Admiral Kutzov
Idiot Emeritus
I will start mapping when you've finalized the "wrongs" of the world.
B04: What if they were wrong?
- Thread starter Beorn-eL-Feared
- Start date
Beorn-eL-Feared
Idiot riding pedals
I propose a last wrong:
- Crossing Zebra crossings (Zulu borders) is wrong.The zulu shall not be bloodstained.
Troops sent in Zululand must not get there by foot/boat through their border. They must be heliported.
Official map request sent to AK.
Btw: can we put a helicopter on a carrier or a transport in order to heliport troops from there?
- Crossing Zebra crossings (Zulu borders) is wrong.
Troops sent in Zululand must not get there by foot/boat through their border. They must be heliported.
Official map request sent to AK.
Btw: can we put a helicopter on a carrier or a transport in order to heliport troops from there?
Beorn-eL-Feared
Idiot riding pedals
Pre-Turns: Here's the map and the hail.
Gold hill looks darn tempting. Move down to settle
We then get maps upon settling:
Nice cow up north. That's a 1st city, no doubt.
Build order is warrior-granary-settler.
Tech order is pottery-Alpha
3250BC: Spot this border.
3200BC: Spain is already up CB+Alpha on us (this means they acquired 3 techs in 16 turns). I suspect I'll have competition trying to date 'Bella.
3150BC: Meet Abe's little brother the scout.
America is up Alpha and CB on us, but down warrior code. Can't seem to find a way into trading with them without gpt, so I abstain.
3100BC: America already bought it off Bella. I think our chances of dating her before the MA put more clothes on her are growing slim.
Normally, the settler should be able to finish exactly right when we grow to 4, with the forest-on-growth thingy. The faster we get to the other cow, the better. Plus it has dyes, 2BG, 2 forests, river...
Bella has a worker for sale. Should we?
Gold hill looks darn tempting. Move down to settle
We then get maps upon settling:
Nice cow up north. That's a 1st city, no doubt.
Build order is warrior-granary-settler.
Tech order is pottery-Alpha
3250BC: Spot this border.
3200BC: Spain is already up CB+Alpha on us (this means they acquired 3 techs in 16 turns). I suspect I'll have competition trying to date 'Bella.
3150BC: Meet Abe's little brother the scout.
America is up Alpha and CB on us, but down warrior code. Can't seem to find a way into trading with them without gpt, so I abstain.
3100BC: America already bought it off Bella. I think our chances of dating her before the MA put more clothes on her are growing slim.
Normally, the settler should be able to finish exactly right when we grow to 4, with the forest-on-growth thingy. The faster we get to the other cow, the better. Plus it has dyes, 2BG, 2 forests, river...
Bella has a worker for sale. Should we?
Beorn-eL-Feared
Idiot riding pedals
Roster:
(20)-Beorn
(0)-Soul_Warrior
(0)-Viper275
(0)-MeteorPunch
(0)-sanabas
(0)-Khan_Asparuh
Anyone picking this up should play 15.
AK, since you didn't get the inaugural 20, feel free to knock in anytime.
(20)-Beorn
(0)-Soul_Warrior
(0)-Viper275
(0)-MeteorPunch
(0)-sanabas
(0)-Khan_Asparuh
Anyone picking this up should play 15.
AK, since you didn't get the inaugural 20, feel free to knock in anytime.
soul_warrior
Termite!
ill get this tonite
Khan_Asparuh
Just a Bulgarian Eddie
We're going for an early settler? This will leave the academy at pop 2...
soul_warrior
Termite!
BEF - care to make a list of all the wrongs?
plenty of those floating about, and not all were chosen.
and yeah, an early settler, followed by a growing period.
plenty of those floating about, and not all were chosen.
and yeah, an early settler, followed by a growing period.
Khan_Asparuh
Just a Bulgarian Eddie
Me too... from 9th to 18... forgot to mention it.
soul_warrior
Termite!
well, Viper and Khan... hope you enjoy the holidays 
more turns for me then
BO4 SW 3000bc > 2350bc the Idiots Soul Revealed
preturn? whats there to do.
