A Journey to Sovngarde
A Tale for Children
By Asbjörn Enoksdottir
One day young Egil was snoozing in his room, when his father came in.
"Egil, Egil!" he cried, "I have something I need of you!"
"What is it you want, Father?" asked Egil.
"I have a package that needs delivering to the Island of Sovngarde far to the west!"
"Very well, father," said the boy, and he took the package and off he went.
As he was walking, he wandered into a deep and snowy forest. Suddenly, Egil realised that he was very, very lost. He heard a loud snarling behind him. It was a wolf!
"Please don't eat me, Mr. Wolf!" cried Egil in fear.
The wolf smiled its wolfy grin. "Do not fear, child," he said, "for I am sated on my last meal." He gestured to the body of the negro he was eating. "And I have a much plumper and more delicious meal awaiting me."
"What is that, Mr. Wolf?" asked Egil.
"Why, that fat elk over there."
"Thankyou for not eating me, Mr. Wolf. Could you please tell me the way to Sovngarde?"
"I'm afraid I do not know, young Child. Perhaps the Elk or the Jaguar know."
Egil bid his goodbye to the Wolf and let it eat its negro. He wandered up to the Elk, who had its head stuck up to its neck in the snow, as well as the shivering Jaguar lounging next to him.
"Good evening, Mr. Elk and Mr. Jaguar!" said Egil.
"G-g-g-g-good m-m-orning," shivered the Jaguar.
"Mmmmmffff," said the Elk.
"Why do you have your head stuck in the sand, Mr Elk? Do you not know that there is a Wolf who seeks to eat you right over there?" asked Egil curiously.
The elk pulled his head out of the snow. "I am aware, young child," said the Elk. "I know that there is a wolf, but if I cannot see him, then he cannot see me and thus I am safe."
The Jaguar nodded sagely.
"But he can still see your entire body! He could pounce on you at any second, and you would not be able to get away?" cried Egil.
"Ah, but how can he do it if he can't see me?" replied the Elk smugly, and stuck its head back into the snow.
"In-d-d-deed," stuttered the Jaguar.
"And you, Mr Jaguar!" said Egil, "You are clearly cold in this snowy forest! You do not belong here. Wouldn't you be more comfortable in a jungle where it is warm?"
"S-s-stupid child," replied the Jaguar proudly, "I am the brrrrrravest and n-n-noblest of beasts. I g-g-go where I will."
"But you clearly are uncomfortable. Should you not go where you are happy and welcomed?"
"G-g-go away, s-s-silly child. Don't you have somewhere to be, where you are not bothering the most noble of beasts?"
Egil shook his head. "Could you please direct me to the island of Sovngarde?"
"It is right down that path, and you turn left at the big pine tree,." grunted the Elk. Egil thanked the Elk and the Jaguar politely and left.
"What silly creatures are these," he thought to himself.
Eventually, Egil emerged from the forest and kept walking. Eventually, he came across a wide river. In the distance he could see a small island in the middle.
"That must be Sovngarde," he said to himself. "I suppose there's no way for it but to swim." He jumped into the water, and paddled away. After some time, he came across a mighty Bear, furiously swimming through a school of salmon.
"Confound these fish!" roared the Bear, "and confound that accursed Eagle who sends them to plague me!"
"What is wrong, Mr. Bear?" asked Egil, as he paddled up beside the beast.
"I am trying to swim across to the other side of this river," said the Bear, "but my enemies have sent this accursed school of fish to impede me!"
"Perhaps you could wait for them to pass," said the boy wisely, "and then resume swimming forward?"
"Why should I change my path for my enemies and these fish?" roared the Bear. "I am the mightiest beast on either bank! A pox upon these demonic fishes! I bet the bulldog is responsible for this!" he yelled, swatting some aside.
Egil shook his head. "It seems that all of your problems could be solved by simply changing your direction," he began.
"All my problems could be solved by the Bulldog and the Eagle throwing themselves into my maw!" cried the Bear. Egil shook his head.
"What a silly creature," he thought to himself. He bid the Bear goodbye, and continued swimming.
After some time, Egil reached the shore of the island. He waded onto the beach, wringing out his clothes, and saw a Bulldog sitting on a log watching the water intently.
"Excuse me, Mr. Bulldog!" cried Egil, "Would you know if this happens to be the Island of Sovngarde?"
"Of course not," snapped the Bulldog rudely, "Sovngarde is the other island, over that way. Now leave me be, for I am engaged in important work."
"What are you doing, Mr. Bulldog?"
"I am watching this river, to make sure that the Bear does not reach Sovngarde," replied the Dog dismissively.
"Ah, so it was you who sent that school of fish to vex him so!" said Egil. "What a clever Bulldog you are!"
"What? Poppycock. I haven't done anything yet," snapped the Bulldog. "I will do something if the Bear gets there. Now leave me be!"
