Chaos SG

woa! Great turns as usual Chrth, but we're in big trouble it seems.
Cleaner (munterpipe) Up!
Pushover (Minion joe) on deck.
SG Breaker (Sharog)
MicroManager (pindcator)
Tyrant (chriseay)
Warmonger (Strauss)
Automaton (Zalson) skipped until after easter
Religious Fanatic (chrth)

Don't worry though. I'll clean this up tomorrow.
 
I don't think we're in *big* trouble. We should be able to hold off Qin. Samurai vs Cho-ko-nu aren't very fun, so I don't know if we'll actually be able to take any cities (although enough soldiers will be able to do so). Samurai vs whatever Cathy shows us, though, will be lethal to her. I think we should be able to get Chihuahua and Yaroslav'l back after war recommences.
 
Munterpipe said:
Pushover (Minion joe) on deck.

Helping ChrTh sand the boat? :D

Great turns, bishop ChrTh!

We'll get through this. We just need to make our neighbors happy. :yup:
 
Now for something completely different ... here is the roster ...

SG Breaker (munterpipe) Up!
Tyrant (Minion joe) on deck.
Automaton (Sharog)
Pushover (ruff_hi)
Cleaner (chriseay)
MicroManager (Strauss)
Religious Fanatic (Zalson) skipped until after easter
Warmonger (chrth)

... and, last but not least, pindcator as the prankster.
 
:eek: The prankster has outdone himself this time!

I allready played the turns as the cleaner.
Was gonna post now, but I guess I'll have to break the SG first. I postpone my posting untill tomorrow.
 
ChrTh said:
This is different from my normal turns how? :crazyeye:
Well, I suppose previously you were battling because of your religious outlook and now you are just fighting for fun.
 
The turns went well. Couldn't break anything much since I had allready done my turns, but I managed to leave at least one surprise.

pics and save!
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The tyrant is up!

MinionJoe: Cause some pain!!!

SG Breaker (munterpipe)
Tyrant (Minion joe) UP!
Automaton (Sharog) on deck!
Pushover (ruff_hi)
Cleaner (chriseay)
MicroManager (Strauss)
Religious Fanatic (Zalson) skipped until after easter
Warmonger (chrth)
 
I shall get the save file when I return home for lunch.

And then...

ALL.
SHALL.
PAY!

:evil:

("All", of course, being primarily our own slacking citizens. But I expect to cause a bit of suffering to our neighbors as well. :D )

Edit: Got it!

TONIGHT.
THE WORLD.
SHALL TREMBLE!

(And then I'll post my turns!)
 
The Minion line goes back thousands of years. Traditionally, the lineage was filled with peaceful, friendly rulers. But, occasionally, the niceness skips a generation.

At the decree of the departing regent, a royal messenger was sent to fetch Minion the Tyrannical. The sanity of the departing regent was always questionable. Even more so when messenger's arrow-riddled corpse turned up in a ditch.

Minion the Tyrannical, garbed in a rancid bear hide and with breath as green as a fetid swamp, flatly refused to take the Oath to the Throne. Instead, he simply intoned, "I'll take the job."

1550AD (Pre-turn): Engineering due in 2 with research at 50% (+8gpt). Every city is producing a samurai or a catapult. We are Vassalage/Theocracy (we're also Hindu with Hinduism in every city) with Slavery still in effect. We are at war with Qin Shi Huang. Excellent.

We survey our cities and our forces. We discover that the mechanized machines of war were nothing but a bard's fantasy. Many heads will roll this day. In Butterfly (our capital), we burn the bodies of the weak to complete a catapult. The forces gathered there will march forth next turn. We do the same in Theory, which also helps the overcrowding problem there. Chaos and English Setter are also overcrowded, so some citizens there are turned into samurai armour. Citizens building a catapult in Straussburg are whipped for thinking a catapult should take 12 turns to complete. Slackers. Complete and utter slackers.

Warriors in the field are marching south, towards Qin's lands.

Catherine believes herself to be leet. Soon, she shall be pwned.