Oh! go to the fridge and get a nice cool lager. helps me concentrate on Diety
IBT - spanish are building Colossus.
slow the units down so i can see whats up.
1- the academy get another folish recruit. he paints the Admirals Palalce walls with starnge figures in purple paint. before the Admiral finds out we get an emergency fund to help clean this up. it costs us some more tax for the materials and bribes. (lux up to 20)
Jeeves roads.
2- Hans keeps going north.
3- Jeeves irrigates. Hans walks.
4-
5- the academy gives the diploma to its first truly idiotic cadet, promoting him to corporal.
in true idiot tradition, he goes in the wrong direction.
the comandant realises that with fewer cadets now he can skim a bit off the top and posts an add for another copper to help keep dicipline (e.g. warrior build)
6- Jeeves is planting some trees in preperation for the Kaiser's Highway. i ask him "what Highway?"
he answers " the one that will lead to that idiots new home, silly!"
7- the academy gets another idiot guard. he is promptly nicked as "ARNIE". Arnie gets annoyed with his new name and walks off after the corporal, muttering "I'LL BE BACK!!"
the sergeant gets pissed and posts another add.
8- the corporal gets tired after a few days march and thinks "Hmm, people must come out here sometimes. the view is great and the spaniard babes are truly Hot." getting a very untypically intelligent stroke he decides that what the world needs now is a new diner. he then builds Soul Food which is set to build a cooler room for the beers. (garanry)
9- the second guard to be recruited proves to be too stupid to ever graduate, so is hired by the local sheriff to help him on the weekends. we start building a school for the new cadets. it appears that a strange man that says he's from a monastery in the east, teached some kids how to JiuJitsu. its so popular that the academy is forced to add this to the curriculm. (rax)
10- Jeeves heads out north to connect the great hunting grounds to the diner. the corporal thinks that a nice Safari, where you get to eat what you kill is a nice idea that could bring in many dollars.
Hans, OTOH, gets to Lands' End.
11- we learn the secret of letters. it appears the the now in-famous corporal knew all this long ago.
it was written on the admiral's palace walls GIVE PEACE A CHANCE. good thing he decided to leave the academy and produce food instead! the academy has no room for pacifists.
now we start trying to make sense of the Letters into what some might say is WRITING, a truly idiotic concept. whats wrong with shouting\shooting?
12- Jeeves starts irrigating the cow. those Safari dudes didnt show up, so might aswell feed dem cows.
13-the academy finished its new Military school, but now those upstart cadets want to take up Yachting. so a Curragh is ordered up.
14- the YANKS are building a huge statue to celebrate a millenia of future slaves. its Big, its Black, and its holding a spear.
15 -. joining the yanks party after building the corner stone to that rediculous statue proves to be a mistake. another mistake was the inhuman quantities of cold 
they served. we decided to be polite and NOT say something that the Yanks will take offense with regarding thier beer. we do however leave a few kegs of Czech Budweiser for the captains.
the corporal thinks he can sell some at a profit there
BellaDonna now knows the art of forging metal toys, including Handcuffs, turture stuff and even something called a SWORD.
she opens up a shop right outside the academy.
and the cadets cant get enough of her.
i wonder what REALLY happens in that dark cellar of hers.
boat is up next, then another cadet dropout?
Hans should Go West, in true Village People form.
more turns for me then
BO4 SW 3000bc > 2350bc the Idiots Soul Revealed
preturn? whats there to do.
Oh! go to the fridge and get a nice cool lager. helps me concentrate on Diety
IBT - spanish are building Colossus.
slow the units down so i can see whats up.
1- the academy get another folish recruit. he paints the Admirals Palalce walls with starnge figures in purple paint. before the Admiral finds out we get an emergency fund to help clean this up. it costs us some more tax for the materials and bribes. (lux up to 20)
Jeeves roads.
2- Hans keeps going north.
3- Jeeves irrigates. Hans walks.