"What? Now that is just silly," replied Egil, with a laugh. "When the Bear reaches Sovngarde, it will be too late to do anything!"
"Ah, but if it does not reach Sovngarde, I will not have to do anything either!" said the Bulldog smugly. "I do not want to exert more effort than I am required."
Egil laughed again. "You are indeed a silly creature," he said to the Bulldog.
"Go away," said the Bulldog rudely. Egil politely wished him goodbye and began swimming to the next island over.
When he came ashore again, he found an Eagle and a Squirrel picking each other's backs for fleas. They sat atop a half-built wall, peering nervously at the bear swimming towards the island.
"Hello!" cried Egil, "Is this the island of Sovngarde?"
"Indeed it is," said the Squirrel.
"What are you two doing up there?" asked Egil politely.
"We are building this wall to ward off the Bear from eating us," said the Eagle, "but we have this infestation of fleas. We will get rid of the fleas, and then we will finish the wall and drive the Bear off!"
"Silly Mr. Eagle!" laughed Egil, "Mr. Bear eating you is much more worrying than fleas, is it not? Perhaps you should finish your wall before picking off the fleas!"
"Of course not!" snapped the Squirrel. "The fleas are here now, whereas the Bear is not."
"I wouldn't expect you to understand," added the Eagle, "as you are but a child."
"I wish you best of luck in your endeavours then," said Egil, realising the pointlessness of it all, "but I must ask you, were you expecting a parcel? My father asked me to deliver it to the island of Sovngarde."
"You want the Raven, who lives on the other side of the hill," giggled the Squirrel. "But I must warn you, he is a little bit odd."
"Thankyou for your warning," said Egil, and politely bid them goodbye.
Egil strode over the top of the hill, where he saw the small hut that had been built from ramshackle stones and driftwood. In front of the hut sat a small Raven, with one eye and one foot, muttering to itself.
"Good morning!" said Egil, "Would you be expecting a package?"
"Indeed I am," said the Raven, "and it is good that it is here in time. I must take my revenge upon the Eagle and the Squirrel."
The bird unwrapped the package. In it was a small sword, that fit perfectly in the claws of its one good foot.
"Mr. Raven!" cried Egil worriedly, "Surely you do not mean to fight that big, strong Eagle and that cunning, agile Squirrel? They are so much stronger than you seem to be."
"That is where you are wrong, silly child!" cackled the Raven. "Once, when I was small and weak, they did defeat me, and the Squirrel took from me my nuts and the Eagle dashed out my eye and tore out my leg. But now I have been training for a long time, and I will take my revenge upon them! Look! Now I can lift these rocks!" The raven scooped up a small pebble in its talon and flew upwards.
"You are very strong, Mr. Raven," said Egil politely, though he knew that the rock was not very big nor heavy, "but still I fear for your safety."
"Fear not, young child. Do not underestimate my might!" the Raven cackled. Suddenly, a horrific roar ripped across Sovngarde. It was the Bear!
"It seems my time has come!" quoth the Raven. "Goodbye, young child!" It said as it grabbed the sword and flew towards the beach.
"Good luck!" cried Egil. The boy walked to the top of the hill, and settled down to watch.
"Now I shall have my revenge upon you!" cried the Raven, screaming as he dived into the Eagle from above. It bulled the larger bird out of the way, and its single talon stretched towards the Squirrel, the sword lost along the way. The Raven's talons latched around the Squirrel's arm, and it attempted to lift him up. It struggled and groaned, but still the Squirrel would not leave the ground. The Eagle got up, and swooped into the Raven wordlessly, breaking its neck with a single peck and tossing the foolish black bird aside with nary a glance.
"What a brave bird," said Egil, "Though I warned it that it would happen."
Suddenly, the Bear roared once more. He had reached the shore.
"Now I shall eat you both!" cried the Bear, baring his teeth, "In revenge for all those fish that you threw at me!"
On the other island, Egil saw the Bulldog get up from its seat. "It is time for me to halt that wicked Bear!" the beast yelled, as it paddled towards Sovngarde. Suddenly, it stopped and floundered, as it hit deep water.
"Alas!" cried the Bulldog, "If only I had learned to swim!" it yelled as it drowned.
"Foolish Bulldog!" roared the Bear, "You cannot stop my might!" The Bear barrelled through the unfinished wall, casting it to pieces with a single blow of its paws.
"Oh no!" wailed the Eagle, "If only we had time to finish the wall!"
"And now we shall die with fleas on our backs!" screeched the Squirrel.
And they cried and they wailed until the Bear ate them both.
Egil could only watch and chuckle. "What silly creatures all of these were. And such strange beasts I met on my adventure. But now it is mid-morning, and I must go home to my father." he said, as he went to make his way home.
the Confederation looks forward to the fruits of our relationship with Switzerland.
