Babelfish

Before: Just when I thought it was going all right, I found out I'm wrong when I thought I was right. Always the same, it's just a shame that's all.

After: I' which that I thought time as for that, me was inspected exactly; You said well; When I thought of me, m wrongdoing was the right. Always the same, it' s exactly shame that' s entirely.

Bonus points if you know what that's from! :D
 
Some Duke Nukem quotes, this amused me :)

ORIGINAL

TRANSLATED (ENG-DUTCH-FRA-GERMAN-ENG-JAP-ENG)

Shake it, baby!

That baby of impact!

D'you wanna dance?

D' ; As for those we would like to dance?

He he he... What a mess!

That… It forges!

What you waitin' for, Christmas?

That waitin' What; ; Because of Christmas?

B*tchin!

B*tchin!

Nobody steals our chicks, and lives!

As for the person there are no, you steal our ones kuikens, or life!

Holy sh*t!

sh*tHeilige!

I'll rip your head off and sh*t down your neck!

I' ; Your head and it is in l damage every [wa] under your neck which remains!

I'm gonna kick your ass, b*tch!

I' ; The gentleman of the will gives the woman to shock in your donkey of the feet! :hmm:

Those alien bastards are gonna pay for shooting up my ride!

In order this to come to bastaarden my interval in order to pay strangely!

I should have known, those alien maggots booby-trapped the sub...

I become, fixed least significant under these strange larvae because of trden… :hmm:

I don't have time to play with myself!

I don' ; t has in order to do my time!

Your face, your ass, whats the difference?

That surface of the thing which is difference, your donkey?

You bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking, algae-eater!

s' Blijft of Onderst; Them themselves zuigt of schuim, many eter than the alga you keep! :cool:

Die, you son of a b*tch!

The stencil son is - - - the woman!
 
English: Here come the jesters, one-two-three. It's all part of my fantasy. I love the music, and I love to see the crowd, dancing in the aisles, and singing out loud.

[lyrics from my favorite song]

to German, to French, to Dutch, and back to English.

Here the birds d' recreation, comes one-two-three. It' ; s it very part of my imagination. J' love music and I want that the mass, to dance in the rates, and outside see loud sings.
 
English: Where the hell is winter when you need it?

to Italian, to French, to Greek, to English

Where it is l'? ; inverno in t o what you l'? it has the need?

That is terrible.

English: Most commercials today are worthless, especially ones with alarm clocks.

to Greek, to French, to Portuguese, to English

Most of the representatives is aujourd' today without value, especially these with the clocks d' you alert.

I am never trusting babelfish again.

English: This translating website is horrible. I feel sorry for anyone who uses it for homework.

to Russian, to English

This transferring [vebsayt] it is terrible. I feel by that distressed for any which is used it for the domestic work.
 
From my Literature project:

"Why should a school recommend that all American Literature students read a book that has been called crude, racist, and irrelevant for the modern age? Why should an American classic that has been read by millions and that Ernest Hemingway called the 'one book' from which 'all modern American literature' came be declared unnecessary for 21st Century education? These conflicting questions are at the center of the controversy over Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn that we confront today."

Into:

The school why it designates as in order today to respect the material, the American literature student to be there is the note person of discriminational of song, there is no relationship and matter own the name which is read in order to nominate The book of Ernest Hemingway Why family and possibility 1,010,000; It was consistent; Showing, method America is bitter, it is total of fight of convergence characteristic; 1 book Which; Empty; All today American literature' Declared at the 21st century unnecessary it pities to be, education it comes? As for this it is in the opposite direction; Question; There sign Thursday way; The center of argument becomes; S present us it faces the brooch Huckle place of the fruit which is brought up.
 
These are actual quotes from my new Chinese textbook, who's English sentences are already quite funny. Running them through Japanese makes them EVEN BETTER.


My girlfriend unexpectedly married someone else.
私のガールフレンドは予想に反して誰か他の人と結婚した
My girl friend opposing to expectation, someone got married with the other person

He purposely smokes in a no-smoking area. He is really ill-mannered.
彼は禁煙区域で故意にたばこを吸う。 彼は実際に無作法である。
He inhales the tobacco intentionally with non-smoking area. He really is non etiquette.

