[RD] Ask a Schizoaffective.

Chemistry or not, when you buy a car you become fat and lazy, unless you exercise – yes. But why exercise your unmounted facilities while there's such a great mean of transportation as car? Why work on your inner self by yourself when there are doctors and medication? They have science and all, and you, as an amateur, would break something in your inner self without their help, for sure!
 
There's over 100 distinct hormones and neurotransmitters in our body which leaves out the different reception methods and, my favorite part, the meta upon meta layers of coactivators of corepressors of coactivators etc. While the system is vastly more complex than our total science grasps, it's also a lot more complex and optimistically malleable than what a car-exercise analogy allows for.

A lot folks taking psychiatric drugs find they are able to exercise more of their minds (and bodies!) and that the diminished cognition was a much bigger source of weakness and atrophy than whatever process is now hitching a ride on the Rx train.
 
I can say with experience I'm better off when I'm on my meds.
 
Yeah, as someone diagnosed Schizoaffective, unfortunately I'm pretty much stuck on meds for the rest of my life too. Not much I can do about it unless I want to be locked up in a padded cell. It's pretty much either/or.
 
I had a user-requested six month ban.
 
This deserves an update. I finally have my first job. We're getting paid for two weeks of training, and today is my third day of training. I'm not willing to say specifically what my job is on this online forum, but let's just say I'm tech support and leave it at that.

So far I'm surprised that I've actually been one of the better students to grasp the material (or so it seems). I fear angry customers that will cuss me out because the product doesn't work as expected, but maybe I'll acclamate to it in time.

Even the training class has been a little stressful itself, at the very least you have to stay in that room and pay attention for 8 hours rather than do whatever you like. I can say I've had a little more hallucinations as a result of that stress.

One particular guy is a douche and he thinks I'm dumb, but he couldn't be more wrong. Yesterday he tried to trick me into walking into the wrong room (he thinks I'll fall for that since I'm new) by waving by the wrong room and walking in, but I ignored him. Then after that later that day he flashed a laser light on my down the hallway, presumably on my private part. He was laughing the whole time and he is a complete idiot. He is a white guy with dreadlocks that appears to be about 20 years old.

Other than him it's not that bad of a place to work, at least from what there is so far.
 
caketastydelish said:
This deserves an update. I finally have my first job. We're getting paid for two weeks of training, and today is my third day of training. I'm not willing to say specifically what my job is on this online forum, but let's just say I'm tech support and leave it at that.

So far I'm surprised that I've actually been one of the better students to grasp the material (or so it seems). I fear angry customers that will cuss me out because the product doesn't work as expected, but maybe I'll acclamate to it in time.

Even the training class has been a little stressful itself, at the very least you have to stay in that room and pay attention for 8 hours rather than do whatever you like. I can say I've had a little more hallucinations as a result of that stress.

One particular guy is a douche and he thinks I'm dumb, but he couldn't be more wrong. Yesterday he tried to trick me into walking into the wrong room (he thinks I'll fall for that since I'm new) by waving by the wrong room and walking in, but I ignored him. Then after that later that day he flashed a laser light on my down the hallway, presumably on my private part. He was laughing the whole time and he is a complete idiot. He is a white guy with dreadlocks that appears to be about 20 years old.

Other than him it's not that bad of a place to work, at least from what there is so far.
Click to expand...
Thx for update. Working is like a muscle, you'll strengthen your 8-hour attention span over time. That dude is gonna get fired so just hang on.
 
That, and the thing about this particular job (and probably most jobs) is that you get better at it over time, to where it takes less effort and stress for the same amount of work.
 
Exactly.

So when you say more hallucinations due to work, does that mean they happen at work? What are they like?
 
Yes they happen at work. Little spots I see.
 
update for end of first week of work:

We had a test to see what we retained in the first week of work and I made a 96. I made one of the highest grades in the class and my instructor is very happy with me, and she already knows about my condition because I talked to her in private.

She wanted the average grade to be 92 and it was apparently lower, but that obviously wasn't my fault. She was mad at the students who made worse than 92 and blames them for talking to each other and not paying attention to the lecture. There were many parts I felt I missed myself, yet I made a good grade so I don't know.
 
Interesting that you told your superior. Glad it's all cool. Are you actually in Seattle now?
 
Nope! I just wish I was. I'm stuck in Texas and really want Seattle to kick the Cowboy's butt in the superbowl, but that's it's own thread. :lol:

My most realistic hopes of affording to move there (without the gradual painful process of moving up the corporate ladder which I"m shooting for nonetheless) is pretty much limited to writing my novel. I think I already gave you the url. If not pm me and I'll give it to you.

-----------------------

Spoiler :
Note: I'm working full time right now because training must be 40 hours a week for two weeks because there's so much you have to learn. But you'll see in this "long version" that I'm not handling it very well. I have one of the highest grades in the class, but that's come at a price.


