Narz
keeping it real
Oh yeah. Forgot about that one. I think I'd rather watch daytime TV then sit thru that one again.... actually no, that's a bit extreme.CurtSibling said:
Which is the worst movie ever?
- Thread starter Garbarsardar.jr
- Start date
Suppersalmon
Think Safely think again
Underworld was one of the worst ive ever seen
Garbarsardar.jr
subtitled
Fool! Plan 9 from outer space(original title:Grave robbers from outer space), is the greatest Science fiction movie ever.If there was a way to compare this movie with a Rocket ship the said rocketship would be orbiting the Moon while Plan9 would be in the outskirts of Jupiter.If there was a way to compare this movie to peanut butter the result would be exactly the same.Fool!If you had scales the size of a very big thing and you could put a very heavy thing on the one and Plan9 on the other the result again would be of similar magnitude.And if you consider this argument carefully and study it for the rest of your miserable life-especially the scales part-you will realize how insulting it was.I mean if you could put this argument on a scale and a very big thing made of something in an awesome quantity on the other scale still you would replicate the results with accuracy.
I hope that we'll teach you a lesson.
Akka
Moody old mage.
Oh, and don't forget Wild Wild West either.
A monument of boredom and lame attempt at so-called "humor".
Excruciating ordeal to watch it from start to end.
A monument of boredom and lame attempt at so-called "humor".
Excruciating ordeal to watch it from start to end.
yaroslav
Emperor
The worst movie I've always seen is "Druids".....
Garbarsardar.jr
subtitled
Druids...right. I mean you really saw the whole movie?
And here's a nice review couetesy of my friend anyone's-a-critic:
Now I'm a great fan of historical epics, and I am willing to forgive a lot of historical inaccuracies in the name of cinematic expediency, especially with regard to a Celtic hero like Vercingetorix. However, as with all truly bad films, this film really can't decide what it wants to be. It makes a game attempt at historical accuracy (at least history according to Ceasar which is all we have to go on) by portraying Vercingetorix as someone who is willing to deal with the enemy then betray them, and there are some scenes such as the breast-baring women distracting the Romans which have a basis in writings of the time. OK - I'd be willing to forgive the historically inaccurate (and very un-scary) German connection until... ...we see Vercingetorix chatting with busty druidesses and gaining a magic sword and magic powers which he proceeds to twirl around faster than is humanly possible. Err, OK - so it wants to be a fantasy film. In which case why set it in a real historical time period with so many real events to build off - just go all out like Conan and be done with it. I mean - if he has magical power he should win at the end right?
The film proceeds to both destroy history and ruin one's enjoyment of all fantasy films with ruthless efficiency. So thats the screenplay written off, but perhaps it can be saved by some good performances?
Lambert. Never before has there been an actor made entirely of wood. Does this man have more than one facial expression carved on his trunk? Ceasar was passable, but lets face it, if he wants to make a name for himself by playing famous Romans he is in for a long wait for that phone call. The rest of the cast act like, and probably are, extras. Good for them for getting some face time I say.
OK - so the screenplay and acting are garbage. Perhaps the action and/or special effects can save the film. Err. No. Sorry. Joan of Arc and Gladiator-style battle scenes this does not have. I'm willing to even cut it some slack for its obviously low budget, but even taking that into account its a non-starter.
When you truly feel you could have made a better film with claymation figures and a shoebox camera then something is very very wrong indeed. However that is not the end of it. The awful, choppy editing and lack of timing and pacing combined with everything else makes for a truly painful viewing experience, one of the worst in my living memory. It is this which turns a merely bland and boring film into a bottom-100 dweller.
If the real Vercingetorix saw this he'd fall on his sword. Nul points as they say at Eurovision.
And here's a nice review couetesy of my friend anyone's-a-critic:
Now I'm a great fan of historical epics, and I am willing to forgive a lot of historical inaccuracies in the name of cinematic expediency, especially with regard to a Celtic hero like Vercingetorix. However, as with all truly bad films, this film really can't decide what it wants to be. It makes a game attempt at historical accuracy (at least history according to Ceasar which is all we have to go on) by portraying Vercingetorix as someone who is willing to deal with the enemy then betray them, and there are some scenes such as the breast-baring women distracting the Romans which have a basis in writings of the time. OK - I'd be willing to forgive the historically inaccurate (and very un-scary) German connection until... ...we see Vercingetorix chatting with busty druidesses and gaining a magic sword and magic powers which he proceeds to twirl around faster than is humanly possible. Err, OK - so it wants to be a fantasy film. In which case why set it in a real historical time period with so many real events to build off - just go all out like Conan and be done with it. I mean - if he has magical power he should win at the end right?
The film proceeds to both destroy history and ruin one's enjoyment of all fantasy films with ruthless efficiency. So thats the screenplay written off, but perhaps it can be saved by some good performances?
Lambert. Never before has there been an actor made entirely of wood. Does this man have more than one facial expression carved on his trunk? Ceasar was passable, but lets face it, if he wants to make a name for himself by playing famous Romans he is in for a long wait for that phone call. The rest of the cast act like, and probably are, extras. Good for them for getting some face time I say.
OK - so the screenplay and acting are garbage. Perhaps the action and/or special effects can save the film. Err. No. Sorry. Joan of Arc and Gladiator-style battle scenes this does not have. I'm willing to even cut it some slack for its obviously low budget, but even taking that into account its a non-starter.
When you truly feel you could have made a better film with claymation figures and a shoebox camera then something is very very wrong indeed. However that is not the end of it. The awful, choppy editing and lack of timing and pacing combined with everything else makes for a truly painful viewing experience, one of the worst in my living memory. It is this which turns a merely bland and boring film into a bottom-100 dweller.
If the real Vercingetorix saw this he'd fall on his sword. Nul points as they say at Eurovision.
test_specimen
hope lost
- Joined
- May 20, 2002
- Messages
- 2,200
I wonder why Klaus Maria Brandauer accepted the role of Cesar in "Vercingetorix/Druids", he usually is a quite good actor. But sometimes he just makes bad career decisions. He also chose to play in one of the worse James Bond movies ("Never Say Never Again") but has his perfomance in "Mephisto" (directed by Istvan Szabo) on the good side. He has a good voice and should really get some better roles offered.
And any movie with Lambert.... you should really know in advance that it will suck. Basically you can avoid any movie he stars in, except Subway and Highlander, Highlander is too overrated anyway.
Plan 9 from Outer Space - I haven't found it that bad. If you watch some TV-show, they mostly have plots that are less believable and worse acted. What's good about the movie is the aura of the worst movie ever. If you expect it to suck, you will be surprised positively. At least it's no bore.
And any movie with Lambert.... you should really know in advance that it will suck. Basically you can avoid any movie he stars in, except Subway and Highlander, Highlander is too overrated anyway.
Plan 9 from Outer Space - I haven't found it that bad. If you watch some TV-show, they mostly have plots that are less believable and worse acted. What's good about the movie is the aura of the worst movie ever. If you expect it to suck, you will be surprised positively. At least it's no bore.
Akka
Moody old mage.
And Greystoke.test_specimen said:
Stefan Haertel
Title
Right, I saw about ten minutes and a trailer for "Druids" (it's known as "Vercingetorix" here). Caesar speaking with Austrian accent did it.
Garbarsardar.jr
subtitled
I think he made 2 or 3 movies with Szabo9-Hanussen?- and he was very good, but there was also a movie called Lightbboat probably with Robert Duvall, which IMHO was an excellent low-key performance...
edit:Lightship.
