Do we live in a rape culture?

[Narz]

Incidentally, there are also male victims of the relatively few but real institutions that are stacked against men. Civver presented exactly such a case - divorce and custody battles usually do favor women over men, and there are some cases where women do abuse the legal system to target ex-lovers. Similar stories are found all over 'MRA' sites, and many are likely to be true.

I'm going thru custody hell right now. My ex is fabricating all sorts of really horrific lies about me and because it's family court it's not "innocent until proven guilty" so you can make all sorts of accusations. She also thought it would be fun to bring up my mental health history, which I thought was private but evidently when it comes to custody you can access someone's supposedly private health (including mental health) history. Complete with doctor's notes about me from when I was 18 years old. Why a suicide attempt & major depression at age 18 is going to affect my ability to be a father twenty years later I don't know but she's grasping at everything she can possibly use against me.

Men who believe women are sugar, spice & everything nice & don't think women can actually hurt you just as men can may be in for a rude awakening. Don't be dumb, have strong boundaries & don't try to save a girl (or as my current girlfriend puts it, "Don't be a Captain Save-a-hoe").

 

[Narz]

No one minds sexual remarks.
No one minds sexual touching. (TSA)
Only rape gets punished, and you have to have proof somehow? plus go public about what happened to you. (Good luck shell shocked women and male prisoners)

Really, no one in this country takes things seriously until blood is on the ground.

Sexual remarks can get you fired or at the very least shunned. Sexual touching without consent can get you arrested/beat up.

I think it really depends on the circumstances, there will always be times & places where people get away with horrificness. There are 'rape cultures', painting society at large, every household, office & city block as rape culture is too broad.

 

[civver_764]

@Narz Good luck to you man, I just went through the same thing myself. I hope you have a lawyer.

 

[BvBPL]

@BvBPL I quoted the definition in the OP. This part -- "It is a society where violence is seen as sexy and sexuality as violent. In a rape culture, women perceive a continuum of threatened violence that ranges from sexual remarks to sexual touching to rape itself. A rape culture condones physical and emotional terrorism against women as the norm" -- seems to contradict your explanation of it. Do you disagree with the definition in the OP?

Yeah, I do. Your post presumes that because you see condemnation of rape that rape culture ergo does not exist.

You hit the nail on the head with you second point. People aren’t in their right minds. That’s exactly what others are trying to fix.

 

[caketastydelish]

Could you clarify what you mean by 'people aren't in their right minds'? I have a serious psychiatric disorder and I have never raped anyone or thought about it, or anything like that, and the vast majority of rapists are not people with conditions like mine.

Sorry to make this all about me, but I tend to get offended when people use like 'psychopath' 'crazy' out of their minds' to describe people who are horrible people, that don't actually suffer from a mental condition, then it gives innocent people like me a bad name.

 

[Lexicus]

Sorry to make this all about me, but I tend to get offended when people use like 'psychopath' 'crazy' out of their minds' to describe people who are horrible people, that don't actually suffer from a mental condition, then it gives innocent people like me a bad name.

Yes it's called ableism and I'm super-guilty of it all the time

 

[Synobun]

Typically speaking, well-adjusted people don't go out raping other human beings. Because they are mentally unwell doesn't mean that your mental unwellness makes you a rapist. Someone with cancer does not have automatically have asthma. It's possible that they do, but one does not lead to the other or mean the other.

Mental illnesses increase risk factor or are directly related to certain frames of mind. One mental illness is not like another. That's not ableism so much as it is plain fact. Being schizoid doesn't make you a rapist. Someone who rapes likely suffers from a mental illness. Suffering from a mental illness doesn't mean the mental illness is the crime.

 

[caketastydelish]

Only somewhere around 1% of the general population is schizoid. I think slightly less than that, actually. Yet somewhere around 6.5% of men will rape or attempt to. This means even if 100% of us schizoids are rapists (it's not even remotely close to that) then a solid majority of rapists would still not have our condition. The numbers just don't add up.

