UNLESS THE FUNDS ARE RELATED TO TERRORIST ACTIVITIES.


THE QUESTION I ASK YOU IS THIS, WHY MUST YOUR PAYMENT BE MADE IN A SECRET TRANSFER, IF THE TRANSACTION IS
LEGITIMATE, IF YOU ARE NOT A TERRORIST, THEN WHY DID YOU NOT RECEIVE THE MONEY DIRECTLY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT? WHY DID
YOU INSTRUCT THEM TO USE A CODED MEANS TO TRANSFER YOUR FUND? FUNDS LIKE THIS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN RELATED TO TERRORIST
ACTIVITIES/MONEY LAUNDERING, WE DO NOT WANT YOU TO GET INTO TROUBLE AS SOON AS THESE FUNDS ARE CREDITED INTO YOUR
ACCOUNT BECAUSE YOU MIGHT BE INNOCENT, WHICH IS MY PRESUMPTION FOR NOW, BUT YOU NEED TO PROOF THIS TO THE FBI.


F.B.I STOPPED THE TRANSFER OF $10,500,000.00 USD THROUGH A SECRET DIPLOMATIC TRANSIT ACCOUNT (S.D.T.A) THAT WAS USED
TO WIRE THIS FUND TO YOU. WE ADVICE YOU TO CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY, AS YOUR FUNDS ARE STOPPED AND HELD
IN OUR CUSTODY, YOU ARE TO PROVIDE US WITH THE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL OF TRANSFER (DIST) DOCUMENT THAT ACCOMPANIED
YOU坦E FUNDS WITHIN THE NEXT 3 DAYS.


TO PROOF TO US THAT THE FUNDS YOU ARE RECEIVING FROM NIGERIA IS TERRORIST/DRUG FREE AND NOT PROCEEDS FROM MONEY
LAUNDERING. FAILURE TO PRODUCE THE DIST DOCUMENT, WE SHALL IMPOUND THE TRANSFER AND PROSECUTE YOU FOR CRIMINAL
OFFENSE, BUT ON THE CONTRARY YOUR FUNDS WILL BE RELEASED TO IMMEDIATELY WE RECEIVE THE DIST DOCUMENT. WE
HAVE DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU DIRECTLY BY EMAIL BECAUSE OF TIME AND YOUR PHONE NUMBER HERE ISN探 GOING THROUGH,
ACQUIRE THE DIST DOCUMENT AS PROOF THAT YOU ARE THE RIGHTFUL BENEFICIARY,


THE DIST IS VERY IMPORTANT BECAUSE THE DIST DOCUMENT GUARANTEES YOU OF THE FOLLOWING

60T YOUR CREDIT PAYMENT IS IRREVOCABLE

61H YOU ARE EMPOWERED TO RECEIVE THE FUNDS WITHOUT FURTHER SCRUTINY

62J YOUR BANK CAN EITHER BE IN USA/UK/OUTSIDE OR ANYWHERE YOU ARE HAVING FULL RESIDENCY

REPLY IMMEDIATELY WITH THIS DIST DOCUMENT IF YOU WANT TO RECEIVE YOUR TRANSFERRED FUNDS WE INTERCEPTED






ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535

CC CANADIAN POLICE ASSOCIATION
CC GENERAL INTELLIGENCE DEPARTMENT (GID)
CC ASIA PACIFIC GROUP ON MONEY LAUNDERING (APG)
CC INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND (IMF)
CC INTERNATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF SECURITIES COMMISSIONS (IOSCO)
CC ECONOMIC FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC)

 

[Truthy]

I was contacted by a Jamaican man who informed me that I had won 1.5 million dollars. I asked him why I had won the money and he told me it was for being a "model citizen". All I needed to do to claim my money was to give him my credit card.

 

[classical_hero]

I remember receiving an email very similar to that one. I still have not been able to collect my winnings.

 

[reddishrecue]

These e-mails appear often in my yahoo account, there was one of them that has the writer noticing 3 deposits to a bank account.

 

[GoodGame]

These e-mails appear often in my yahoo account, there was one of them that has the writer noticing 3 deposits to a bank account.

Yeah, amazingly they always involve either money, or verification of your identity through email.


This one was kind of funny:

Spoiler :

For Your kind Attention‏

4:55 AM
Reply ▼

Standard Chartered Bank

Add to contacts
From: Standard Chartered Bank (generalmanagercbank.uk@gmail.com)
Sent: Sat 7/16/11 4:55 AM
To:
This message is here because your junk email filter is set to exclusive.
Wait, it's safe!

FOREIGN OPERATIONS MANAGER
STANDARD CHARTERED BANK
COOPERATE HEAD OFFICE
1 BASING-HALL AVENUE
LONDON-EC2V 5DD.
E-MAIL: GENERALMANAGER@STANDARDCHARTEREDBA-NK.COM
CONTACT PHONE: +44-770-001-7662

OUR REF: ON72071-SC-BANK/LONDON
YOUR REF: SCB-UK/UN/02-2011

ACTING ON OUR CAPACITY AS THE INTERNATIONAL CORRESPONDENT BANK TO THE INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND ORGANIZATION, THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY NOTIFY YOU THAT WE HAVE RECEIVED A CONFIRMATION ADVICE FROM THE INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUNDS EXTERNAL AUDITORS COMMITTEE, WORLD BANK, UNITED NATIONS ORGANIZATION AND THE FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION OF AMERICA COLLECTIVELY VIA INTERNATIONAL PAYMENT VOUCHER NUMBER: IMF/FRBWDC/BOA-93WB82UN567-G REQUESTING THE STANDARD CHARTERED BANK MANAGEMENT, A SUBSIDIARY OF THE FEDERAL RESERVE BANK OF AMERICA TO DISBURSE YOUR DUE INHERITANCE PAYMENT VALUED AT FOUR MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS (US4.5M) IN YOUR FAVOR VIA AUTOMATED TELLER MACHINE/ONLINE TRANSFER SYSTEM.