4-
5- the academy gives the diploma to its first truly idiotic cadet, promoting him to corporal.
in true idiot tradition, he goes in the wrong direction.
the comandant realises that with fewer cadets now he can skim a bit off the top and posts an add for another copper to help keep dicipline (e.g. warrior build)
6- Jeeves is planting some trees in preperation for the Kaiser's Highway. i ask him "what Highway?"
he answers " the one that will lead to that idiots new home, silly!"
7- the academy gets another idiot guard. he is promptly nicked as "ARNIE". Arnie gets annoyed with his new name and walks off after the corporal, muttering "I'LL BE BACK!!"
the sergeant gets pissed and posts another add.
8- the corporal gets tired after a few days march and thinks "Hmm, people must come out here sometimes. the view is great and the spaniard babes are truly Hot." getting a very untypically intelligent stroke he decides that what the world needs now is a new diner. he then builds Soul Food which is set to build a cooler room for the beers. (garanry)
9- the second guard to be recruited proves to be too stupid to ever graduate, so is hired by the local sheriff to help him on the weekends. we start building a school for the new cadets. it appears that a strange man that says he's from a monastery in the east, teached some kids how to JiuJitsu. its so popular that the academy is forced to add this to the curriculm. (rax)
10- Jeeves heads out north to connect the great hunting grounds to the diner. the corporal thinks that a nice Safari, where you get to eat what you kill is a nice idea that could bring in many dollars.
Hans, OTOH, gets to Lands' End.
11- we learn the secret of letters. it appears the the now in-famous corporal knew all this long ago.
it was written on the admiral's palace walls GIVE PEACE A CHANCE. good thing he decided to leave the academy and produce food instead! the academy has no room for pacifists.
now we start trying to make sense of the Letters into what some might say is WRITING, a truly idiotic concept. whats wrong with shouting\shooting?
12- Jeeves starts irrigating the cow. those Safari dudes didnt show up, so might aswell feed dem cows.
13-the academy finished its new Military school, but now those upstart cadets want to take up Yachting. so a Curragh is ordered up.
14- the YANKS are building a huge statue to celebrate a millenia of future slaves. its Big, its Black, and its holding a spear.
15 -
. joining the yanks party after building the corner stone to that rediculous statue proves to be a mistake. another mistake was the inhuman quantities of cold they served. we decided to be polite and NOT say something that the Yanks will take offense with regarding thier beer. we do however leave a few kegs of Czech Budweiser for the captains.the corporal thinks he can sell some at a profit there
BellaDonna now knows the art of forging metal toys, including Handcuffs, turture stuff and even something called a SWORD.
she opens up a shop right outside the academy.
and the cadets cant get enough of her.
i wonder what REALLY happens in that dark cellar of hers.
boat is up next, then another cadet dropout?
Hans should Go West, in true Village People form.
Beorn-eL-Feared
Idiot riding pedals
I'll be gone somewhere around 12 to 17 as well, will have to confirm.
My idea for the early settler is that we'll have another big growth town near enough. I don't like going for a settler that early either, usually. That one just looked too tempting. Feel free to change the build, it'll only have 6 shields in the bag, 5 if you micro for gold.
List of wrongs, utilitary concise format:
- y-wrapping on
- can't conquer more than 2 islands before panzers
- disabled tactical nuke + ICBM for US only
- wonder VC on
- must name towns after the maker and the location
- must rename army units after celebrities, preferrably lousy ones
- no temples/cathedrals
- cannot cross the Zulu cultural border by foot or boat*
- must declare on anyone having a border common with ours
* we might have to trick them with paratroopers. Might also have to build a city right by an expanded border to back it off, move units on the dent created, disband the city after so our units are in - but never crossed the zebra passage.
Now, the edit: (almost x-posted the turnlog)
Roster:
(20)-Beorn
(15)-Soul_Warrior
(0)-Viper275
(0)-MeteorPunch
(0)-sanabas
(0)-Khan_Asparuh
Anyone picking this up should play 15.
I had not even thought of settling on that side of the cow. My mind was stuck with the idea that I had to found on river neck beside the dyes. Make that a few idiot points to my record.
