Dumb Quotes
- Thread starter cubsfan6506
- Start date
I take it we have no Now Show listeners here?
Its the very last round of a ten player elimination hockey draft, and this one dufus who always seems out of it and can't keep track of whose been picked, asks on his last pick: "Ok - now I'm almost ready - but I just have one question, is Alexander Ovechkin still open ?"
Bobbtjoe
Emperor
"So do samurais kill people and stuff"- random girl in my class after 1 hour disscusion on samurais
carmen510
Deity
Me and my friends making fun of the panic over swine flu on the MTA subway.
"Oh, don't worry, the doctors said I didn't have pig flu, only SARS!!!"
"Oh, don't worry, the doctors said I didn't have pig flu, only SARS!!!"
Bobbtjoe
Emperor
The same girl asked the teacher " Why do the bathroom stalls always smell like sh*t?"
Sounds like you like this chick. Is she easy ?
Sharwood
Rich, doctor nephew
She's certainly stupid, and stupid girls usually are.
Toilet-related, from a girl I knew in high school:
"Why do men's bathrooms always have those little blue things in the trough?"
Naturally this prompted; "How exactly do you know so much about men's bathrooms, Sarah?"
"Oh, I give head in them."
Guess whose mother and father were standing behind her?
wow...
You would think a girl old enough to give head in the bathrooms would know what those things are, but the reaction from her parents must have been priceless.
Sharwood
Rich, doctor nephew
You have no idea how much I laughed at that. Besides, you don't need to be that old to give head in the bathroom.
Her father actually had a mild heart attact right then and there. No joke. The mother's face just dropped. I don't mean her jaw dropped, her face did, like she'd aged about fifteen years in a second. Priceless alright.
Sharwood
Rich, doctor nephew
Yep. Not that good-looking though. Alright body, but her face was not good.
Sharwood
Rich, doctor nephew
Oh, it was worth it. I always hated her, and being part of the most humiliating moment of her life would have been enough to make it good for me, but for it to be that entertaining made it one of the greatest moments of my teenage years. Haven't thought about it in years, but I couldn't see her without laughing for months. May be cruel, but goddamn, it was just so aweome.Well I just got another minor over this one - hope it was worth it for you too.
Mirc
Not mIRC!!!
Man I feel stupid. What the hell does "trough" mean??
Sharwood
Rich, doctor nephew
The long thing in a public urinal that you piss in. Also what pigs eat out of. Not that they eat out of the same trough of course. That would just be wrong.
You know that chick I mentioned earlier who didn't know where Uzbekistan was? She's still saying it's in South-East Asia on the uni website. I just checked about five minutes ago.
Huayna Capac357
Deity
"You just like Huayna Capac because he attacked Mexicans!"
Mirc
Not mIRC!!!
I see now!
Book Budda
Industrial Athelete
"They have GUNS! Oh my God they have real GUNS!!"
This being a kid signed up for RIFLE SHOOTING merit badge at a Scout Camp, hearing the rifles fire every day up to that point, and hearing the rifles and shotguns fire as he was walking down the hill to get to the rifle range....
This being a kid signed up for RIFLE SHOOTING merit badge at a Scout Camp, hearing the rifles fire every day up to that point, and hearing the rifles and shotguns fire as he was walking down the hill to get to the rifle range....
