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December World - game thread

Discussion in 'Imperium OffTopicum' started by Ahigin, Aug 7, 2017.

  1. J.K. Stockholme

    J.K. Stockholme Right Opposition

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2011
    Messages:
    1,098
    Location:
    Canada
    Signed,
    President of the Union of North-America
     
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  2. Ahigin

    Ahigin Emperor

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2013
    Messages:
    1,494
    Location:
    Chicago
    Your wish is granted.
     
  3. Seon

    Seon Not An Evil Liar

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2009
    Messages:
    7,688
    Location:
    Not Lying through my teeth
    there was nothing to be sad about

    an excerpt from a book
    ..."My world ended long ago. Humanity as I knew it had ceased to exist, and now disappeared without a single trace. The gods they believed in died, and the Churches were raised to be their tombs. After a while, chaos turned back into order, and all became quiet. All I can do now is to dream, for I am so, so tired..."

    ...........................
    a story of a lensmaker

    She made lenses when she was alone at night, refining the designs and adding new innovations when she could. Business was good, and her days were filled with meetings, handling new orders, and planning expansions for the workshop to spend on innovative design process. The kids fresh off of college that she hired to help were good, but she wasn't content with being just a manager in the workshop. She was a designer before, and she continued her work still.

    Her desk was littered with letters, postcards, and thank you notes--from military officials and soldiers at the front, giving credit to her inventions for various battles, engagements, lives saved, enemies killed. She had... mixed feelings about these letters. She disliked war. She disliked losses She made scopes, sights, and lenses for war, but glass, mirrors, and lenses were her passion. She felt pride when she handled her product and inventions. Her purpose may have been misplaced but the work was something that she could be happy with.

    She had to live. Her dreams were filled with bodies of dying men lying in the open because none could work up the courage to walk on the streets, but she had to live, and her work was her life.

    There was nothing to be sad about.

    .........................

    an excerpt from a book (cont...)

    ...I used to have a sister, when I was a child. I don't quite remember her anymore--perhaps I was too little to understand, or perhaps I simply blocked out her memories. Her name was Sibylle, a few years my senior.

    My mother used to speak about her a lot--back when she was talking at all--how clever and pretty she looked with her little red ribbons and green dresses. She told me about how she would've looked like with her pretty head of gold-red hair, and smart school dress for the private schools reserved for the nobility. She'd tell me about how smart she would be, or how she would be popular and charismatic with her schoolmates. She would tell me all these stories no matter how good my grades got or how much it started to hurt whenever she mentioned her.

    Eventually though, she stopped talking about her. She also stopped talking at all. She stopped walking around the house and then she stopped eating by herself. Her life just came to a standstill, with her staring out the windows with vacant eyes. Doctors did not understand why--there appeared to be nothing physically wrong with her. I was just teenager by this time. I sat by her side in the bedroom, watching her waste away like a wilting flower, and I remember feeling... a strange sense of joy and calm. No longer will I need to listen to stories of just how much better Sibylle was at everything. No longer will mother torment me with her passive aggressive suggestion of how I should have been the one to die. No longer... but then I stop myself and turn away. What were these thoughts. How could I think of my own mother like this? How could I-

    That was when I saw her for the first time. Sibylle leaned across my shoulders from behind, her face in a grimace of a strict disciplinarian and her school uniforms perfectly arranged. She was everything my mother described. "How could you?" she whispered. "How dare you think of mother this way!" She drew her hand back and struck me across the cheek.

    The maid found me alone with mother a few minutes later, nursing my reddened cheek. Apparently I had been striking myself. The family doctor gave me worried, pitiful glances as he confirmed there was nothing wrong with me too. I did not tell him about Sibylle, even as she berated me through the family doctor's confusing suggestions for aiding my ailment. "...Sometimes, during a period of great change or loss, in this case your puberty and your mother's sickness..." "How could you let yourself be seen like this to your servants?" Sibylle hissed. "Weak, pathetic, mentally ill! To be seen so broken in front others!" "It'll most likely pass with ti-" "Sit straight! You are a nobleman. Act like one!"

    "So ah," the doctor said. "It's a silly question considering the circumstances you are in, but it's just a formality. Have you had unusually depressive or even suicidal thoughts recently?" he asked.

    "No sir," I replied. "There's nothing to be sad about."
    .............................

    an excerpt from a review of a book...

