Dumb Quotes

[Bigfoot3814]

Except for like, five other people, John Madden is my hero.

 

[Sharwood]

Except for like, five other people, John Madden is my hero.

Who are the five?

A great one from wrestling:
"This handicap match is becoming a two-on-one affair." (underlining mine) - Michael Cole, causing even my grandmother to burst out with a "WHAT THE ----?"

 

[Onionsoilder]

One news anchor said this back in the 2008 election:

"All the Republicans have to do this election, is to win all the states they won last election."

 

[holy king]

heinz prüller, austria formula 1 commentator, famous for telling stories about damon hill's brother in law's new puppy and such while not getting anything that happens on the race track :

"the turn is very angular."

 

[CCRunner]

Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z

This is okay I hope...

 

[eastsidebagel]

Unless it isn't going from the Escape key to the Enter key, it is considered a normal-sized penis (I very much hope so...)

 

[carmen510]

@CCRunner: They're right next to eachother on the QWERTY keyboard.

 

[mechaerik]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwql6_RJ348&feature=related

 

[CCRunner]

@CCRunner: They're right next to eachother on the QWERTY keyboard.

Indeed That's why it's in the "Dumb Quotes" Thread

 

[Smellincoffee]

"Archduke who?"

Said by a fellow in my university-level American History II class during a lecture on the Great War. After a semester of upper-level classes, it was jarring to return to a class where non-history people were present.

 

[carmen510]

"A bloke called archie duke shot an ostrich because he was hungry"
"I think you mean it started when the Archduke of Austria-Hungary got shot"
"Na, there was definitely an ostrich involved"

 

[Sharwood]

"A bloke called archie duke shot an ostrich because he was hungry"
"I think you mean it started when the Archduke of Austria-Hungary got shot"
"Na, there was definitely an ostrich involved"

That has to be a legitimate attempt at comedy. No-one could possibly be that stupid without trying.

Girl at my school, in geography class: "Is Bermagui a continent?"

Bermagui is a small fishing village on the East coast of Australia.

 

[kristopherb]

"where did those chinese people come from?"
"China"

 

[KaiserElectric]

Did this guy have any relation to Charles DeGaulle?

Spoiler :

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese..." -Charles De Gaulle

 

[KaiserElectric]

Read in a magazine...

"Seawater is salty because it contains large amounts of sodium chloride."

Well, NO DUH!

 

[Flying Pig]

Ferdinand Foch, marshal of France in WWI, and master of the 'old officer who never listens to the staff' style of thinking:

Hard pressed on my left, centre pinned down, impossible to manoeve:; situation excellent. I shall attack.

Aeroplanes are intersting toys, but of no military value

Assorted sportsmen:

Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose
[In a football match] You're out there on your own with ten mates
Argentina are the second best team in the world and there's no higher praise than that

 

[DroopyTofu]

"I'm not giving money to my dad! He steals my money and puts in the bank!!!"
"I'm going to be a basketball player. I'll hit a homerun and everyone will be cheering on the touchdown line!"

 

[carmen510]

"Can I eat some nuts? I'm kind of horny- I mean hungry" - My friend's classmate

 

[Huayna Capac357]

I was doing a hypothetical trip to Amsterdam when my classmate said this:

"It only costs $x to go to Germany?"

 

[Sharwood]

"Can I eat some nuts? I'm kind of horny- I mean hungry" - My friend's classmate

Please tell me she was a hot girl?

"Oh, you sneaky bastards. **** sorry, you'd better edit that out."
Bill Lawry, live broadcast of This is your Life.