Clinton vs Trump NON-RD: Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to my Right

[Gori the Grey]

While some of my limericks have a serious dimension and are, I think, not inappropriate for RD threads, as I started to post the following, I realized it probably wasn't appropriate in the RD "Clinton vs Trump" thread. So I (at least) need a non-RD thread devoted to the American election, like the "Clown Car" thread that JR started for the Republican primary.*

It's about Trump being trapped in an elevator at his Colorado Springs speaking venue and the likelihood that he farted:

I guarantee you that Trump was farting in that elevator the entire time. It's just the type of person he is.

Though the rule-of-thumb says, "He who smelt it . . . ,"
Trump's lift-mates undoubtedly felt it
Was rightly assigned
To the bigl'est behind,
The Art-of-the-Deal guy's who dealt it.

So this is your site for all your comments on the American election that might not be appropriate in an RD thread. Have fun.


*I remember a recent expression of exasperation that the site has six threads devoted to the American election. (American hexeptionalism, ha ha ha ha ha). Well, those who were exasperated can all be thankful that we no longer have six.

 

[W|M]

I see your limericks and raise you a haiku:

Rubble-filled houses
Boots stamp on human faces:
A future with Trump

*I remember a recent expression of exasperation that the site has six threads devoted to the American election. (American hexeptionalism, ha ha ha ha ha). Well, those who were exasperated can all be thankful that we no longer have six.

American hepteptionalism it is, then

 

[onejayhawk]

Clowns left and jokers right?

Everyone was saying the clown car was for the GOP, which would be clowns to the right. Maybe yours is better. Clinton has always been the queen of face paint and the conservatives have a better sense of humor.

J

 

[Gori the Grey]

I see your limericks and raise you a haiku:

Rubble-filled houses
Boots stamp on human faces:
A future with Trump

Yes! Style points for witticisms that take poetic form.

Clowns left and jokers right?

Everyone was saying the clown car was for the GOP, which would be clowns to the right. Maybe yours is better. Clinton has always been the queen of face paint and the conservatives have a better sense of humor.

As I understand it, the metaphor of a "Clown Car" was chosen for the likelihood of a large number piling in, then piling out. I've always taken the song lyrics to be referencing effective synonyms, but if you (or anyone) find(s) a distinction, by all means make it the grounds for your witticisms.

So one more on Trump's unfortunate elevator companions:

As they heard the gears cease to roll,
They all prayed that the car’s biggest ‘hole.
Had not just been supplied
(Not to say fortified)*
With the beans in a Trump® Taco Bowl.

*and certainly not to say fartified!

 

[Bootstoots]

I'd like to resubmit my speculations on Clinton being a Lizard Person and Trump being a human. Also we should definitely talk about which other politicians are Lizards and which ones are humans. The fate of our species depends on it!

I'd interpret 'reptile' as meaning one of David Icke's Lizard People, possibly because I've been hanging around the weird corners of Youtube. Based on this, I think everyone has it exactly backwards.

It is very clear to me that Hillary Clinton is a Lizard Person. In fact she is one of the most obvious Lizard People I've ever seen; the facial expressions and attempts at conveying emotions don't really match what is expected for a human, which is one of her biggest problems in talking to a human audience. Ted Cruz has the same problem, as do Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney to a lesser degree. All of these probably have an older version of the Lizard-Human Interface, as opposed the slightly upgraded one we see in Obama.

Donald Trump is human, all too human. Demagoguery, going into rambling tirades, not having coherent positions, being very thin-skinned, and so on are all recognizably extremely human. His humanness is what draws people to him. Humans usually like flawed humans more than technically adept Lizards and can subconsciously tell the difference if the Interface isn't working well. This is one of the biggest technical problems we they are working on in our their quest to take control over the Earth's political structure so that humans may be enslaved and made to deliver resources to the Collective in the most efficient possible manner.

 

[danjuno]

I still wonder where America went so wrong that Clinton and Trump are our major party nominees. We can only hope a house falls on both of them on stage at the first debate a la The Wizard of Oz. But who would have the ruby slippers afterwards?

 

[GoodEnoughForMe]

Basically what the election boils down to:

Hillary Clinton? Eesh, anybody but her, really.
*Donald Trump says something*
I mean I guess Hillary is alright.
*Trump says something again*
Go Hillary!
*Trump speaks again*
I'm with HER yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[W|M]

Hillary Clinton:
Wife of former President,
Is Lesser Evil

 

[tetley]

What about their impersonators? I see Hillary has been impersonated by 9 different people, and Kristen Wiig is not one of them. What gives? Kristen would be awesome.

 

[GoodEnoughForMe]

Jill Stein implied Wi-Fi causes cancer, and has previously waffled on subjects of vaccines and homeopathy, so the Green Party is doing their best to also put forth their worst candidate.

 

[danjuno]

By your above logic, her own views are irrelevant because of other people in the race.

 

[GoodEnoughForMe]

By your above logic, her own views are irrelevant because of other people in the race.

Maybe! I don't know yet. I have, sadly, 3 months to go of endless political drama to decide.

 

[danjuno]

Believe me, I would rather have someone like Rocky Anderson or Kshama Sawant to vote for, but, I live in WV, so the Greens are what I have to work with as a left-wing independent.

 

[Lexicus]

I can't vote for the Greens because of Stein's stance on homeopathy and vaccines and stuff.

 

[sophie]

I can't vote for the Greens because of Stein's stance on homeopathy and vaccines and stuff.

same.

 

[Zkribbler]

For the second day in a row, nude pictures of Melania Trump are appearing on the cover of the New York Post. At least someone in that family has nothing to hide.

 

[W|M]

Trump is a pervert
He would like to have his way
With his rich daughters

 

[tetley]

I chalk that up to Trump stupidity. I don't think Trump is a pervert--I think that was just political incorrectness gone way overboard when he said he would want to do his daughter, too, if they weren't related. I'll put a check mark in the "stupid" column; not the "pervert" column.

 

[Bootstoots]

I can't vote for the Greens because of Stein's stance on homeopathy and vaccines and stuff.

As far as I can tell, this isn't actually true - Stein doesn't actually have anti vaccine or pro-homeopathy views. It still does have a large grain of truth to it as follows: if pressed on vaccines or homeopathy, she will give a long-winded evasion involving something about the pervasive (and largely justified) distrust of the medical system. This is because, at the end of the day, even candidates who would be lucky to get 2% of the vote are still politicians and have to win all the votes they can. The Green Party does include a substantial contingent of left-wingers with delusional beliefs, and she can't alienate them without losing votes. So the result is a long-winded evasion on something that should be extremely straightforward.

I think there's some notion that third-party candidates are supposed to be "pure" and not succumb to political pressure to appease different groups of voters, but this is dumb and only further serves to marginalize them. The Libertarians are coming to more or less the same realization, and they are doing better (still single-digit in the polls, but better) now that they're selecting actual politicians rather than ideologues.

Stein ultimately appeals to me more than Clinton, especially given that the latter's foreign policy hawkishness seems if anything to be getting worse. I live in a safe state, so there's no particularly good reason for me not to vote for Stein.

 

[W|M]

I chalk that up to Trump stupidity. I don't think Trump is a pervert--I think that was just political incorrectness gone way overboard when he said he would want to do his daughter, too, if they weren't related. I'll put a check mark in the "stupid" column; not the "pervert" column.

Anti-PC has
Gone mad; Excessive macho
Culture is quite strange