    ...Twilight of the Gods, named after a Richard Wagner work, is a melancholic work of fiction inspired by the author's own life, detailing feelings of loss in its various incarnations, whether it be feelings of loss of loved ones or loss of stability in a rapidly changing situation, all told through the viewpoint of a nobleman suffering from either hallucination or spirit of her long dead sibling. The narrative, as told through the first person perspective of a possibly delusional or haunted man, is filled with metaphorical allegories and author's perceptions of modern day problems in today's German Federation.

    The twilight, or the downfall, of the gods referred to in the title can refer to the relatively rapid breakdown of the old order of Europe established after the fall of Napoleon. Downfall of monarchies in Russia and Northern Germany, as well as in France and Spain, has shaken the faith that people held in the old institutions of the Church, the Kings, and the Aristocracy over the course of the last century. 'Gods,' therefore were the people's faith in these institutions and rulers that they would last forevermore in the times to come. In other sense, the downfall of the gods is also loss of faith in other things. Faith in a friend, faith in families, faith in society, faith in fellowships, all of these are themes explored in the Twillight of the Gods, as it follows the life of Siegfried....

    .................................

    An excerpt from a book

    ...the surgical scar on my chest was obtained when I was a child, the butler explained to me. The day when Sibylle died. There was a carriage accident. Sibylle and I were both dying, and there was nothing that could be done, until a doctor suggested an experimental treatment. Allotransplantation, the doctor explained to Father and Mother. He could take organs from others, preferably close relatives, of similar size and age and transplant them into me to replace my failing organs. The procedure was, of course, highly illegal, as the donor would likely either be dead or severely handicapped afterwards. It just so happened, however, that Sibylle was struck in the head in the accident, and was deemed unlikely to wake up. I was growing faster than she was anyways, and were of similar size and height even though she was few years my senior.

    The doctor suggested that he salvage Sibylle's wreckage to harvest the things necessary to save me. Mother wanted none of it. She always did favor Sibylle, even that far back in the past. Father, however, had never wanted a girl. The estate could not afford another dowry and, even if it could, he never could spare enough attention for two children anyways. One boy to carry on the family legacy was enough. Mother objected, and was overruled. The surgery would go ahead.

    "All those accusing glances mother threw at you," Sibylle whispered to me. "All those disgusted looks from her. How do you feel now, that you understand why she did so?"

    "Leave me alone," I answered back. The butler tilted his head. "I'm sorry, milord?"

    "I can't leave you alone, you idiot!" Sibylle hissed. "I'm literally a part of you! You are breathing through my lungs, my veins carry the blood to your heart. You owe everything you are to me!"

    "I said leave me alone!" I screamed. The butler bowed and hurriedly walked out. "No," she said. "You owe me your life, so I will have you live it to your full." She came fully into my view, with her perfectly arranged clothes and hair, holding stacks of textbooks that I had neglected recently. Red ribbon adorned her clothes' collar, wrapping around her long thin neck that I wished I could simply reach out to wring. "We can start here," she whispered. "There's no need to be sad. Stick with me, and I will make you great..."

    ....................................

    a story of a detective

    There were stacks of cold case files and 'resolved' cases with strange discrepancies on her desk, scattered alongside mugs of coffee and empty cans of fish and coffee beans. There were boards along the walls of the cramped office, with pictures and newspaper clippings of Hamburg notables lining the walls, all connected to each other with pins and strings. There was a sidearm, not secured and lying openly, on the table. The office was hardly up to standards demanded by the Landespolizei, but she was an outcast among the police in Hamburg. Her office was not even located within the police office to start with. It was located at a tiny room above a cafe downtown, rented out using her own funds and limited support she received from the few friends she had left within the Foreign Office.

    Said friends sometimes visited her during her work, trying to convince her to return to the Foreign Office, to aid in their operations beyond Germany. That, being of mixed blood, this office was as far as she would get in normal line of advancement. She rebuffed them. There was something she had to resolve in Hamburg, and she refused to leave until it was settled. Her decision may have been against her own interests, but it was something she nevertheless had to complete. Not everything was, after all, reasonable.

    In a particularly bad day, she missed her friends. She dreamed of speaking Chinese, Japanese, and Korean in the far east. She dreamed of mocking surprised agents with a perfect grasp of German, French, and English. These were not regrets. She refused to let herself feel regret--she had felt it when she left her work here in this city unfinished during her first tour overseas.

