What would you change?

[Moggy]

I am sure that this thread must have been done before but have been unable to find anything.

Lets forget any science for the basis of this topic and pretend that a mad scientist has just given you a time machine (or parallel world transporter if you are worried about creating a paradox) and lets you get on with it. The only flaws are that you cannot visit the future (only backwards in time), you cant take any modern weaponry/equipment with you and you can only use the machine once (you do however get a return trip).

Where (or should that be when!) would you go, what would you do and would you change anything? What do you think would be the effects of your meddling in the past?

 

[amadeus]

I would stop the younger Biff from getting the Sports Almanac.

 

[LightSpectra]

I install Emperor Norton as Orwellian dictator of earth.

With Rod Blagojevich as his vice emperor.

 

[Warhead5654]

i would get our land back, and tell my fellows not to drink away their land.
up in North america.

 

[RedRalph]

I think I'd probably try and save Lenin somehow

 

[Dachs]

I'd get rid of Eucratides. Also probably Vytautas.

 

[Dodge_272]

I'd go back to yesterday and not eat that dodgy sausage sarnie.

Seriously, my bowels have been in a perpetual state of chaos ever since.

 

[Dachs]

I picked up a few PoDs that I built timelines off of:

-Prevent Eumenes of Cardia from gathering his army again prior to the Battle of Gabiene
-Have Justinian concentrate on his eastern front instead of the western one (make the Ostrogoths into Western Emperors! )
-Have Mustafa Kemal get shot when he was leading that nutty charge up the hill at Gallipoli
-Get Basil II a fertile wife
-Tell Meade to pursue the Confederate forces after the unsuccessful Pickett's Charge

 

[Kal'thzar]

memorise some secrets only know to a few, then some really indepth knowledge about the future and how to abuse it.

The first to gain trust/acceptance the second to get powerfull


basically...

 

[carmen510]

Bring Hitler, Stalin, Lenin, Mao, Lincoln, Washington, Napoleon, Mussolini, Queen Elizabeth, Pericles, Socrates, Karl Marx, Alexander the Great, Augustus, and a few other world leaders and philosophers, and give them universal translators. Then, I would lock them all up in one room and see them debate. And see if they kill eachother or not. Afterwards, I would shoot Hitler and Stalin.

 

[EnlightenmentHK]

I picked up a few PoDs that I built timelines off of:

-Prevent Eumenes of Cardia from gathering his army again prior to the Battle of Gabiene
-Have Justinian concentrate on his eastern front instead of the western one (make the Ostrogoths into Western Emperors! )
-Have Mustafa Kemal get shot when he was leading that nutty charge up the hill at Gallipoli
-Get Basil II a fertile wife
-Tell Meade to pursue the Confederate forces after the unsuccessful Pickett's Charge

All well and good, but how are you gonna get to Justinian, Kemal, Basil or Eumenes? You most likely don't speak the language, you're noone of significance, just some random, well kept peasant with strange cloths and an odd accent. Emperors generally don't give audiences to random weirdos.

In either case, no reason to mess with global history. It turned out the way it turned out. And in most cases, even traveling back in time with useful knowledge, you're not gonna be able to get yourself into a position to use it. I mean I can call the FBI and tell them that someone's gonna take a shot at JFK in Dallas, but are they really gonna believe it and take precautions? I'd probably just get arrested for my troubles.

Maybe you can stop some of these things, but you're not doing it with a wave of your hand. Myself, I'd skip the major events and go for personal enrichment. Hit an area shortly pre-gold Rush, California maybe, and collect all I can than bury it somewhere that I know goes undeveloped and dig it up on my return trip. Or bring a sports almanac and go that route.

 

[Dachs]

All well and good, but how are you gonna get to Justinian, Kemal, Basil or Eumenes? You most likely don't speak the language, you're noone of significance, just some random, well kept peasant with strange cloths and an odd accent. Emperors generally don't give audiences to random weirdos.

In either case, no reason to mess with global history. It turned out the way it turned out. And in most cases, even traveling back in time with useful knowledge, you're not gonna be able to get yourself into a position to use it. I mean I can call the FBI and tell them that someone's gonna take a shot at JFK in Dallas, but are they really gonna believe it and take precautions? I'd probably just get arrested for my troubles.

Maybe you can stop some of these things, but you're not doing it with a wave of your hand. Myself, I'd skip the major events and go for personal enrichment. Hit an area shortly pre-gold Rush, California maybe, and collect all I can than bury it somewhere that I know goes undeveloped and dig it up on my return trip. Or bring a sports almanac and go that route.

Since this was such an absurd topic, I figured absurd answers would be somewhat appropriate.

 

[EnlightenmentHK]

Since this was such an absurd topic, I figured absurd answers would be somewhat appropriate.

Heh, nearly every topic in World History is an absurd one. 90% of them are what-if counter-factuals that real historians scoff at on general principle. And the rest of them are the history equivalent of a favorite movies list.

 

[Dachs]

Heh, nearly every topic in World History is an absurd one. 90% of them are what-if counter-factuals that real historians scoff at on general principle. And the rest of them are the history equivalent of a favorite movies list.

Not anymore, now the favorite movies list type stuff is the 90% and the bad alternate history is the rest.

 

[Bestbank Tiger]

I mean I can call the FBI and tell them that someone's gonna take a shot at JFK in Dallas, but are they really gonna believe it and take precautions? I'd probably just get arrested for my troubles.

Especially since the FBI was in on it

 

[Luckymoose]

I would give McCain the win in 2008.

 

[Plotinus]

I'd persuade the people who designed the Californian ballot papers in 2000 to have a really good think about redesigning them.

 

[Masada]

It would be lulsome to give the Kīngitanga (Maori Kings Movement) a supply of cannon balls during the Maori Land Wars. The Mere Mere line would have made a serious mess of British Imperial and Colonial troops and possibly allowed for a one-nation two-states solution to New Zealand.

I would be fine I can speak the lingo, look the part, don't need to dress the part and would only need to bring a couple of tonnes of gear

 

[Arwon]

I'd go back to the Big Bang and fix things so that entropy works in the other direction somehow.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Assuming I actually have the power to do anything . . .

I might somehow force Britain and France into supporting an Arab state instead of just carving up the spoils of the former Ottoman Empire. I would then tell the Arabs that in exchange for my support, they would have to make a separate province in Palestine. I would then tell the Zionist leaders of Europe that they were going to have to buy up land from the Palestinians, pay to relocate them elsewhere in Arabia, and finance the resettlement of Jews in Palestine. And do it fast, you only have about 20 years.

Assuming I don't just go with the obvious and shoot Hitler like everyone else.