4-1Cathyizleet.jpg


IBT: Barbarian axemen invade our pig sty and barbarian cavalry (!) approach Hangzhou.

1555AD (Turn 1): Many forces are armed and sent towards the Chinese. More forces are ordered to be mustered. But, what is this? Many cities do not have courthouses. How can the full extent of my law be imposed without proper courts to enforce them?!? A few courthouses are ordered built. Upon the graves of our own people if necessary. Straussburg gets a reorganization and a forge is started (due in 10).

Catapults bombard the walls of Hangzhou (down to 12%).

Samurai kill the infidel barb axemen.

We equip a catapult with burning oil (Barrage II) and send it towards Qin's maceman and catapult outside Butterfly. Samurai and longbowmen finish off the forces (we lose one bowman at 83% odds, trying to gain them XP). The forces in Butterfly regroup after fending off the attack.

IBT: Mao declares war! And destroys a cottage near Adamame.

4-3Maowar.jpg


1560AD (Turn 2): Engineering is completed. Everything but Compass takes over 17 turns to complete. We go for Compass in 6. Hindu monastary completes in Butterfly. Did I forget to mention I was building one there? Too bad. More samurais.

Samurai in Adamame promotes up to Formation and utterly destroys Mao's horse archer.

4-4horsemeat.jpg


Hangzhou reduced to 4% defence by our catapult.

An army of two samurai, one longbowman, and two catapults depart Butterfly for Qin's borders. Other forces are sent west to deal with Mao.

IBT: Two of Mao's swordsmen march towards Chaos (picture below was taken before the swordsmen arrived).

4-5Maoforces.jpg


1565AD (Turn 3): Samurai south of Butterfly annihilates barbarian warrior.

Horse archer arrives in Chaos and rushes past Mao's army to try and cause damage behind their lines.

Qin's Cho-Ko-Nu is destroyed. All defensive bonuses are eliminated from Hangzhou by our catapult. A samurai attacks and destroys Qin's catapult. Another samurai attacks Qin's spearman and captures Hangzhou.

4-6Hangzhou.jpg


Longbowmen are moved down from the hills to defend the newly conquered city. The army from Butterfly arrives to late to assist. I resist destroying them all for their laziness.

An archer is upgraded to a longbowman in Chaos. The spearman is upgraded to a pikeman.

The finishing touches of the courthouse in English Setter are completed with the bones of worthless citizens. Twice as many citizens of Adamame (2) are sacrificed to the samurai trainers to produce one worthy fighting unit.

IBT: Our pathetic, worthless horse archer milling about in Mao's territory is destroyed. Good riddance. Mao's swordsmen infiltrate our gold mine. Mao declines to smash himself against the defenses of Chaos.

4-7Maofront.jpg


1570AD (Turn 4): Chaos builds its courthouse and is set to build BETTER horse archers (3 turns each). English Setter completes its courthouse as well and it told to build... Can E.S. not build anything in less than 6 turns?!? Unacceptable!

They are producing WAY too much food. We tell them to mind the hills instead. Horse archers in 4 turns. Their speed will be useful. Or they will die. Either way.

Adamame finishes samurai and starts a catapult for support.

Irish Setter finishes a pikeman and starts a courthouse. The swordsman there is awoken and sent west towards Mao.

Forces move towards their respective goals, for if they refuse, they will be killed as examples.

IBT: Our gold mine is destroyed. A catapult defends against a Cho-Ko-Nu. Elephants attack Hangzhou and destroy a longbowman, but the city holds. Qin adopts Theocracy.

1575AD (Turn 5): A worthless samurai loses to Qin's maceman/catapult approaching Hangzhou. Others must divert to finish the job. The army disperses to mop up Qin's forces around Hangzhou.

Near Chaos, our samurai waste Mao's swordsman. Some catapults (w/ Barrage II) arrive and charge Mao's army. Much collateral damage is done. A samurai destroys an escorting horse archer with no injuries at all.

4-8Chaosfight.jpg


IBT: Cho-Ko-Nu defeats a samurai. More elephants from Qin. Hangzhou holds.