This operation is even easier than pulling a tooth.
この操作はであり歯を引っ張るより容易。
Rather than is this operation and pulling the tooth, easy.

In America, if you have money, you can buy anything you like.
アメリカでは、お金がある限り、あなたが好む何でも買うことができる。
If in America, there is a money, it can buy with anything which you like.

Because he is American, this unavoidably causes me to have some concerns about your future.
彼がアメリカであるので、これによりやむを得ず私にあなたの未来についてのある心配がある。
Because he is America, you there is the worry which concerning future because of this inevitably in me is.
 
The act of sexual procreation between a man and a woman; the man's penis is inserted into the woman's vagina and excited until orgasm and ejaculation occur

人と女性間の性の出産の行為; man' sの陰茎はwoman'に挿入される; オルガスムおよび射精が起こるまでsの膣および刺激される

Behavior of childbirth of characteristic between person and woman; man' As for the penis of s woman' It is inserted; Until orgasm and ejaculation happen, the vagina of s and it is stimulated
 
I am going to kill you
私は殺そうと思っている
I intend probably to kill
 
Any society that gives up a little liberty to gain a little security deserves neither and will lose both.

少し保証を得るために少し自由をあきらめるどの社会でもどちらも値しないし、両方を失う。

Loses both is not worthy of and, both in any society which a little a little abandons freedom in order to obtain guarantee.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have become death, the shatterer of worlds.

私はなった死、世界のshattererを有する。

I possess shatterer of death and the world where it becomes.
 
Joe Biden is dumb.
ジョーBidenは物の言えない
The thing you cannot call jaw Biden

sorry, couldnt help it.
 
I did not inhale.
私は吸い込まなかった。
I did not suck.

If I wasn't a married man I might ask that mummy out. That's a good looking mummy!
Iならwasn' t結婚されていた人私はそのミイラに尋ねるかもしれない。 That' s.aの格好良いミイラ!
If I wasn' t perhaps human me who have gotten married you ask to that mummy. That' The appearance of s.a good mummy!

This next one's for all you Bubb Rubb fans.

That's only in the morning. You probably supposed to be up cooking breakfast for somebody, just like an alarm clock! WOO WHOOOOOO
That' 午前中だけs。 目覚し時計のような誰かのための朝食の、ちょうど調理の上にあるためにおそらく仮定した! WHOOOOOOに懇願しなさい
That' Just during morning s. The eye apparently breakfast because someone's like the clock, exactly in regard to cooking perhaps you supposed because it is! Entreat to WHOOOOOO

:lol:
 
Half Life quote!!! :D

"They're wating for you Gordon... in the test chamber..."

became...

"They' Re-your because Gordon of wating test room ......"

"Good god, I really need to go to the bathroom and relieve myself!"

became...

"It is necessary good God, for I to go into the bathroom really, to remove by my!"

"I seem to have failed at love too many times... For more information go to the random rants thread."

became...

"I seem that fails with love, even excessively many times… Go to the thread of optional boasting bragging because of many items of information."
 
Some classic speeches, through trad. Chinese (special points to those who know where they ALL come from):


All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin, and, therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words: Ich bin ein Berliner!
所有自由的人,無論哪裡他們也许居住,是柏林的公民,并且,因此,作為一個自由的人,我以詞為傲: Ich容器ein柏林人!
All free people, regardless of perhaps where they do live, is Berlin's citizen, and, therefore, takes a free person, I take word as arrogant: Ich vessel ein Berlin person!

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears:
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answered it.
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest –
For Brutus is an honorable man;
So are they all, all honorable men
朋友,羅曼,鄉民,借我您的耳朵: 我來埋葬凱撒,不稱讚他。 罪惡人做在他們以後的生活; 好經常interred與他們的骨頭; 因此讓它是與凱撒。 高尚的羅馬政治家 Hath告诉您凱撒是雄心勃勃的: 如果情形是那樣,它是一個悲傷缺點, 并且hath凱撒悲傷地回答了它。 这里,在羅馬政治家和休息之下事假- 对于羅馬政治家是一個高尚的人; 因此是他们全都,所有高尚的人
Friend, Roman, countryman, taking advantage of my yours ear:
I bury Caesar, does not commend him.
The evil person does in they later life;
Good frequently interred and their bone;
Therefore lets it is and Caesar.
Noble Roman statesman Hath tells you Caesar is ambitious:
If the situation is such, it is a sad shortcoming, and hath Caesar replied it sadly.
Here, under the Roman statesmen and the rest the leave - regarding the Roman statesmen is a noble person;
Therefore is they all, all noble people