    No, she had no regrets here. She had to find him, and bring him to justice for what he's done to her and her mother. There was nothing to regret. There was no reason to be sad.

    ..............................................................
    An excerpt from a book

    ...the medicine silenced her voice, if only for a little while. Sibylle's disappointed, disapproving face and her locks of gold-red hair disappeared, replaced slowly by a dark haired girl in a modest dress. Henrietta. I had saved her years ago from a public humiliation when her dress was stolen after the school mandated swimming class, by loaning her my spare pants from my locker. She, taken off guard by this display of pointless charity, spent the rest of the year accusing me of lustful perversions and carving insults to me on the walls. After graduating primary schools and entering into the academy, however, we had gotten much closer.

    "Did you get it?" she whispered conspiratorially. I nodded and handed her my notes, containing my observations on other students in the school as well as any evidence I could collect to corroborate them. "Thank you," she said. "This will serve well."

    It was classic Henrietta, collecting blackmail materials on people she would gossip and drink coffee with in the afternoon. She claimed it made her feel safer. During primary school, where she was mocked for being of 'failed nobility' in a school reserved for the aristocratic and the successful, she may have had a point. In the Academies where there were much better targets for the gangs of elite to strike out against--scholarship children from the lower classes, for instance, it served little purpose. She had no need of it anymore after all.

    She had learned, during the years in primary school under 'intense pressure' by her classmates and parents, how to behave like a 'proper lady.' Her dress was modest, yet fashionable. Her academic performance was beyond refute. She socialized with her classmates and gossiped, taking care to avoid mentioning any topics of importance like politics or independent opinions when in the presence of other aristocratic children.

    Even Sibylle, who berated me harshly when I loaned my pants to her and gloated at her 'ungrateful' behavior afterwards, was reluctantly silenced by Henrietta's growth into a proper 'society' lady, albeit a completely cynical blackmailer, in such a short period of time. Nowadays with the ways she surrounded herself with useless trappings of modern day life in the Federation--newest subscriptions to whatever women's and scientific magazines, moderately fanciful dress from Pomeralia, and my little useless notebook containing all the evidence and observation I collected on the systematic and organized torture on a scholarship child from the Rhinelands--one could never guess that people used to steal her clothes and spread gossip about her just over a year ago.

    Another student walked by our clandestine meeting in the stairwell, and Henrietta pretended to be engrossed in a women's magazine--something that I knew for certain she never actually read in much detail, just as much as I knew for certain that the little black notebook containing all the evidence we needed to expose the culprits of another boy's torment would never see any adult's eyes. "Listen," Henrietta hissed, either apparently noticing my expression or to herself. "It could be us next time. We have to protect ourselves first and foremost. Isn't that right, partner?"

    I nodded. "Look into my eyes and say it. What's happening out there... what you've seen and wrote down... it's not your fault, okay?"

    I looked in her eyes, but all I could see was the terrified eyes of a boy around my age as other children cornered him at a stairwell, mocking him for letting his hair grow out because he was either too busy or too poor to visit a barber, or maybe because he had nobody in the family to cut hair for him here in the academy. All I could think of was how our eyes met, just for an instance, as he looked beyond the shoulders of his tormentors to look for anyone to save him from his plight and saw me. I looked away. "Yeah," I told her. "It's not my fault."

    Henrietta looked unconvinced. "Well, don't look so sad then. There's no reason to be sad."


    continued later.
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2018
  4. christopher_sni

    christopher_sni Prince

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    Fort Worth, TX
    Signed Porfirio Díaz, President of Mexico
    Espiridion Hector Lobo, Secretariat of Foreign Affairs
     
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  5. Ahigin

    Ahigin Emperor

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    Crisis update: Taiping Ma Ultimatum resolved
    After a confusing series of negotiations, a major war in Asia was reverted thanks to a compromise reached by the Heavenly Kingdom, Sikh Empire of Indostan, and the Ma Dynasty of Uighuristan and All Mongolias. While specifics of the new treaty are still being worked out, it's clear that it will feature normalization of relations between Taiping China and the Ma regime in exchange for a number of domestic concessions that Ma rulers will make, combined with a peacekeeping force provided by a third nation, most likely fellow Muslim Khedivate of Egypt.

    GM notes: no more war declarations are accepted past this point.