1580AD (Turn 6): Samurai ready in Theory. More catapults! Catapult in Adamame. More samurai!

Two samurai discover Chengdu out west of Adamame. It is well defended. The samurai there are told to learn Woodsman I and resort to guerilla tactics.

4-9Chengdu.jpg


A samurai in Theory upgrades to Formation and charges one of Qin's elephants. The beast dies before it can destroy our iron mine. To celebrate, the severely wounded samurai (1.2) makes elephant foot garbage cans for their lord and tyrant. Me.

Near Chaos:
A samurai destroys a Cho-Ko-Nu. A catapult is "encouraged" to attack Mao's stack south of the city. It causes collateral damage and survives, as any good unit should. We are pleased.

Near Hangzhou:
A samurai destroys a catapult. Forces rally for the defense of Hangzhou.

IBT: Horse archers ambush a catapult near Adamame. Victoria shows up wanting to trade us Compass and 50 gold for our Paper. Compass is due in 1 turn. We try "negotiation". She has NOTHING else. We tell her where to go and recommend she wear asbestos knickers once she gets there. Mao bombards Chaos (from 40% to 10%), destroys a mine (without resources), and completes the Hagia Sophia (in Bejing).

1585AD (Turn 7): Samurai in Butterfly. Catapult next. Catapult in Theory. Why does Theory produce so slowly?!? We investigate. And after SEVEN TURNS (!), we discover the governor had been ordered to EMPHASIZE FOOD!!! We kill the entire administration and tell their replacements exactly where to work.

We check our other cities and "set the governors right". (Gads but that was evil!)

Courthouse done in Irish Setter. They need...ug... a library? Fine. More books for me to burn later.

Hangzhou comes out of rebellion and is ordered to build Walls to keep the blasted elephants out. THREE catapults charge Qin's maceman/elephant stack, destroy BOTH units, and ALL THREE survive. Our catapults are learning to respect our orders. Excellent.

Samurai near Chaos destroys a Cho-Ko-Nu with no injuries. The new horse archer destroys a swordsman (who was on a hill).

Our swordsman arrives in Adamame and continues on to destroy Mao's ambushing horse archer.

IBT: Mao's catapults attack Chaos and cause collateral damage to units therein. Our horse archer outside of the city is destroyed by a Cho-Ko-Nu. A samurai outside of Hangzhou is destroyed by Qin's Cho-Ko-Nu. Catherine adopts Theocracy.

1590AD (Turn 8): Compass is learned. GUILDS next, but due in 17. Ug.

Hangzhou fortifies against Qin's next wave (so far, just an elephant and a damaged Cho-Ko-Nu).

Samurai near Chaos destroys a Cho-Ko-Nu.

Samurai near Chengdu destroys Mao's rice paddies.

IBT: Mao moves his forces. A horse archer sneaks by and destroys our copper mine. Victoria cancels Cow for 4gpt.

1595AD (Turn 9): Horse archer done in English Setter. More samurai.

Samurai near Chaos avenges the loss of our copper mine. Another samurai (our seige engine destroyer) finishes off the last catapult outside the city. A samurai in Chaos emerges to destroy the last of Mao's forces near the city (a Cho-Ko-Nu).

Our swordsman near Adamame sacrifice themselves to cause severe injury to Mao's swordsman threatening our cows. Our WARRIOR (remember "I love tree hugging"? Yeah. THEM.) finishes the swordsman off.

IBT: Mao moves forces. Qin's elephant attacks Hangzhou and kills a samurai. Kublai Khan declares war. He's not our immediate neighbor, so I don't really care.

4-10Kublaiwar.jpg


Qin wants peace and offers us Optics for it (sure, we accept).

4-11Qinpeace.jpg


1600AD (Turn 10): Catapult done in Butterfly. More samurai. Forge in Straussburg. More samurai.

Our horse archer races through Adamame and runs down Mao's encroaching horse archer. And then runs him through.

The catapults in Chaos are healed up. They join up with the Cho-Ko-Nu-slaying samurai waiting outside of town.

