You wake up to find yourself not in your house but inside of a velociraptor's stomach. Fortunately, it swallowed you whole and since you are so big, there was no room for anything in the stomach except for you, the toaster, and the mucous lining the stomach--no stomach acid could fit, so you are alive. You shout to the world and the sound travels out of the velociraptor's mouth, thereby being translated into the velociraptor's mother tongue. The claims is that:
"I, the amazing DOMINATION VELOCIRAPTOR, have won a domination victory!"
The other two velociraptors counter with the argument that he won't actually win until 3000 AD and since dinosaurs are still around, that's roughly 66 million years to go. The other two velociraptors then proceed to bite off the arms and legs of the first velociraptor and then push it off of a rocky outcropping that comes as close as possible to serving as a bridge, given then current day and age.
As you, inside of the first velociraptor's stomach, start to pitch into a freefall, all of a sudden, your downward flight is halted. However, soon there are weird noises and pressures all around you, due to the fact that the remainder of the velociraptor's carcass, with you inside of it, were captured midflight and swallowed by a pterodactyl. "Don't these bloody dinosaurs know how to chew?" you think to yourself as a final last ditch effort to keep from focusing on your currently dire plight, in an attempt to avoid descending into insanity.
Of course, it is as that moment that the toaster decides to pop and you get strawberry Pop Tarts slamming you hard in the face. You thereby lose vision in one eye and start skwinking uncontrollably. Fortunately, this skwinking causes ripples throughout the entire velociraptor's carcass, giving you a temporary skwinkination victory. However, this victory is short-lived as the pterodactyl decides to vomit you out, still inside of the velociraptor's stomach.
As you both tumble in freefall, you get sucked inside of a swirling tornado. The tornado was heading directly toward your neighbour's house--your most hated neighbour at that--but due to the weight of the carcass, the toaster, and you, the tornado's path was slightly altered, thereby saving your neighbour's house and sucking up your own.
On the plus side, your entire house, while wiped from the face of the planet, seems to be relatively intact as it swirls about inside of the tornado. The velociraptor's carcass gets whipped against the side of your house by a window and its head sticks through the side of the house by way of the window but the rest of its body won't fit. You manage to scramble out and back into the relative safety of your house. There, you sit down to a nice meal of strawberry Pop Tarts, all the while skwinking uncontrollably, although that effect lessens as time passes. Soon, the tornado sets your house down without much further damage and the velociraptor finally breathes its last breath.
Daring to open your front door, you gaze outside to see that your house has landed on top of mountain, just on the top edge of an active volcanic mountain, to be precise, and the volcano looks like it is only a couple of hours from erupting.
