"Damnation."
Even Raguel had to agree with that. Absolutely had. And Azrael didn't doubt that he would have, had he not been in Mecca right now, administrating the territories under the Crusader control. Had he been here, in a tent near the mountain of Al Qarah. The Black Mountain, now more aptly-named than ever. The obsidian-black stronghold of a very dark being. Nagash. Of whom Azrael still knew little.
"How high are our casualties?" - Azrael finally asked.
"12,353 paladins." - reported Nakir.
"And the others?"
"Who?"
"The militia." - asked Azrael wearily.
Nakir remained silent.
"You didn't count them." - said Azrael plainly - "In the name of God, what this war has already done with us all..." - he sighed - "Well then... Anything else from the front? Is Medina..."
"We are still holding it and have formed several volunteer divisions there. The Antichrist's forces are encountering some logistical problems, plus there are some risings behind Effef's lines. This slowed him down, but he is beginning to regain impetus. We won't have any time to redeploy many troops there."
The mention of the Antichrist's human name made Azrael's mood even worse (he never stopped cursing himself for missing such an obvious clue - EFFEF=FFF=666), but Nakir didn't notice this. Or pretended not to notice it anyway.
Azrael sat, thoughtfully, considering his options.
"Very well then." - he finally said, looking up - "We won't redeploy anyone. Not yet, anyway. Any other news?"
"The Maltese experiments..."
"I am aware of these news." - interrupted Azrael - "Even without paladins, Malta is a good ally. I hope that they will open a second front against the Anticrhist soon."
"We could contact them..."
"I probably will... What about Heaven?"
"Michael is still recovering. But he will live, ofcourse."
"And then what?"
"Hmm?"
"After he recovers." - Azrael asked patiently - "What will he do then?"
"I suspect that he will... rejoin the war effort." - said Nakir, as the true meaning of Azrael's words sunk in - "I have heard that he planned to deploy at Kiev, the Orthodox Christians quite like him." - he added hastily.
"So do the Muslims."
"Brother, you know that we are all on your side."
"I hope not. I do not want anyone to take sides - especially my side." - Azrael said bitterly. Suddenly, he stood up and shouted - "When Michael takes command, obey him like you would obey God Himself!"
"They will not remove you, they know that it is not good for morale..."
"Am I good for morale? Oh, I raised morale, Brother! I raised it - by destroying human beings that swore to fight for us!"
"They are alive. And unthreatened by fear..." - protseted Nakir meekly.
"At the price of no longer being human. Look, even I know fear. Even God Himself knows fear, for He is all-knowing. They," - Azrael pointed in a vague direction - "They knew fear! No paladins knew as much fear as they, though that is unsurprising, considering the situations most of them have been through. But now they do not know fear. I destroyed them, they are now fearless warriors, but no longer are living beings, for all that lives - fears!"
"There was nothing else..."
"Yes there was." - said Azrael, sitting down and seemingly calming down - "I wanted to separate them into two divisions, to have them calm down a bit... But there I went and destroyed their fear. I had no right to do so, but neither can I undo it now. Only He could."
"Had He wanted to, He would have undone it...."
"Perhaps. No, I am not good for morale, brother." - Azrael went on - "I live in fear and hysteria. Did I raise your morale by shouting at you because of my own sins? Hmm?"
"No."
"Then accept Michael."
"They will not send him here, brother."
"Why?" - asked Azrael bluntly.
"You have sinned, Azrael." - Azrael was unsure who said that. It seemed to be Nakir at first... but at the same time it was not Nakir - "And only you can redeem your sins. And you are already on the right path. You accepted responsibility and confessed your sins. You have taken command of those you have wronged."
"Am I forgiven?" - Azrael inquired.
"No. But you will be. Everyone will be forgiven." - the voice was strange, indescribable. The only thing Azrael could say about it was that it was calm. Understanding. Compassionate. Forgiving.
"Even they?"
"Even the demons. And even your soldiers. They too shall be forgiven."
"Then what am I to do now?"
"Live. Fight. Fight for the souls - of your soldiers and of the demons. Lead your division, o Angel of Death, and I will help you [1]. Above all, do as seems fit."
"I will."
Nakir, seeing that Azrael was immersed in something else, left long ago. When the voice went away, Azrael felt very, very tired. He immediately fell asleep, for the first time since what he had done at al-Aziziyah.
---
[1] I suppose that erez will get the hint.