We need some repairs out west of Chaos. There are some forces healing up in Hangzhou. A lone samurai is fortified on a forested hill outside Changdu, waiting for an opportunity to cause havoc.

And that's where we'll leave it for the next bloodthirsty soul to sit in the throne.
 
Man, that was a beeautiful and scary report Joe, as always.
It looks like war efforts are really going well, with us constantly warring with one of our neighbors. Luckily, we don't have to fight them all at a time.
Roster

SG Breaker (munterpipe)
Tyrant (Minion joe)
Automaton (Sharog) skipped
Pushover (ruff_hi) Up!
Cleaner (chriseay) on deck!
MicroManager (Strauss)
Religious Fanatic (Zalson) skipped until after easter
Warmonger (chrth)
 
Sharog hasn't been on cfc in two weeks.
Please notify us if you're still playing.
(I probably missed his request for a skip anyway :D )
The meak pushover is UP!
Get to it immediately Ruff!
Or I'll put MasterJoe on your tail!
 
Ok, got it. My first round with this game. Now I will show you all how it should have been played!!
 
Bye, bye Miss American Pie drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry an them good ol' boys were drinkin whiskey and rye singin this will be the day that I die, this will be the day that I die.

Now for ten years we've been on our own and moss grows fat on a rollin stone but that's not how it used to be, when the jester sang for the king and queen in a coat he borrowed from James Dean and a voice that came from you and me, oh and while the king was looking down, the jester stole his thorny crown the courtroom was adjourned, no verdict was returned, and while Lenin read a book on Marx, the quartet practiced in the park and we sang dirges in the dark, the day, the music, died. We were singin...

And so, I, Ruff the Couragous am the "the jester [who] stole [the] ... crown" and now govern this nation. It has been a trying time, watching so called rulers come and go. It is a pity that they are not here to see how kings should rule. I walk up the steps to the throne and look at all the different butt impressions that have been left on this thing.

Sitting, I ask the advisors council and learn that we are involved in two wars. Good - time to spread our wings and expand our empire. I instruct the council to take the battle to the enemy.

Turn 231 (0) (1600 AD)
Chaos finishes: Horse Archer

IBT:
While defending, Horse Archer defeats (1.38/6): Chinese Horse Archer

A good start - but I want more death and destruction.

Turn 232 (1) (1605 AD)
Chaos begins: Catapult
Theory grows: 11
Theory finishes: Samurai
Adamame finishes: Samurai

IBT:
While defending, Samurai defeats (1.28/8): Chinese Cho-Ko-Nu
While defending, Samurai loses to: Chinese Horse Archer (6.00/6)

Ah, maybe this will not be as easy as I had hoped. I shall instruct a spokesperson to be educated and send him to our enemies to discuss ending this hostility.

Turn 233 (2) (1610 AD)
Theory begins: Explorer
Adamame begins: Theatre
Theory finishes: Explorer
English Setter grows: 10
Irish R+WSetter grows: 5
Hangzhou finishes: Walls

The spokesperson is sent to the Chinese to broker pease.

IBT:
While defending, Samurai defeats (4.96/8): Chinese Cho-Ko-Nu
While defending, Samurai loses to: Chinese Horse Archer (6.00/6)

"Sire, your messages of conquest have been passed to the commanders in the field"
"What! I said to discuss peace - not continue fighting. I got a visit from a mother of one of our Samurai the other day - her child had just been killed and I never, ever want another meeting like that again. Stop this war."

Turn 234 (3) (1615 AD)
Theory begins: Theatre
Hangzhou begins: Theatre
Horse Archer promoted: Combat I
Horse Archer promoted: Shock
While attacking, Horse Archer defeats (3.96/6): Chinese Swordsman
Explorer promoted: Combat I
Explorer promoted: Medic I
Catapult promoted: Barrage I
Catapult promoted: City Raider I
While attacking, Catapult loses to: Chinese Longbowman (6.00/6)
While attacking, I hate Dogs (Catapult) loses to: Chinese Longbowman (1.20/6)
While attacking, Samurai defeats (6.72/8): Chinese Maceman
While attacking, Samurai defeats (6.88/8): Chinese Longbowman
Captured Yangzhou (Mao Zedong)
Straussburg finishes: Samurai

Ahh - what are those rebel leaders of this army doing? I instructed them to make peace with the Chinese.