    @Ophorian , @Brougal , @Tolni , @Crezth - please make sure to get your remaining orders in by January 19th. It's better to have short and sloppy orders than no orders at all, as usual.
     
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  6. J.K. Stockholme

    J.K. Stockholme Right Opposition

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    1,098
    Location:
    Canada

    Joseph Benson Fouracre
    President of the Union of North-America

    An Ohio farm boy, an attorney for racial justice, an activist against slavery, a colonel in the civil war, a loving husband and father - Joseph Fouracre has played many roles, the most solemn of which he began in November 1888 upon his election to President.

    Joseph was born on an Ohio farm in 1846. His family lived comfortably, owning a two-storey residence and a mill on their respectable property. Although Joseph’s formal education was limited, he gained an interest in politics, military history, and public speaking, becoming a loyal follower of the newly founded Republican Party by the age of ten. Eager to pursue a professional career, Joseph’s parents secured him work as a government clerk in a burgeoning Ohio industrial town in 1861 where Joseph’s political beliefs flourished. He left his parents’ farm at a time of ongoing labor struggles breaking out along the Pan Handle Route and the tremendous national rise of the Wide Awakes - a paramilitary abolitionist organization aligned with the Republican Party. Joseph quietly joined the organization and became an active member in his time outside work - surviving the 1863 Cincinnati marches that were violently put down by the federal government. He maintained relationships with many abolitionists and Republicans for years after, despite never joining another Wide Awake protest.

    It was in 1864 that Fouracre learned of an opportunity to study law at a new college, Cornell University. He promptly left his job and moved there to train as lawyer, part of the first graduating class of Cornell. For the following decade Fouracre’s law practice made him a millionaire and a minor public personality, half his attention concentrated on high-profile cases of racial injustice, which he took on pro bono, and the other half on lucrative litigation contracts for large companies.

    Then southern slavers rebelled and foreign tyrants invaded. Fouracre enlisted as an officer the army upon the outbreak of war in 1876, fighting in several land battles on the southern front and rising to the rank of colonel. By the end of the bloodiest war in North-American history, Fouracre’s radical politics were relatively “right-wing” - he was no longer an outsider opposing an entrenched slave-holders’ state, but a valorous veteran of most progressive nation in the world second only to France. Fouracre capitalized on his newfound respect as a well-known and respected Ohioan abolitionist attorney with deep ties to the Republican Party.

    With the war lost, Fouracre re-invigorated his allegiance to the Republican party and was welcomed as a delegate to the Second Philadelphia Convention that rewrote the constitution and refounded the nation. The convention transformed Fouracre, a forceful public speaker, as he suddenly became part of the circles of national power. The end of the war and the domination of the political system by Republicans established a small and heroic cohort of pro-Republican war veterans who were abolitionist activists at some point in the past - at the nexus of prestige and honour within this new progressive order. After the convention, Fouracre campaigned for and handily won an election for governorship of the Ohio region, but his leadership there was from the start an almost open performance to garner political capital for a bid for the presidency.

    When the Republican Party collapsed in the election year of 1884, the national elite splintered into numerous new parties - it was at the time quite unclear who would triumph. By November, William Tecumseh Sherman, the most prominent Union general in the war, became president as the politically independent elder war hero choice whose name evoked such patriotism as to crowd-out all other contenders. Fouracre was cautious during this period of political tumult. Following the path of Sherman, Fouracre declared himself an independent and hoped to keep his own name well-recognized by using his deep control of the Ohio regional government to tactically insert his activities and statements in the national press. The winners of the House of Representatives in 1888 were the newly formed Progressive Labor Party (PLP) with the backing of the moderate wing of organized labor - however the higher ranks of the PLP were primarily the top liberal powerbrokers of the dead GOP, politicians to whom Fouracre was an ally and a strong potential party standard-bearer.

    Sherman was a reluctant president, and was ailing from old age - he had announced early his plan to run no-more than a single term. The presidential contest for 1888 was therefore a wide battle of leftist parties with the PLP as the incumbent in the House and the only major party with a lukewarm relationship to big business. Fouracre joined the PLP in 1887 in an celebratory declaration, was nominated as their candidate, and won a decisive victory in November, winning re-election in 1892, albeit on a slimmer margin and against a stronger, united left opposition.