How much longer, O Catilina, will you abuse our patience? How much longer is that madness of yours still to mock us? When will there be an end to that unbridled audacity of yours?
O Catilina,您將濫用多少更長我們的耐心? 多少更長是仍然嘲笑我們的你的那瘋狂? 有沒有何时末端對你的那未拘束的放肆?
O Catilina, how many will you abuse to be longer we the patience? How many length was still ridiculed us you that crazily? When has the terminal to your that not constrained dissoluteness?

:lol:

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

四個比分和七年前我們的父親在這個大陸帶來了一個新的國家,設想在自由和致力人生而平等的提議。现在我們参加一次巨大内战,測試那個國家,或者任何國家,如此被設想和如此致力,是否可能長期忍受。 我們在那場戰爭一個偉大的戰場遇見。我們來致力那個領域的部分,作为這裡給他們的生活那個國家也許居住的那些人的一個长眠地。 是一共貼合和適當的我們應該做此。但是,在更大的感覺,我們不能致力我們不能奉獻我們不能尊敬這地面。 勇敢人,生活和死,奮鬥得這裡,奉獻它,远高于我們恶劣的力量增加或減去。世界將少許筆記,亦不長期記住什麼我們說在这儿,但是它不可能忘記什麼他們這裡。它是為我們生活,寧可,將致力這裡他們戰鬥這裡至今那么高尚地推進了的未完成的工作。它寧可是為了我們能這裡致力以前依然是的伟大任务我們從這些尊守的死者我們採取增加的熱愛對他們給最后全面的那起因熱愛我們這裡高度解決這些死者不會死在自負這個國家,在上帝之下,將有新的诞生自由和人民的政府,由人民,人民的,不會從地球消滅。

Four score and seven years ago our father has brought a new country in this mainland, conceives in free and devotes the life, but equal proposition. Now we attend a huge civil war, tests that country, or any country, so conceives with so devotes, whether possibly for a long time to endure. We meet in a that war great battlefield. We devote that domain the part, took here these person's which perhaps lived for theirs life that country to die. Is altogether the fitting and suitable we should make this. But, in a bigger feeling, we cannot devote us not to be able to offer us not to be able to respect this ground. The brave person, the life and dies, struggles here, offers it, is higher than our bad strength to increase or to subtract far. The world the little note, also not for a long time remembered any we say in here, but it was impossible to forget any their here. It is lives for us, the work which that nobly until now rather, will devote here them to fight here to advance has completed. Still it rather is could here devote for us before is the deep love which from these the great duty we honored the dead who we adopt increase to them to give the comprehensive that cause to deeply love here to solve these dead finally not to die highly in is proud this country, under God, will have the new birth freedom and people's government, by the people, the people, will eliminate from the Earth.


this one went German->English->Chinese->English->German.

Die Engländer behaupten, das deutsche Volk wehrt sich gegen die totalen Kriegsmaßnahmen der Regierung. Es will nicht den totalen Krieg, sagen die Engländer, sondern die Kapitulation. Ich frage euch: Wollt ihr den totalen Krieg? Wollt ihr ihn, wenn nötig, totaler und radikaler, als wir ihn uns heute überhaupt erst vorstellen können?
The Englishmen maintain, the German people resist the total war measures of the government. It wants not the total war, says the Englishmen, but the surrender. I ask you: Want you the total war? Want their it, if necessarily, more totally and more radically, than we can present it to us today at all only?
英国人维护,德国人民抵抗政府的全面战争措施。 它想要不是全面战争,说英国人,但是投降。 我要求您: 想要您全面战争? 如果需要,完全和更加根本地,比我们能今天提出它对我们只,想要他们它?
The English maintains, the German people resist government's all-out war measure. It wants is not all-out war, said the English, but surrenders. I request you: Wants your all-out war? If the need, compared to us can today propose that completely and even more radically it to us only, wants their it?
Englisch behält, die deutschen Leute widersteht government' bei; s-Kriegmaß. Es wünscht ist nicht Totaler Krieg, sagte Englisch, aber Auslieferungen. Ich ersuche Sie: Wünscht Ihren Totalen Krieg? Wenn die Notwendigkeit, verglichen mit uns die es zu uns heute vollständig und radikaler vorschlagen kann nur, wünscht ihr es?