 

[Synobun]

Only somewhere around 1% of the general population is schizoid. I think slightly less than that, actually. Yet somewhere around 6.5% of men will rape or attempt to. This means even if 100% of us schizoids are rapists (it's not even remotely close to that) then a solid majority of rapists would still not have our condition. The numbers just don't add up.

Right. Nobody is contesting that.

Has anyone actually ever tried saying all those who are schizoid are rapists?

 

[caketastydelish]

I'm saying a solid majority of rapists are not even schizoid, and that's something people don't seem to understand.

 

[Synobun]

I haven't heard anyone ever say a rapist was schizoid.

 

[caketastydelish]

Sure, but most people don't even know what that word means. But they do use the words I was describing before. 'Psychopath' 'psychotic' 'crazy' 'delusional' words like that get thrown around to describe rapists (and other violent criminals) on a regular basis, and yes it does offend me.

 

[Ryika]

Does that 6.5% number come from that college study I find everywhere?

If so, that's hardly a good source for the overall population as colleges have way higher report rates than other places.

Some studies find ~4-5 times higher rates of sexual violence (note that it's not specifically rape, couldn't find numbers in my quick google search).

Now let's see.. 6.5% / 5 ... 1.3 ... that's a bit more than 1%. Mhhh... schizoids are almost 1% of the population, aren't they? Coincidence?

/jk (but if that number's from that study, then it's still not representative)

 

[caketastydelish]

Does that 6.5% number come from that college study I find everywhere?

If so, that's hardly a good source for the overall population as colleges have way higher report rates than other places.

Some studies find ~4-5 times higher rates of sexual violence (note that it's not specifically rape, couldn't find numbers in my quick google search).

Now let's see.. 6.5% / 5 ... 1.3 ... that's a bit more than 1%. Mhhh... schizoids are almost 1% of the population, aren't they? Coincidence?

/jk (but if that number's from that study, then it's still not representative)

You're missing something. The 6% of rapists are repeat rapists. You are assuming all rapists will only rape one person once in their life. The vast majority of men do not do these things, but the minority that do continue to get away with it. This is the problem.

 

[caketastydelish]

Another thing I want to add that offends me with these 'psychopath' words is it makes it sound like simply having a mental illness is 1) a justification or excuse someone can use to commit a rape (even when I was 100% delusional and believed the CIA literally had a chip in my brain to control me I never raped or hurt anybody) and 2) that rape is something you should expect from a schizoid, when we are in fact more likely to be considered easy targets for those kinds of crimes.

 

[Ryika]

You're missing something. The 6% of rapists are repeat rapists. You are assuming all rapists will only rape one person once in their life. The vast majority of men do not do these things, but the minority that do continue to get away with it. This is the problem.

What? You must be using another study then because the one that I'm looking at says it's 4% who are repeat offenders.

Care to name the study that you're basing your numbers on so I can have a look at it?

 

[caketastydelish]

"While some of them only tried once, most of the rapists were repeat offenders, with each committing an average of 5.8 rapes apiece. The 6 percent of men who were rapists were generally violent men, as well. "The 120 rapists were responsible for 1,225 separate acts of interpersonal violence, including rape, battery, and child physical and sexual abuse," the researchers write. A single rapist can leave a wake of victims, racking up the numbers rapidly, as the victim surveys are clearly showing."

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_facto...o_many_victims_but_not_as_many_predators.html

 

[Ryika]

Yeah, that's from the same study I looked at then.

You're misreading what they're saying, It's ~6% men who are rapists according to that study, 4% (raw number, so 66% of the rapists) of them were repeat offenders.

But again, it's a study that combines four other studies, all of which were conducted on college campuses. That's not representative of the general public, that's at best representative of college campuses.

 

[caketastydelish]

http://www.binghamton.edu/counseling/documents/RAPE_FACT_SHEET1.pdf

 

[Narz]

@Narz Good luck to you man, I just went through the same thing myself. I hope you have a lawyer.

Thanks, I do, the worst is (knock on wood) over. One thing I'm learning is the importance of keeping one's cool. In our modern world where every phone call & text can be saved everything you say may be used against you & if someone is accusing you of having anger issues it pays to not react, even if inside your blood is boiling.