    At the height of power, Fouracre symbolizes much of the progressive identity of the northern political landscape. He was scarred by the Atlantic War and is hawkish against all enemies of the Union, but his beliefs are infused with a righteous moral purpose. He is a supporter of the interests of business as well as labor, hoping to coordinate between the two rather than instill conflict. He recognizes that pursuit of the greater good requires a pinch of cynicism and strategy - and he's willing to fight if justice and freedom are under threat.
     
    Seon, christopher_sni, Ahigin and 2 others like this.
  7. Ahigin

    Ahigin Emperor

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2013
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    1,494
    Location:
    Chicago
    GM reminder:
    Late orders deadline for Update 5,
    i.e., all military orders are due by: January 19, 2018, 11 pm CST.
    This is also the last time to send your economic and domestic orders (they'll receive penalties, but it's better than not sending anything at all).
     
  8. thomas.berubeg

    thomas.berubeg Wandering the World

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    Ft. Lauderdale
    Signed, President Stone of the CSA
     
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  9. Masada

    Masada Koi-san!

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2005
    Messages:
    12,509
    Location:
    Osaka
    The Ma State, the Taiping Mandate, the New Territories People's League and the People's Protection League:
    • Recognizing the need for a comprehensive settlement to bring an end to the tragic conflicts in the Ma State
    • Desiring to contribute toward that end and to promote an enduring peace and stability
    • Affirming their commitment to the Agreed Basic Principles issued on 3 October 1893 and the cease-fire agreements of October 15 1893
    • Noting the agreement of October 20 1893, which authorized the delegation of the Taiping Mandate to sign, on behalf of the New Territories People's League and the People's Protection League, the parts of the treaty concerning them,
    Have agreed as follows:

    Article 1:

    The Parties shall conduct their relations in accordance with the principles set forth in the Treaty of Thale Noi, in particular, the Ma State and the Taiping Mandate shall fully respect the sovereign equality of one another, shall settle disputes by peaceful means, and shall refrain from any action, by threat or use of force or otherwise, against the autonomy, integrity or political independence of the territories under the control of the New Territories People's League and the People's Protection League.

    Article 2:

    The Parties welcome and endorse the arrangements that have been made concerning the military aspects of the peace settlement and aspects of regional stabilization, including the withdrawal to barrack of all Ma State forces, the appointment of an international task force to maintain peace, a commission to establish a civilian security force to maintain order in the concerned territories as set forth in the Agreements at Annex 1-A and Annex 1-B. The Parties shall fully respect and promote fulfillment of the commitments made in Annex 1-A, and shall comply fully with their commitments as set forth in Annex 1-B.

    Article 3:

    The Parties welcome and endorse the arrangements that have been made concerning the boundary demarcation between the Ma State and its two autonomous regions, as set forth in the Agreement at Annex 2. The Parties shall fully respect and promote fulfillment of the commitments made therein.

    Article 4:

    The Parties welcome and endorse the arrangements that have been made concerning the establishment of an arbitration tribunal for all further disputes as set forth in Annex 3. The Parties shall fully respect and promote fulfillment of the commitments made therein.

    Article 5:

    The Parties welcome and endorse the arrangements that have been made concerning the implementation of this peace settlement, including in particular those pertaining to the the cessation of all discriminatory measures against Han, the appoint of Han to offices and institutions of civilian governance, the creation of local representative bodies to include Han, as set forth in the Agreement at Annex 4. The Parties shall fully respect and promote fulfillment of the commitments made therein.
     
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  10. Sifaus

    Sifaus Adramelech

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2007
    Messages:
    259
    From Netherlands, Portugal and Brazil and Taiping Mandate
    To International Community


    The Empress of Portugal and Brazil, Empress Isabel, the King Under Heaven, Hong Rengan, representing the Taiping Mandate, and the Minister for Foreign Affairs of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, Luuk Van Dijk, have met in Rio De Janeiro. They have been accompanied by officials of their respective Governments, including high-ranking officers of their army and naval.

    The whole problem of insecurity in the Malay Peninsula, and in Asia more broadly, has been further examined. The Duke of Saldanha, Minister for Asia for the Porto-Brazilian Empire, has joined in these discussions. He is going to proceed to Nanjing to discuss further the precise details of the terms agreed in these discussions with the Kings Under Heaven.

    These conferences have also discussed the dangers to world civilisation arising from the threats to use force upon which some governments in the region have embarked upon, and have made clear the steps in which their respective governments are taking for their safety in facing these dangers.