the horror translation is this case is - surprisingly - the English->German one!
back to English:
English, resists government' keeps the German people; ; S-Kriegmaß. It does not wish is total war, said English, but distribution. I ask you: Wishes your total war? If the necessity can suggest, compared to us it to us today completely and more radically only, wishes their it?

I especially like how 'distribution' replaces 'surrender'! :lol:
 
1. JFK

2. Marc Antony

3. ?

4. Lincoln

5. ?

Yup! 3/5 - not bad :)

3) is by Cicero (In Catilinam, or orationes in catilinam)
5) is the infamous Sportpalast or total war speech by Joseph Göbbels
 
@Simple Simon, just wanted to say those translations made me laugh :)
 
Spoiler :
Babelfish is a terrible translator. I feel sorry for students using it.

Japanese: Babelfishはひどい訳者である。 私はそれを使用している学生を気の毒に思う。

Babelfish is the terrible translator. I think the student who uses that unfortunately.

German: Babelfish ist der schreckliche Übersetzer. Ich denke den Kursteilnehmer, der den leider verwendet.

Babelfish is a terrible translator. I think the class participant, who unfortunately uses that.

Greek: Το Babelfish είναι φοβερός μεταφραστής. Σκέφτομαι το συμμετέχοντα κατηγορίας, ο οποίος χρησιμοποιεί δυστυχώς αυτού.

Babelfish is horrible translator. I think participating category, who uses unfortunately this.

Korean: Babelfish는 무서운 통역이다. 나는 이것을 유감스럽게도 사용하는 참가 종류를 생각한다.

Babelfish is horrible interpretation. I this sensibility think the participation type which uses be.

Russian: Babelfish ужасное толкование. I эта чувствительность думает тип участия который пользы.

Babelfish terrible interpretation. This I sensitivity thinks the type of participation which benefit.

Chinese: Babelfish可怕的解釋。 這I敏感性認為有益於的類型參與。

Babelfish fearful explanation. This I sensitivity thought is beneficial in type participation.

Italian: Spiegazione spaventosa di Babelfish. Ciò pensiero di sensibilità di I è favorevole nel tipo partecipazione.

Frightful explanation of Babelfish. That thought of sensibility of is favorable in the participation type.

Portuguese: Explanação tremenda de Babelfish. Esse pensamento da sensibilidade de é favorável no tipo da participação.

Tremendous communication of Babelfish. This thought of the sensitivity of is favorable in the type of the participation.

Spanish: Enorme comunicación de Babelfish. Este pensamiento de la sensibilidad de es favorable en el tipo de la participación.

Enormous communication of Babelfish. This thought of the sensitivity of is favorable in the type of the participation.

Dutch: Enorme mededeling van Babelfish. Deze gedachte van de gevoeligheid van is gunstig in het type van de participatie

Enormous communication of Babelfish. This idea of the sensitivity of is favourable in the type of the participation
 
Lol! :D

And here's some LOTR quotes:

Gandalf: "I am a servant of the secret fire, weilder of the flame of Anor, and you cannot pass! The dark fire will not
availl you, Flame of Udun! Go back to the shadow, YOU CANNOT PASS!"

Gandalf: " ; It secretly employees of the fire, because that the l' flames; anor and are impossible you, in order to change over! Availl dark of the fire not it the l' flames; udun! Send back to all' ; Shade cannot ignore you! " ;

---

Galadriel: "It's what to come to pass if you shall fail.
The Fellowship is breaking, it has already begun,
He will try to take the Ring, you know whom I speak,
One by one it will destroy them all..."

Galadriel: " ; It' ; s that to come to exceed, will have been suppressed.
The stock market breaks, l' already,
it tries started to take l' ring, white vocês, to that, I say that l' after;
another one destroys it they all… " ;


---

Sam: "What we need are a few good 'taters."

SAM: " What we were necessity are some good ' taters."
 
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