GPS to Eclipse .... Dumanios we need your email, bro!
***
Moscow, Kremlin
Prime-Minister Putin is doing push-ups on the golden fleece carpet. President Medvedev enters:
M. Привет, Вовка!
P. Hi, Dima, I am kind of busy...
M. (patiently) Mr. Prime-Minister, do you have any idea why Barbarian King thinks that you are the Russian leader, and not me?
P. Why am I the leader? Because I am! Don't be silly and tell me what you got. (Continues with push ups) ... One hundred and three, one hundred and four, one hundred....
M. War! We got a war in the Middle East! Iran is in flames ... well not really, but soon will be!
P. Boy, that was fast! Americans finally gave Israel go ahead, I bet. But, didn't we have house rules about no war declarations from Nuclear Club members during the first turn?
M. No, no! Israel did not have a turn yet... It's China and North Korea vs Iran!
P. (pauses in the middle of push up) China? Iran was Chinese vassal right?
M. Yes, yes! My guess is Supreme Chinese Leader Luthor Han demanded an Oil from his vassal and made it clear that refusal means war. Iranian pride opted for war...
P. Lets buy their Oil for coal and 30 gold, should we?
M. Absolutely! Gazprom needs lots of Oil resources!
P. In fact I am happy with this war. North Korea got tons of units which they disband the very first turn unless somebody declares a war on them. Lets wait and see how many North Korean divisions will be disbanded in this circumstances
M. Why do we need North Korea to keep her divisions?
P. It is called balance of powers, son... Otherwise America will get too strong with their vassals. Have you seen how nicely Americans named their ships? USS Hawaii -- sounds so cute! We should name our ships to one day...
M. ...Should I now declare on Iran? We can get them from Kazakhstan and will enjoy free oil.
P. House rule, remember? We cannot declare on "neutral" AI. Iran broke away from Communist block and now illegitimate target!
M. Oh well! What should I do instead?
P. Just vassalize non-Muslim African civs and Other Nations, we need friends in this dangerous world! Send a plane to Tehran to see what is going on there. Yeah, and trade for more Oil, Dima...
M. Can I have "Mr. President"?
P. Just relax, ok? Press calls you that, isn't that enough? Go get busy with diplomacy!
M. (confused and departing) Good night, Mr. Prime-Minister!
P. ...one hundred and twenty five, one hundred and twenty four, one hundred and twenty three...