What are you still embarrassed over today, that wasn't even a big deal?

[Synobun]

You're laying in bed.

Sleep is eluding you.

Why?

Because you're thinking about something that embarrassed you fifteen years ago.

It wasn't even a big deal. Nobody remembers it except you. But you remember it, and it haunts you still.

What happened?

 

[Timsup2nothin]

You're laying in bed.

Sleep is eluding you.

Why?

Because you're thinking about something that embarrassed you fifteen years ago.

It wasn't even a big deal. Nobody remembers it except you. But you remember it, and it haunts you still.

What happened?

I'm what now?

I'm haunted by things I didn't do, not things I did.

 

[Synobun]

When I was 14, I said "yes" to a girl I had been dancing closely with all night when she asked me if I had a girlfriend. I had ended my relationship earlier so I was very single.

She never spoke to me again.

I'm what now?

I'm haunted by things I didn't do, not things I did.

Then what are you doing in this thread?

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Then what are you doing in this thread?

Well, I came to see what it was about, out of respect for you.

 

[Synobun]

There's your first mistake, respecting me. Rookie move, Tim.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

There's your first mistake, respecting me. Rookie move, Tim.

I'll disrespect you later to make up for it.

 

[Gori the Grey]

I went to a discussion session on the novel 1984 in 1984. I hadn't finished re-reading the novel, and I made a comment that, had I finished the novel, I'd have known was misguided.

The discussion moderator politely tried to make something of my comment, even though he clearly knew (as I came to realize once I did finish rereading the novel) it was off base.

 

[warpus]

I get anxiety, so I am embarrassed about all sorts of social situations all the time. It's always small things, and I usually get the anxiety following the exchange, and not during. I'll think back to the social interactions of the day and think: "Hmm I bet they think I'm a moron". This happens whether I want it to happen or not, so sometimes I just end up in a crappy mood because all these recent social exchanges are weighing down on me.

It's never stuff from years ago though, or even months. Just stuff that happened in the last 2 days or so

It's weird because I'm now perfectly comfortable being in a completely awkward and/or embarrassing situation, when it's unfolding. I've been through so many of these I just don't care. I'll see people around me squirming, obviously not having a great time being a part of the uncomfortable moment, but.. it doesn't affect me.. but what will affect me is an email I sent, and I think back to it 4 hours later, and for whatever reason overthink it and my brain keeps telling me that I made a fool of myself. I have no idea why this happens, but I guess it's why I get anxiety

I don't even understand how situations in the now can be so normal to me and so awkward to everybody else.. but then such small things will make me feel awkward hours after the fact

Whoever designed my brain is pretty much a moron or a jerk

 

[Synobun]

I went to a discussion session on the novel 1984 in 1984. I hadn't finished re-reading the novel, and I made a comment that, had I finished the novel, I'd have known was misguided.

The discussion moderator politely tried to make something of my comment, even though he clearly knew (as I came to realize once I did finish rereading the novel) it was off base.

Dang, dude. That's 34 years ago. Kudos.

 

[civvver]

I'm what now?

I'm haunted by things I didn't do, not things I did.

Same, most of the stuff I've done doesn't really bug me that much.

I guess two things, one I had a scholarship for college so I could sign up and drop classes without financial repercussions cus I wasn't paying for them. To graduate was 120 credits, or basically 15 a semester, 8 semesters. The problem was the credit hours per course weren't proportional to the amount of work you actually had to do- many 4 credit math and computer courses took me a lot less time than 3 credit literature courses for example cus reading is time consuming. I hated taking more than four courses at a time, so most semesters I did 13 or 14 credits. A few I did more, a few only 12. In the end I was four classes short so I had to do summer term. Oh well no biggie right? Well except that my scholarship was limited to 8 semesters so I had to pay for my summer term, to the tune of about $7,000. Not a huge deal in the long run except that I literally bought shares of master card stock right after the ipo in 2006 (the year I graduated). It's split a few times since then, but it was the equivalent of $5 a share and now it's $190+. I invested like a couple grand, but had I not had to pay for summer term I would've put a lot more in. Of course stupid me I sold it for like triple a year later instead of holding!

The other one was same year, I was really stressed out about finishing my senior project and graduating and I was house sitting for some people I really didn't know well but their regular house sitting broke her foot. Well of course like an idiot I found the liquor cabinet, got stupid drunk and threw up all over their shower. Thankfully it was all contained to the shower. But I had to call my mom to help clean it up cus they were coming home the next day and I was a mess. Thankfully she has never brought it up since.