Turn 235 (4) (1620 AD)
Straussburg begins: Samurai
Butterfly finishes: Samurai
Chaos finishes: Catapult

IBT:
While defending, Archer loses to: Russian Knight (7.60/10)

"Sire - news from our Northern front - we lost an archer."
"Don't be silly man. The Chinese are to the West."
"Sire, ahhh, the Russians are to the North. Katherine is attaching us there."
"Three! Three! We are now in three battles. Contact these people and get this situation resolved. I WANT PEACE."

Turn 236 (5) (1625 AD)
Butterfly begins: Longbowman
Chaos begins: Longbowman
Irish R+WSetter begins: Longbowman
Longbowman promoted: City Garrison I
Longbowman promoted: City Garrison II
Samurai promoted: Combat II
Samurai promoted: Formation
Pikeman promoted: Combat II
Horse Archer promoted: Formation
Samurai promoted: Combat II
Samurai promoted: Formation
Theory finishes: Theatre
English Setter finishes: Samurai
Straussburg grows: 7
Hangzhou's borders expand

"Have you seen the back of this thrown? There is a neat little cupboard for holding the royal seal and signet ring."
"Yes Sire, very nice - you need to know that we might lose Irish R+W Setter soon to the Katherine. Here is the latest intelligence ..."
chaossc0079nw.jpg


IBT:
While defending, Longbowman defeats (4.32/6): Russian Catapult
While defending, Longbowman defeats (1.20/6): Russian Catapult
While defending, Pikeman defeats (0.66/6): Russian Catapult
While defending, Samurai defeats (5.12/8): Russian Knight
While defending, Sharp as a (Archer) loses to: Russian Knight (10.00/10)
While defending, Longbowman loses to: Russian Knight (6.20/10)
While defending, Pikeman loses to: Russian Knight (7.70/10)
Irish R+WSetter lost

Turn 237 (6) (1630 AD)
Theory begins: Longbowman
English Setter begins: Pikeman
Marble (Longbowman) promoted: City Garrison I
Butterfly grows: 12
Adamame finishes: Theatre

"Sire, I can report that the Chinese are finally talking to us. The Russians and the Mongals are still not talk and so those wars continue."
"Great news. Offer the Chinese 260gp, 10gp per turn and our world map for peace. Offer anything - just sign a peace treaty. Also, I want all offensive promotions stopped. Do nothing to anger the Russians or the Mongals. We must show that we want peace by stop building military. Start building ... oh, I don't know ... theatres."

Turn 238 (7) (1635 AD)
Adamame begins: Catapult
Yangzhou begins: Walls
Horse Archer promoted: Combat II
Butterfly finishes: Longbowman
Theory finishes: Longbowman
English Setter grows: 11

"Sire - we are at peace with the Chinese. They gave us what you demanded for peace."
"They ... gave ... us ... what ... we ... demanded ... ??? We were meant to give that stuff to them. Doesn't anyone listen to me?"

Turn 239 (8) (1640 AD)
Butterfly begins: Pikeman
Theory begins: Pikeman
Longbowman promoted: City Garrison I
Longbowman promoted: City Garrison II
Samurai promoted: Formation
Samurai promoted: Combat II
Samurai promoted: Formation
Ouch - pocked myself (Longbowman) promoted: City Garrison II
Longbowman promoted: City Garrison I
Longbowman promoted: City Garrison II
Samurai promoted: Combat II
Samurai promoted: Formation
Longbowman promoted: City Garrison I
Longbowman promoted: City Garrison II
Chaos finishes: Longbowman
Straussburg finishes: Samurai

IBT:
While defending, Samurai defeats (2.88/8): Russian Knight
While defending, Light of ... fat chance (Pikeman) defeats (2.16/6): Russian Knight
While defending, Samurai defeats (0.80/8): Russian Knight