    They have agreed upon the following joint declaration: The Empress of Portugal and Brazil, the King Under Heaven, representing the Taiping Mandate, and the Minister for Foreign Affairs of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, being met together, deem it right to make known certain common principles in the national policies of their respective countries on which they base their hopes for a better future for the world.

    1. Their governments shall fully respect the sovereign equality of one another.

    2. They shall seek to settle all disputes between themselves by peaceful means.

    3. They hope to see established a peace in the region to be enjoyed by all nations.

    4. They will endeavour to consult over any change in their policies which may adversely affect the territories of the other parties.

    5. They will endeavour with due respect for their existing obligations to ensure the free flow of trade between the parties needed to bring about economic prosperity.

    6. They desire to bring about the fullest collaboration between the parties in the economic field, with the object of securing for all economic advancement.

    7. They shall undertake to form a common front to stand against aggression and to treat an attack against one as an attack against all in the region.

    8. They will begin annual exercises and manoeuvres intended to demonstrate their collective strength and will to defend the peace in the region.

    9. They shall respect all hitherto existing agreements concerning the region and between themselves as still binding and operative.

    10. The Kingdom of the Netherlands shall lease to the Taiping Mandate four ports for a period of not less than 20 years, with an option to renew the lease in perpetuity for 10 year increments if so agreeable to both, being Medan, Makassar, Mentok and Surabaya to give practical effect to the security arrangements discussed above.

    11. The Empire of Portugal and Kingdom of the Netherlands give the Taiping Mandate the right to make use of their bases, ports and facilities to give practical effect to the security arrangements discussed above.
     
  11. Masada

    Masada Koi-san!

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    Osaka
    Signed.
     
  12. christopher_sni

    christopher_sni Prince

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    Fort Worth, TX
    Due to the recent actions of the Empire of Portugal-Brazil in Latin America and the world stage, the United Mexican States renounces the Gulf Pact. Mexico shall continue to remain neutral in the European and Asian conflicts.

    Signed Porfirio Díaz, President of Mexico
    Espiridion Hector Lobo, Secretariat of Foreign Affairs
     
    J.K. Stockholme likes this.
  13. Marcher Jovian

    Marcher Jovian Prince

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    414
    Could I take Gran Paraguay after the next update?
     
  14. Seon

    Seon Not An Evil Liar

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    7,688
    Location:
    Not Lying through my teeth
    From the North German Federation
    To International Community

    The international community is officially reminded and informed—Kingdom of Netherlands exists under our protection.

    Any act that threatens its security and assets will result in our retaliation through all available channels.
    @Marcher Jovian Gran Paraguay is reserved. I would recommend trying for nations such as Siberian Autonomy or Sweden instead, if you desire a peaceful start with established allies.

    Or PB or AB or Poland if you want war.
     
  15. Marcher Jovian

    Marcher Jovian Prince

    Joined:
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    414
    In that case, I’d be interested in Poland.
     
  16. Seon

    Seon Not An Evil Liar

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    Location:
    Not Lying through my teeth
    Excellent. Your current and ‘temporary’ allies in war against the hungarians are the North German Federation and Russia, both of which have been consistently friendly so far.

    Trick to maintaining independence and peace as Poland will likely entail balancing act between the interests of Hungary, NGF, and Russia, or alternatively you can take advantage of the recent NGF concessions regarding Danzig and Vistula River to access Baltic markets better and join the ranks of liberal democratic hegemony forming in Eastern and Central Europe.
     
  17. Ahigin

    Ahigin Emperor

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    Chicago
    Welcome to the game and Poland.
     
  18. Seon

    Seon Not An Evil Liar

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2009
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    7,688
    Location:
    Not Lying through my teeth
    Interlude in Danzig
    Following may or may not be a parody of certain lifestyle choices of North German Federation's leadership and its people. Maybe we really are just this weird. God knows. Except he doesn't because he's bloody dead.
    The Danzig Gazette
    The Danzig Gazette is proud to report itself to the viewers and any government agencies reading this particular article that we support both the war effort against the French threat as well as the local businesses thriving from generous subsidies and war time spending flooding the Baltic economy. As such, we inform you that the articles from henceforth will now include more exciting advertisements than ever before.