I guess something recent, I suspect I purchased alcohol for some people who couldn't purchase it for themselves if you catch my drift, but I don't know for sure. At an outside bar with a live band outside, this couple already had beers in their hands, and they told me hey would you get us four more. I thought oh that's nice they must want to buy a round for me and my wife. So I went and bought four beers and when I came back the guy tried to take all four of them. I was like hey give one to my wife and he did, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't buying us a round lol. It was quite embarrassing and we left pretty soon. I just felt dumb for being gullible. Though like I said, they already had drinks in their hands.

 

[GoodEnoughForMe]

I went to a high school with a lot of black people, and I quickly learned as a freshman that if I didn't know how to do a black handshake, I would be endlessly mocked. So a kid named Nick ran me through it a couple times, and that was basically how anyone, white, black, latinx, greeted each other at school if handshaking was part of it.

Anyways, fast forward several years to my first year at college here in town. It's the midnight release at Gamestop of Super Smash Bros Brawl on the Wii. Wandering around the store after being let in, me and a former high school classmate of mine, Andy, saw each other from across the store. We approached and I jokingly asked if he was here for some crappy game I can't recall, and he said yep sarcastically, and at the same time, reached out to shake my hand. Given he was from the same high school, I went it for a black handshake, but he went for a white one, and what ended up happening was me giving the most awkward, weird ass handshake of my life, that I'm sure he had no idea what was about.

I think about this a lot.

 

[Broken_Erika]

You're laying in bed.

Sleep is eluding you.

Why?

Because you're thinking about something that embarrassed you fifteen years ago.

It wasn't even a big deal. Nobody remembers it except you. But you remember it, and it haunts you still.

What happened?

I don't want to talk about it!

 

[Synobun]

You should talk about it. You're amongst friends.

Okay, okay.

You're amongst distant acquaintances.

 

[Gori the Grey]

Dang, dude. That's 34 years ago. Kudos.

Yeah, to be honest, I haven't thought about it in a while.* It took the thread topic to bring it back into memory. But still, that's the memory that came instantly back into mind at the thread's prompt.

*and it's never kept me up at night; only four times in my life have I not been able to fall asleep because of the anxiety associated with some rumination.

 

[Narz]

I'm what now?

I'm haunted by things I didn't do, not things I did.

That seems to be the trend (people on their deathbeds regret more what was left undone). I have a lot of regret/embarssment over both did's and didn'ts

 

[Synobun]

Most of my didn'ts are connected to my dids.

 

[Kyriakos]

Dang, dude. That's 34 years ago. Kudos.

Well, yes; you aren't the only one who has stuff lingering from the past; though Gori's was very anodyne, so imo he cheated

I have a few, even from elementary school. Not that i actively feel something due to them, but i do recall them.
And while i won't write any here, i can note that i have written (literally) thousands of pages on stuff from elementary school.

Anyway, so as to not cheat myself, here is one:

When i was 9, i became friends with another boy in the neighbourhood. I once tried to steal one of his toys (it was part of a Zoid; probably the Stegosaurus; i had the same model, but that part had broken in mine). I tried to steal it by (rather ridiculously) asking his mother to allow me back to his room when he had left, supposedly because i had forgotten something. Ok. Would have been a decent attempt - if not done 3 times in a row. She ended up offering to give me any toy i wanted, just to keep me out. I felt really bad

 

[Berzerker]

I went to a high school with a lot of black people, and I quickly learned as a freshman that if I didn't know how to do a black handshake, I would be endlessly mocked. So a kid named Nick ran me through it a couple times, and that was basically how anyone, white, black, latinx, greeted each other at school if handshaking was part of it.

Anyways, fast forward several years to my first year at college here in town. It's the midnight release at Gamestop of Super Smash Bros Brawl on the Wii. Wandering around the store after being let in, me and a former high school classmate of mine, Andy, saw each other from across the store. We approached and I jokingly asked if he was here for some crappy game I can't recall, and he said yep sarcastically, and at the same time, reached out to shake my hand. Given he was from the same high school, I went it for a black handshake, but he went for a white one, and what ended up happening was me giving the most awkward, weird ass handshake of my life, that I'm sure he had no idea what was about.

I think about this a lot.

The problem is once you get the handshake down it gets changed because black people are staying one step ahead of white people and our cultural appropriation

actually I have to correct that... a golfing buddy of mine got a job down at a pair of nice courses (he teaches golf) in Scottsdale and he came back for Mother's Day and gave me the old simpler handshake I learned 40 years ago from the black kids

 

[Gori the Grey]

though Gori's was very anodyne, so imo he cheated

Don't they have to be anodyne, given the second half of the thread title?

 

[Kyriakos]

Don't they have to be anodyne, given the second half of the thread title?

Yet in the OP that is taken to mean "weren't a big deal to others". Although the one i noted seemed to be somewhat of a big deal to the boy's mother, at any rate ^_^