Now the dyes look obvious to settle right on, with but one road through BG for full distribution. I'll look up what's a Dye anywyas, haven't got around to translate it back yet.
I'd suggest settling on the choke point of the continent if it wasn't that it'd inevitably start a war with Bella, and I'd like to take advantage of her for as long as I can. It drives cadets crazy, you know ? And I'm one of them
My idea for the early settler is that we'll have another big growth town near enough. I don't like going for a settler that early either, usually. That one just looked too tempting. Feel free to change the build, it'll only have 6 shields in the bag, 5 if you micro for gold.
List of wrongs, utilitary concise format:
- y-wrapping on
- can't conquer more than 2 islands before panzers
- disabled tactical nuke + ICBM for US only
- wonder VC on
- must name towns after the maker and the location
- must rename army units after celebrities, preferrably lousy ones
- no temples/cathedrals
- cannot cross the Zulu cultural border by foot or boat*
- must declare on anyone having a border common with ours
* we might have to trick them with paratroopers. Might also have to build a city right by an expanded border to back it off, move units on the dent created, disband the city after so our units are in - but never crossed the zebra passage.
Now, the edit: (almost x-posted the turnlog)
Roster:
(20)-Beorn
(15)-Soul_Warrior
(0)-Viper275
(0)-MeteorPunch
(0)-sanabas
(0)-Khan_Asparuh
Anyone picking this up should play 15.
I had not even thought of settling on that side of the cow. My mind was stuck with the idea that I had to found on river neck beside the dyes. Make that a few idiot points to my record.
Now the dyes look obvious to settle right on, with but one road through BG for full distribution. I'll look up what's a Dye anywyas, haven't got around to translate it back yet.
I'd suggest settling on the choke point of the continent if it wasn't that it'd inevitably start a war with Bella, and I'd like to take advantage of her for as long as I can. It drives cadets crazy, you know ? And I'm one of them
Methinks someone's been drinking the developing fluid and soaking their film in the vodka, a couple of your pictures look very strange Beorn, especially your much fondled? loved portrait of Bella.
Is there some logic I'm missing as to why soul food isn't 1 tile NE, to get fresh water and use the seas properly with a harbour?
Lots of steak to eat looks nice, and I think we need somewhere to swim in too. I'd suggest building a nice, safe, canal for paddling a couple of day's march north of soul food.
I'd also like to know what's so special about July? Do SGers hibernate in the middle of winter or what? "We'll wake up for spring or for tanks, whichever happens first"
Is there some logic I'm missing as to why soul food isn't 1 tile NE, to get fresh water and use the seas properly with a harbour?
Lots of steak to eat looks nice, and I think we need somewhere to swim in too. I'd suggest building a nice, safe, canal for paddling a couple of day's march north of soul food.
I'd also like to know what's so special about July? Do SGers hibernate in the middle of winter or what? "We'll wake up for spring or for tanks, whichever happens first"
Beorn-eL-Feared
Idiot riding pedals
SW is not a corporal for no reason 
though I think he's got competition in city placement with Obormot's.
Canal sounds great, though it might get us in an early war before we can take advantage of boats. Given the variant, I'd wait for the canal until we can really use boats.
ATM I think our agenda is Scout south 1st, Find horses or iron 2nd, Conquer Spain 3rd, Build a Canal 4th.
Images are a curtesy of the Win2000 cmd command DosBox that screws them every time I send them to my school server.
though I think he's got competition in city placement with Obormot's.Canal sounds great, though it might get us in an early war before we can take advantage of boats. Given the variant, I'd wait for the canal until we can really use boats.
ATM I think our agenda is Scout south 1st, Find horses or iron 2nd, Conquer Spain 3rd, Build a Canal 4th.
Images are a curtesy of the Win2000 cmd command DosBox that screws them every time I send them to my school server.
Khan_Asparuh
Just a Bulgarian Eddie
I think that Khan Idiot will play the next 15. Will he? Yes, he will. Don't worry, I'm talking all alone...
