500 ways you know your computer sucks

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by ULTIMATEGP, May 25, 2006.

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  1. Mirc

    Mirc Not mIRC!!!

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    119: It does not have a mouse function incorporated, and you can't edit, since Norton doesn't work on it and you have to use MS-dos.
     
  2. BlizzardGR

    BlizzardGR Prince

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    120: It's labeled as "Eniac's Great Grandfather"
    121: Operating your computer is like working out at the gym.
     
  3. Mirc

    Mirc Not mIRC!!!

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    That's the best I heard.
     
  4. BlizzardGR

    BlizzardGR Prince

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    Thanks!

    122: Your computer is so old that a Pentium @ 200Mhz seems like alien technology to you and you blame the government for a UFO crash cover-up.

    122: You are the best client of the Electric company.

    123: Your birthday is a national holiday in the United Arabic Emirates as you are their main source of income.

    124: You are the reason Peak Oil will occur 20 years earlier than it should.
     
  5. Pentium

    Pentium Digital Matter

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    Not bad either:

    125. Your computer Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math.
     
  6. Souron

    Souron The Dark Lord

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    126. Your computer has a big key sticking out of the top that you have to wind to use the computer.
     
  7. Genocidicbunny

    Genocidicbunny Bug squasher

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    127. You use Raid to keep to get rid of the systems bugs
     
  8. Pentium

    Pentium Digital Matter

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    128. Your computer is the biggest consumer of coal in the town.
     
  9. Mirc

    Mirc Not mIRC!!!

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    129: Your computer has been used by Hitler himself
     
  10. Truronian

    Truronian Quite unfamiliar Retired Moderator

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    130. Hitler also thought it was crap
     
  11. BlizzardGR

    BlizzardGR Prince

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    He, he! Didn't thought of that! :goodjob:
     
  12. Maniacal

    Maniacal the green Napoleon

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  13. megalomaniac

    megalomaniac Push the red button!!

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    132. It's made by Fisher Price.
     
  14. BlizzardGR

    BlizzardGR Prince

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    133. Your great grandfather fished it from the bottom of the sea near the island of Antikythera in Greece.
     
  15. Heretic_Cata

    Heretic_Cata We're gonna live forever

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    (A little extra) And it looked like this:
     
  16. azzaman333

    azzaman333 meh

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    cant see it h_c.
     
  17. Heretic_Cata

    Heretic_Cata We're gonna live forever

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    That happened quite alot lately ... :hmm:

    Anyway, here it is:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:NAMA_Machine_d'Anticythère_1.jpg
     
  18. azzaman333

    azzaman333 meh

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    :rotfl:

    134. You cant have your computer on for 10 seconds without it exploding and burning down your house.

    135. Despite 134, you continue to use it even though you cant actually do anything on it without causing it to explode quicker. Even watching the screensaver makes it explode quicker
     
  19. Perfection

    Perfection The Great Head.

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    136: Inner-city public schools won't accept it as a donation.
     
  20. Truronian

    Truronian Quite unfamiliar Retired Moderator

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    137. Your screen saver is a curtain.

    138. It was advertised as a cvmpvter
     
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