Turn 240 (9) (1645 AD)
Chaos begins: Pikeman
Straussburg begins: Pikeman
Straussburg begins: Walls
Samurai promoted: Combat II
Samurai promoted: Formation
Samurai promoted: Combat II
Theory grows: 12
Hangzhou finishes: Theatre

IBT:
While defending, Samurai defeats (6.64/8): Russian Knight
While defending, Longbowman defeats (3.12/6): Russian Maceman
Hinduism has spread: Yangzhou

Turn 241 (10) (1650 AD)
Hangzhou begins: Pikeman
Catapult promoted: Combat II
Butterfly finishes: Pikeman
Theory finishes: Pikeman
Straussburg finishes: Walls

"Sire - Elizabeth is here and is seeking to swap world maps. We finally see this whole world."
chaossc0087sl.jpg

chaossc0095qg.jpg

"Sire, I can report that the intelligence team have constructed a scale model of our land."
"This is great. With this, I can understand where our units are and where the Russian units are. Is this right - the Russians are deep in our land and seem to be by-passing the cities. Are we still at war? I thought we had signed peace. Wow - this model is so life like. I can move these units here and put them on the same spot as the Russian units."
"Sire - moving those units issues orders to attack the Russians - this is an interactive model"
"Ahhh - sorry, I hear my mother calling me - got to go now - I will be back ... um ... later."

Turn 242 (11) (1655 AD)
Butterfly begins: Pikeman
Theory begins: Pikeman
Straussburg begins: Longbowman
Pikeman promoted: Combat II
Pikeman promoted: Formation
While attacking, Pikeman defeats (3.12/6): Russian Knight
While attacking, Samurai defeats (6.48/8): Russian War Elephant
Pikeman promoted: Combat II
Pikeman promoted: Formation
Longbowman promoted: City Garrison I
Longbowman promoted: City Garrison II
While attacking, Samurai defeats (8.00/8): Russian Catapult

"Thank goodness Ruff the jester is gone. Not only did he not know what he was doing - he rained longer than he was meant to."
 
We are at war with Catherine. Her units - mainly knights - are bypassing our towns and continuing into our country. Neither her or the Khan are willing to talk so peace is a little hard to obtain. We did get the world map from China for peace so we can see the balance of the world. As you can see - a lot of our units have anti-horse promotions and this is keeping the knights off our backs (so to speak).
 
:ar15: the heathens. Catherine deserves worse. We must weaken her before she gets cossacks!

That was a great turn Ruff. nice how you slowly adapt to the lowlyness of the pushover. I guess you could justify excessive warring being acts of a pushover, since you are being pushed into it by the AI and your advisors. Great call on the theatres as well. We really need them at the moment:mischief:

SG Breaker (munterpipe)
Tyrant (Minion joe)
Automaton (Sharog)
AI pushover (ruff_hi)
Cleaner (chriseay) UP
MicroManager (Strauss) on deck!
Religious Fanatic (Zalson) skipped until after easter
Warmonger (chrth)

Things are looking well though. The cleaner is up next, and chriseay always does a great job. I guess the tired people of Chaos are shaking in their pants by now, but fear nothing. Things have changed around here. Chriseay isn't here to bully around the citizens and their land, he is here to clean things up!

Of course the people doesn't shake in their knees any less. The last time something "changed" the only sympathetic leader; the nice MinionJoe who they all thought they could relate to in his meekness, who never hurt a fly, who delivered detailed turnlogs of luv, that leader changed into a bloodthearsty :whipped: slaver that killed and made people PAY!

go cleaner!:goodjob:
 
ruff_hi said:
And so, I, Ruff the Couragous am the "the jester [who] stole [the] ... crown" and now govern this nation. It has been a trying time, watching so called rulers come and go. It is a pity that they are not here to see how kings should rule. I walk up the steps to the throne and look at all the different butt impressions that have been left on this thing.

Now first of all, great song! One of my favorites. Secondly, are you comparing yourself to Dylan? He is the jester. :p

Ok, I got it and should hopefully try to whip them into...err....clean things up this afternoon.
 
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