Arranged Marriage

[Akka]

I was personnally talking about :

f) Two people consider that they will get monetary and taxes advantages by being married. Or perhaps one wants to emigrate to another country, and try to find a "convenience husband/wife" to facilitate the process.
They marry themselve without feeling, just to get the material advantages.

 

[Pirate]

I'm considering marriage within the next few years and I must say there is a lot of pressure in deciding that she is 'the one'. There are so many emotional factors in play, from 'Do I love you more than you love me?" doubts, to biological clocks ticking, to the romanticized idea that it should be a lightning bolt that hits you and you suddenly can't live without the other person, to fears of losing your identity. Those pressures lead to bad marriages in my opinion (and I'm trying to avoid that) Really, the decision to propose will come down to a decision of if it feels right and makes sense.

In a way arranged marriages just eliminate all the pretense. There's no big ideas of 'the one' or that you are entering into an emotional state that is unlike anything else in the world. No, it comes down to if it just feels right and makes sense. Now, arranged marriages also open to the door to subjugating women and other societal issues. But I know several people that come from arranged marriages and they are independent happy people. It's a thin balance and I think the important factor is the people in the marriage, not the basic premise.

 

[betazed]

I was personnally talking about :

f) Two people consider that they will get monetary and taxes advantages by being married. Or perhaps one wants to emigrate to another country, and try to find a "convenience husband/wife" to facilitate the process.
They marry themselve without feeling, just to get the material advantages.

Hmmm... Interesting. Not sure how good or bad that is. If two consenting adults do that it is of course up to them. I personally would not do it because I think the trouble involved will outweigh the benefits.

Personally, apart from (c) above I do not see any reason why I think any of them should be bad. (a) is a little extreme but hey if the weddees do not object it is them. (c) is unfair to the woman hence I object.

I have seen no examples of (c) myself.

However, let me just say that all examples of divorce that I have seen (bar one) is of (d) above, which seems to tell me that "non-arranged marriages" have a higher divorce rate than arranged marriages. Now, I am not sure whether this is true because I have not seen any statistical data to assert this hypothesis. Neither, can I extend reasons for why this should be true, if it is at all true? Or whether this is a secondary effect of cultural differences? Should be interesting to study though.

 

[Akka]

Arranged marriage shows a culture where people aren't asked what they prefer.
As such, it's normal that the divorces are lower - people aren't expected to do what they want, but what are supposed to do.

And sorry, but twisting the meaning of a union to gain benefit, without love, IS bad.
Well, rather pityful than evil, but certainly not something I would condone.

 

[betazed]

Arranged marriage shows a culture where people aren't asked what they prefer.

As such, it's normal that the divorces are lower - people aren't expected to do what they want, but what are supposed to do.

Akka, you are painting with too broad a brush there. I will not elaborate on that except to say that before making such broad statements please try and know such cultures a bit.

In all the cases above except for (a) and part of (c) the wishes of the groom and the bride are respected. The parents help them get to know each other or rather bring them together in the first place. It leads to successful marraiges and IMO, has more probability of being a success for the simple reason that these people do not overlook something that in the west is often overlooked. A marraige is not just the union of two people but rather a union of two families.