    Pierogi Boys to Open doors in Danzig

    Pierogi Boys, the first Polish chain of restaurants operating under corporate mode of organization, have opened their doors last week in the city of Danzig, where they will be serving various dumplings and other Polish cuisine to German and Polish laborers of the city who cannot afford long lunch breaks due to crushingly restrictive wartime mobilization laws, which have labelled all industrial laborers failing to meet shift hours traitors against the Federation and its interests.

    Zentrum politician and an old man named Einen Friedmann have issued numerous complaints against the recent move by the SPD leadership to liberalize racially restrictive laws on business ownership and operations in Danzig and surrounding metropolitan areas along the Vistula River, citing the loss of German traditions and blaming several prominent Polish businesses, whose assets have gradually increased over the last few months, as a reason for harsher working conditions for the German workers.

    Despite the concerns from conservative and centrist traditionalist party members within the German Federation, the Pierogi Boys have met resounding success in the city of Danzig. "It's not really our first choice meal either," admitted one laborer who refused to be identified for fear of retaliation from the Pierogi Boys Human Resources Department. "But every other restaurant along the main road got hit with half a dozen rockets and others in the side streets have temporarily closed their doors on account of ever churning black abyssal sea of the Baltic Ocean, because nothing really matters, and we are all but ants crushed underneath the ever marching footsteps of time. I honestly think its a load of liberal horsecrap, but what can you do?"

    ............................................................................................................................

    Drain the Blood. Cure and Slice the Flesh. Season and Fry the Potatoes. Feed them Sugar Water. Be Born. Toil. Die.

    Pierogi Boys. We sell food.

    Coupon redeemable for .10 Marks

    ..................................................................................................................................

    Obituaries: Einen Friedmann

    Zentrum politician Einen Friedmann tragically died yesterday night when a dozen rocket hit his mansion at city outskirts and detonated, engulfing the centrist politician and his family in a gentle loving embrace of heat and shrapnel. Witnesses claim it was like a scene out of hell, if hell involved fires from heaven and laughter of mixed German and Polish tongues rapidly driving away in an unmarked internal combustion engine carriage.

    The police have done a through investigation of the scene and have made the verdict of an unavoidable and unforeseen accident.

    ..............................................................................................................................................

    Federation of Rocket Enthusiasts remind you that rockets do not kill people. They never have. We are all immune to rockets and it's a miracle of God. If you claim otherwise, we will find you, and then shoot you with a rocket and you will, coincidentally, die.

    Be the freedom that you always wanted to have but couldn't because of the cruel uncaring chains of reality itself. Join the Rocket Enthusiasts Federation. Purchase rockets to fill the gaping hole in the heart left by her.

    ......................................................................................................................................................

    Danzig Idealism League to Hold March for Hope in Main Street

    Danzig league of anti-nihilists and idealists have decided to hold march and candlelight vigil across all of Main Street in Danzig later this week, in protest against what they call crushing cynicism and nihilism engulfing all of German leadership and the city of Danzig itself. They have claimed that by sharing their thoughts with each other and holding prayer sessions at regional churches, and finally showing out in force to march against this nationwide drip into the abyss, they can restore hope for the future to all.

    "Just because we are living in an uncaring universe, filled with unknown threat that may end all of our lives in a single moment, or because we are insignificant doesn't mean we have to be intimidated into inaction and despair by these forces!" a spokesperson associated with the movement said. "I'm looking into the abyssal, churning void ocean of the Baltic Sea and I'm not intimidated despite the fact that I know that this seemingly endless, merciless wrath that stretches as far as I can see is mere sliver, a fraction of the true terror of the deep that awaits us all. I'm not scared, ocean! You can't stop me! I can be whatever I wan--I can.... I can't..." then she sighed, and tears rolled down her cheeks as she whispered "I can't," over and over to herself.

    ....................................................................................................................................

    Unfulfilled? Lacking meaning in life? Only have the cold embrace of death to await you in the future? Unfulfilled? What is trust? Does it exist? Unfulfilled? Does the feeling of love, the ragged breath of a post coital exhaustion, provide proof of your own existence? Unfulfilled?

    Come to Boerika, land of the Free (Only Germans need apply).
     
  19. Masada

    Masada Koi-san!