IN CONSIDERATION OF THE ABOVE, YOU HAVE BEEN ISSUED WITH THIS EXCLUSIVE REFERENCE IDENTIFICATION NUMBER (IMF/FRB-NY/9USXX10751/09), VIDE TRANSACTION NO.: WHA/EUR/202 AND TRANSFER ALLOCATION NO.: FRB/X44/701LN/NYC/US, PASSWORD: 339331, PIN CODE: 78569, CERTIFICATE OF MERIT NO: 104, RELEASE CODE NO: 0876; IMMEDIATE SCB TELEX CONFIRMATION NO: -222568; SECRET CODE: XXTN014. HAVING RECEIVED THESE VITAL PAYMENT NUMBERS, YOU ARE INSTANTLY QUALIFIED TO RECEIVE AND CONFIRM YOUR PAYMENT ON/BEFORE THE NEXT SEVEN BANKING DAYS(7) DAYS. AS NECESSARY CLEARANCE HAS BEEN GRANTED FROM THE INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUNDS EXTERNAL AUDITORS TO RELEASE THE FUNDS TO YOU WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT.

IN VIEW OF THIS DIRECTIVE RECEIVED FROM THE INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUNDS (IMF), WE HAVE ON OUR OWN PART VERIFIED YOUR PAYMENT FILE AS DIRECTED TO US, AND YOUR NAME IS NEXT ON THE LIST OF OUTSTANDING FUND BENEFICIARIES TO RECEIVE THEIR PAYMENT ON THIS FIRST QUARTER OF THE YEAR 2011. HAVEN SAID THIS, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO URGENTLY AND DILIGENTLY COMPLETE THE PAYMENT FORM ATTACHED HEREWITH.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

MR. WILLIAM BLATTNER.
GENERAL MANGER: OPERATIONS.
FOR: STANDARD CHARTERED BANK.

CC: WORLD BANK
CC: FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION
CC: UNITED NATIONS ORGANIZATION
CC: INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUNDS

So the Federal Reserve is a subsidiary of the IMF, AND has personal accounts in Your_Name? And they directly control family inheiritance?

 

[_random_]

Here is a very funny conversation with a scammer. Beware of naughty language. The rest of the blog is similar stuff.

 

[GoodGame]

Lulz, pretty illogical in a couple of ways:

Greetings to you,

How are you today? Hope all is well with you and your family? I hope this Notification mail meets you in a perfect condition. I am Sen. David. B. Mark, This is to Notify you that I have written a Cheque of $850,000.00USD (EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND UNITED STATE DOLLARS) on your behalf.

Just last month, I had a business contract of about 50,000,000.00USD (FIFTY MILLION USD), which has successfully been completed by the Grace of God, Why am doing this is because, before this transaction I said to myself that if this transaction should work out successfully like it has, That I will give to at least 10 Individuals that the Lord will lead me to $850,000.00USD Each.

My Dear Friend, you are lucky and should be Grateful to God that I was directed by his grace to include yourself in my given out of Funds to fulfill and to keep to my Word. I have authorized the finance house where I deposited my money to issue you an International certified bank draft cashable at your bank.
My dear friend I will like you to contact the finance house for the collection of this international certificated bank draft. The name and contact address of the Person with your Cheque is Mr. Andre Dawson.

HEAD OFFICE AND FINACIAL
CONTACT
AGENT: Mr. Andre Dawson
EMAIL: dawsonandre@yahoo.cn

At the moment, I am very busy here because of the investment projects which I And my new partner is having at hand in the United Kingdom.

Below is my contact information in the United Kingdom in case you want to Verify or get any confirmation from me but I want you to be rest assured that Your bank draft will be cashed at you nominated Bank.

Name: Sen. David. B. Mark
http://www.nass.gov.ng/nass/portfolio/profile.php?id=sen.david.mark

Finally, remember that I have forwarded instruction to the finance house on our behalf to send the bank draft to you as soon as you contact them without Delay. Please I will like you to accept this token with good faith as this is from the bottom of my heart. Thanks and God bless you and your family.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Yours Faithfully,
Sen. David. B. Mark

His website, http://www.nass.usda.gov/ is the USA's National Agricultural Statistics Service, but he claims to be a "Senator" in the UK on a financial mission from God.

 

[Graceheart the Leopard]

Here is a very funny conversation with a scammer. Beware of naughty language. The rest of the blog is similar stuff.

100020 shall rise again!

 

[mechaerik]

Here is a very funny conversation with a scammer. Beware of naughty language. The rest of the blog is similar stuff.

There's also the p-p-p-powerbook!

 

[Yeekim]

To us, these letters now arrive Google-translated into Estonian, which usually renders them nearly incomprehensible but still devilishly funny. Unfortunately, that humor would be mostly lost on an English-language forum.