Fairy snuff. I just figure if we're building a city for the dyes, we may as well get the added utility of a canal, as it looks like a big island, maybe there's even 2 seas that aren't connected to each other since we've got y-wrap on, even if we don't send out boats to explore until later. War will start when our northwards expansion meets Bella's southward expansion, a canal/chokepoint will give us a very narrow front to defend, which can be very helpful.
Do we really need iron & horses? I'm sure I've heard that red meat is full of iron, and I think an armoured battlecow could be a very effective unit, we could drive bella and her troops before us Pamplona-style.
Do we really need iron & horses? I'm sure I've heard that red meat is full of iron, and I think an armoured battlecow could be a very effective unit, we could drive bella and her troops before us Pamplona-style.
Beorn-eL-Feared
Idiot riding pedals
Images fixed 
soul_warrior
Termite!
well, a harbour would be nice, but why waste another BG?Sanabas said:
i also thought about a tighter city placement.
but im an aspiring Idiot...
i'll take this as a complimentB-E-F said:
Feche' la Mouche'!!!Sanabas said:
Khan_Asparuh
Just a Bulgarian Eddie
A canal would immediatly put us in war with Spain.
I'm halfway through my turns, you'll see its idiotic.
I'm halfway through my turns, you'll see its idiotic.
soul_warrior said:
Worker has his big clumsy feet standing all over it, I couldn't see it was a BG. I don't like founding cities on BGs if I can help it, but I like coastal tiles only providing 1 food even less. 'Tis just personal preference.
Que?
Khan_Asparuh
Just a Bulgarian Eddie
B04
(0) 2350 BC
Check the idioctionnary, no such word as pre-flight.
(IBT) Barbidiots come out.
(1) 2310 BC
The sea will soon belong to the idiots.
(2) 2270 BC
Another fool joins the club. The barbiot is threatening Jeeves, this is fully unacceptable. What a manners.
(IBT) The barbiot kills our fellow private idiot across the river and takes off the shields from the Granary in Soul Food.
(3) 2230 BC
Blah
(4) 2190 BC
Meet barbidiotic galley.
(IBT) Defeat it. But well get another pillage in Soul Food. Engliots finish Colossus. Thats one despotic GA We were supposed to be the ones to trigger our GA under despotism How can this be done???
(5) 2150 BC
Not much.
(IBT) Lose a pop point in Soul Food
(6) 2110 BC
Spear done Warrior ordered.
(7) 2070 BC
Warrior archer. Spanish beauty is killing Barbiots at will.
(8) 2030 BC
Found another island
(10) 1950 BC
Archer archer
(12) 1870 BC
Spain building Oracle. Theyve got Maths too. Archer Settler.
(15) 1750 BC
Settler done, archer ordered.
Id keep the Academy at 10 spt (pop 6) as much as possible and use Soul Food for settlers and workers. Writing in 3 may get us up in tech, but we must meet some guys.
(0) 2350 BC
Check the idioctionnary, no such word as pre-flight.
(IBT) Barbidiots come out.
(1) 2310 BC
The sea will soon belong to the idiots.
(2) 2270 BC
Another fool joins the club. The barbiot is threatening Jeeves, this is fully unacceptable. What a manners.
(IBT) The barbiot kills our fellow private idiot across the river and takes off the shields from the Granary in Soul Food.
(3) 2230 BC
Blah
(4) 2190 BC
Meet barbidiotic galley.
(IBT) Defeat it. But well get another pillage in Soul Food. Engliots finish Colossus. Thats one despotic GA We were supposed to be the ones to trigger our GA under despotism How can this be done???
(5) 2150 BC
Not much.
(IBT) Lose a pop point in Soul Food
(6) 2110 BC
Spear done Warrior ordered.
(7) 2070 BC
Warrior archer. Spanish beauty is killing Barbiots at will.
(8) 2030 BC
Found another island
(10) 1950 BC
Archer archer
(12) 1870 BC
Spain building Oracle. Theyve got Maths too. Archer Settler.
(15) 1750 BC
Settler done, archer ordered.
Id keep the Academy at 10 spt (pop 6) as much as possible and use Soul Food for settlers and workers. Writing in 3 may get us up in tech, but we must meet some guys.