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2005
    Messages:
    12,509
    Location:
    Osaka
    My Lords,

    As your Worships have requested, I have attached an annotated copy of the American Christians Articles of Faith. I see little that is truly objectionable indeed I find many of the sentiments expressed therein laudable. Nonetheless as you can see I have suggested some edits to make the Articles of Faith presentable to the Great Ones. In addition to the document I have appended below, I note the following basic outline of their practices:
    • These American Christians abstain for all intoxicating substances like ourselves.
    • That they believe there is a divine family who inhabit heaven with God as Father like ourselves.
    • That they allow the baptism of ancestors like ourselves.
    • That they accept that Jesus visited other places in the world following his death like ourselves.
    • That they accept that ancient Jews did reach the far corners of the world like ourselves.
    • That they prescribe all sexual conduct outside of marriage like ourselves.
    • That they have experienced grave persecution at the hands of others like ourselves.
    • That they reject the polytheistic conception of the Godhead entirely like ourselves.
    In my opinion, these American Christians are authentically Christian and should be treated as wayward sheep to be guided in the full and loving light of Hong and Christ.

    The Articles of Faith of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

    1. We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son[s.], Jesus Christ [and Hong Xiuquan], and in the Holy Ghost.

    2. We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam transgression.

    3. We believe that through the atonement of Christ [and Hong], all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

    4. We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord[s.] Jesus Christ [and Hong Xiuquan]; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

    5. We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.

    6. We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.

    7. We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.

    8. We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

    9. We believe all that God has revealed, all the He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.

    10. We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ [and Hong] will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.

    11. We claim the privilege of worshiping the Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

    12. We believe in being subject to [K]ings-Under-Heaven, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

    13. We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul--We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.


    Yours Faithfully

    X
     
    J.K. Stockholme, Ahigin, Seon and 2 others like this.
  20. Kyzarc Fotjage

    Kyzarc Fotjage Rise Up

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2009
    Messages:
    1,119
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Western Washington
    BREAKING NEWS

    139 Injured In Novo Arkhangelsk After Barroom Brawl Breaks Into Burrough.

    Spoiler :
    Two weeks ago an otherwise normal day in Novo-Arkhangelsk, also known as Sitka, was disturbed when the daily brawl at the Dead Whale spread into the streets. According to one eyewitness who did not wish to be named (see page 3 for picture) the brawl began as a result of a shipment of vodka from Vancouver being replaced by ‘filthy bog water’, known colloquially as ‘scotch-whiskey’. The person responsible for this sabotage has yet to be identified, though Chief Director Volya is confident that the perpetrator of the attempted-poisoning will be found soon and charged with Inciting a Riot and Gross Negligence, with the possibility of capital punishment if the do not voluntarily conscript.

    The brawl was instigated by three miners who took exception with the lack of vodka and punched the bartender. Two more individuals came to his defense and soon the entire tavern was engulfed in a veritable storm of broken chairs and flying teeth. Svestayan Yakov, a veteran of the Kenai Trade Wars, described it as “A veritable storm of broken chairs and flying teeth.”, while Jian Yating, a recent immigrant from Japanese Manchuria, said it was “A real experience. I feel truly Russian”.

    The fight spread into the streets when Kaare Dauenhauer, a Tlingit Musher, threw Makari Anton, out of the Dead Whale and directly into four of the McSweeney Clan, an old-established family in the area, causing them to drop several dozen pounds of raw fish and attracting the attention of many of the city’s dogs. Their attempts to recover the fish turned violent when several of Kaare’s tribesmen, visiting the city to purchase extra supplies for the imminent winter, tried to protect their dogs, and their fish, from the McSweeneys. Sheriff Varfolomey and Deputy Karlov Anton intervened at this point, but only managed to escalate things further when they enlisted the help of the crew of the PDS Aleut, who were in port to supply prior to sailing to the whaling waters of the South Pacific. The crew of a rival ship, the PDS Crazy Ivan, took this opportunity to spill some of the Aleut’s cargo, accidently igniting it and leading to a spectacular but short-lived fire in the harbor.

    The riot spread until it involved the entire town, including an impromptu brigade of women who tried to calm things down by beating the assorted factions into submission and a large gang of children who, in the finest spirit of Russian capitalism, took the opportunity to remove every candle and lantern from the schoolhouse. Order was only restored when the town’s garrison, led by Commander Vasilev, opened their store of vodka and, after letting it take effect, dragged the unconscious participants to the nearest building to sleep it off.

    In the end of the estimated 1400 participants over 139 people are reported to have serious injuries but, in a stroke of good fortune, there were no fatalities.
     

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