500 ways you know your computer sucks

[classical_hero]

139. You still back up your computer using magnetic tape.

 

[Truronian]

140. Your start button reads "s‽ar‽"

 

[TheBladeRoden]

141. Your monitor lacks the color depth to display the blue screen of death.

142. Your mouse is, like in the olden days, literally a rodent that manually types in the coordinates for the cursor "x:567 y:024 [enter]"

143. Your keyboard is in cuneiform.

144. The power system requires a constant supply of firewood to keep it chuggin.

145. Your father can use it. (happy father's day! )

 

[Genocidicbunny]

146. The only place you can find upgrades for it is in a computer museum

 

[LLXerxes]

147: The USB port is slightly smaller than the Port of Baltimore

 

[Truronian]

148. The desktop clock must be wound.

 

[The 777 Hoax]

149. You can't run Minesweeper on it.

 

[Sephiroth]

150. it uses one of those old car starters to start up (the ones you had to wind)

 

[Yuri2356]

151) You need industrial-grade ear protection to defend you from your cooling fan.

152) You've just upgraded to vacume tubes.

153) Your main output device is a single LED.

154) You can see the individual switches on your main board...

155) ...from orbit.

156) There's more processing power in the nerves of your pinky than in your entire PC.

 

[BlizzardGR]

157) Your mobile phone has a higher capacity memory than your hard drive.
158) And your mobile phone is more than 10 years old.

 

[steviejay]

159) In order to get it to finished a calculation you have to do a ritual sacrifice to please the Gods

 

[azzaman333]

160. Computer? What computer?

 

[Truronian]

161. It has an aerial.

162. The aerial has bad reception.

163. The internet is accessed through the operator.

 

[BCLG100]

164-your computer consists of little dwarves inside a box-to get word up they bring along a typewriter, to play music they sing you a song, to play FPS's they have finger puppets.

 

[plarq]

165. Your home is full of computer hardwares, in fact, you're going to buy your neighborer's apartment for your computer.

 

[LLXerxes]

166.
Not even the main hardware of you're computer can fit in the area of an LAN game.
167.
There aren't plugs to add any seperate hardware to the computer
168.
Your floppy is half-stuck in the disk drive.

 

[Truronian]

169. You can cook on the processing unit.

 

[steviejay]

170. In order to boot up without over heating you need to have your tower sitting open on your desk and have a house fan blowing air into it as a secondary fan

*mine*

 

[Genocidicbunny]

170. In order to boot up without over heating you need to have your tower sitting open on your desk and have a house fan blowing air into it as a secondary fan

*mine*

171. In order to boot up wihout overheating you designed a special airtight container which has an air conditioning unit attached to the side that you have to start up an hour before you turn on your computer in order to have the inside cooled enough

 

[zanahoria]

172. You can hear the beads on the abacus move everytime you click