Some idiot supervisor/boss whatever you call her was pissed when she found out I had no intention of working full time. She basically said I have to work full time, and I say if you make me work full time I'll just quit... but they already would have to pay for attending this one week of training which probably pissed her off. The fact that I made such a good grade on our test would piss her off even more (since she would be losing a 'smart' employee)

I may even be able to hold a full time job but the neurpsychologist (this guy at a PhD and everything) said I would only be able to handle part time. I would like to say I handled this week 'just fine' but that would be a lie. You would think it wouldn't be that stressful since it's only training but that would be mistaken, even many of the other students/workers have complained it's overwhelming (at least the ones like me that actually give a damn).

Next week will be our last week of training, and then we begin the actual job. I will only work part time. I really hope I can keep this job. It certainly will help me with my dignity in all honesty. Maybe if I can hold a part time job for long enough I will bump up to full time but not right now... especially with classes starting anyway. The guy that gave me the psych. eval said I should either work part time or go to college part time but not both simultaneously as that would me more stress than I could handle. I'm already going to do both of those at the same time which is against his advice. So to work FULL time, PLUS college part time is out of the question.

The good news is even if they let me go they still have to pay me for the week I already went there, and furthermore the woman that recruited me for this job at my college promised me that I would be allowed to work part time, and someone else recruited from my college has the exact same story (because it is true) so we are innocent with this. I know there probably are tons of people that can handle full time work plus part time college but I know I can't.

This entire week I've been sleeping literally like 12-13 hours a day because my 8 hour job of training leaves me so mentally exhausted and for the few hours I'm awake (and not at work) I am extremely irritable and grumpy. My dad asked me to help him shop at Wal-Mart and I blasted at him for even asking me, because I felt I didn't have time for my own hobbies because of my work, so I wasn't going to help anyone else with anything. I can handle one more week of 'hell' but there's no way I'm going to continue this full time unless it gets much better.

On Thursday I missed an hour and a half of the lecture because as I said before I started seeing spots and I was stressed out at as hell and was just hanging on for dear life, so focusing on the lecture was impossible.

I know everything I'm saying sounds so downright pathetic. But it's the truth. Having a condition like mine makes life hard, that's the only way I can put it.
 
So I quit my job today. Why? Because I kept telling myself "it's gonna get better... it's gonna get better..." over and over again until I no longer could and there was no escaping I was kidding myself.

I'm tired of not having the answers to people's questions and even with the online database I usually do not have the answer it seems. One hard client after another and they don't want it now... they want it yesterday.

Furthermore I'm only supposing to be working part time (no more than 20 hours) and they had me down for 25... fluctuating between 25 and 40 depending on what they wanted.

I'm not going to go in too much specific detail, but this companies organization is just as disorganized as my mental state of being, and they haven't kept a single promise... Anyway I'm tired of seeing things that aren't real while I'm at work directly because I'm stressed because I'm panicking because I don't know the answers to people's problems that they're calling tech support for, and there isn't a single article in my database to solve their issue time and time again. I search frantically and usually our supervisor is somewhere else so I have to wait a long time and keep waiting with the angry client.

edit: Furthermore a lot of this I feel could have truly been prevented. After our two weeks of initial training (which is not very useful considering we don't talk to any actual clients during the training) we were promised one week of "post training graduation" type of thing where we're basically helped out for that first week on the floor so we can get good quickly. Of course, that never actually happened, they just threw us to the wolves. Besides that even after that first week we were promised to be coached each week based on our performance on how to become better agents, and that didn't happen either. All sorts of garbage like that all over the place. What a disorganized chaos of a place to work, on top of the outright misery of the clients hating your guts when you didn't do anything to them...

The thing is I really do care. It truly makes me feel better when I'm able to assist the client, makes me feel worthwhile. But this is so frustrating because it makes me feel worthless when I don't know what to tell them.

On the other hand when I quit the human resources lady said within the company itself nobody had complained about me whereas a lot of other people (presumably with no disability) had been getting complaints and reprimanded, so maybe I was being too hard on myself and I wasn't doing quite as bad as what I thought. I honestly don't know, but I just couldn't take this anymore. Now I'm a loser with no job again and I don't know what to do.
 
Talking to irate customers on the phone may be one of the most demeaning jobs. Their irritation has nothing to do with your ability to help them. It is just really easy to vent one's frustrations over some phone line, that most people do it without even realizing it.

Then you as the one with the answers has to take it and try to realize they are not upset at you, even though you have to take the brunt of their anger. To add insult to injury, your employer did not help matters any. I hope that you can find something else soon, and any endeavor you take should not be looked at as wasted but a step in learning more about life and giving you more courage instead of taking it away from you.
 
Something just happened today that wiped away all my regrets of quitting.

Someone from the company called me today and scolded me for not showing up for overtime today "like I agreed."

I said:

1) I quit this (obviously crappy) job yesterday, and I informed you all of this.

2) Even while I was a part of the company, I never said a damn thing about working overtime. My schedule was Monday-Friday from 1:30 to 6:30. I never said anything about wanting to work overtime.

These people have so much nerve, what a disorganized mess.
 
Some employers can be a delight to work for. But the opposite is more usual, unfortunately.
 
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