Favourite Simpson-isms

[Cheezy the Wiz]

"Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots. And Welshmen and Scots. And Japanese and Scots. And Scots and other Scots. Damn Scots. They ruined Scotland!" - Groundskeeper Willie

Thank you, I've been trying to remember this for weeks.

Bill Clinton: "No, thank you, Lisa. For teaching kids everywhere a valuable lesson: If things don't go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true."
Marge: "That's a pretty lousy lesson."
Bill Clinton: "Hey, I'm a pretty lousy president."



"So then I said to the cop, "No, you're driving under the influence ... of being a jerk." -- Lenny

 

[The Yankee]

"Don't worry, it's inflammable." When the bike tire with fireworks land on the bottle. That is the only word that with in added to the front meant exactly the same as without it.

"Inflammable means flammable!? What a country...."

 

[odintheking]

LISA "You're gay!"
BART: "No, you're gay!"
LISA: "You're gay for Moleman!"
BART: "YOU'RE gay for Moleman!"
MOLEMAN: "No one's gay for Moleman..."

 

[AngryPinkMoose]

I love the "Im not not licking toads!" one I use it for everything. XD Homer is one of the most loveable characters. XD

 

[CrazyScientist]

"Dear Lord. Protect this rocket-house, and all who dwell within the rocket-house."

Also my sig.

 

[b etor]

"excellent"

 

[Chrono285]

I use Simpsons quotes to taunt people who misuse words.
When that happens, I pick:

"Inflammable means flammable?"
"Le grille? What the hell is that?"
"Marge, where's that...metal thingy...that use to...dig food?"
or my favorite:
"I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!"

 

[Trieste]

Skinner (about to be burnt at the stake): I'm telling you people, the Earth revolves around the sun!
Grandpa: Burn him!
reporter: This will make a great story (takes picture)
Grandpa: You stole my souuuul

 

[Che Guava]

I love Homer's conversations with his brain...

Homer: [reading] Cosby's First Law of Inter-generational Perversity: No matter what you tell your child to do, he will always do the opposite. Huh?
Homer's Brain: Don't you get it!? You gotta use reverse psychology!
Homer: Well, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's Brain: Okay, _don't_ use reverse psychology.
Homer: All right, I will!

Homer's brain: Wait! Are you sure that's how this sort of thing works?
Homer: Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!

Agent: Now, before I give you the cheque, one more question. This place "Moe's" you left just before the accident. This is a business of some kind?
Homer's Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar! Gasp! But what else is open at night?
Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Homer's Brain:Heh heh heh. I would've never thought of that.

Homer: [singing]
Oh Mindy, you came and you gave without flaking,
But I sent you Ben Gay.
Oh Andy, you kissed me and stopped me from something,
And I -- [sees Lisa watching] Uh oh.
Lisa: Dad, why are you singing?
Homer's brain: Tell a lie, tell a lie.
Homer:Um, because I have a small role in a broadway musical.
It's not much, but it's a start.
Homer's brain: Bra-VO. [sarcastic clapping]

The last one is my favourite

 

[classical_hero]

Willy - I bought your mutt and I 'ate 'im.
Bart - (Gasps)
Willy - I 'ate 'is little face, I 'ate 'is guts, and I especially 'ate they way he was barking all night.
Bart - Oh. You hate him.
Willy - I also 'ate the mess he left on me rug. Ya heard me.

 

[Mise]

"Stupid like a fox!"

Lionel Hutz: "He's had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog."
Marge: "Really?"
LH: "Well, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly' and 'dog' with 'son'."
(I use this construct a lot.....)

"Duffman thrusting in direction of commotion." *thrusts*

 

[Winner]

Anything that takes 12 steps isn't worth doing!

I use this a lot when I am lying on a couch and don't want to get up

 

[Catharsis]

"Cotta-hay cheese?" - Bart, faced with a tub of cottage cheese

Can anyone remember the quote from Chester J. Lampwick about a 'solid gold house'? I searched for it, and found lots of references to it (and the 'rocket car') but not the quote itself.

 

[Che Guava]

"Cotta-hay cheese?" - Bart, faced with a tub of cottage cheese

Can anyone remember the quote from Chester J. Lampwick about a 'solid gold house'? I searched for it, and found lots of references to it (and the 'rocket car') but not the quote itself.

Is this the one?

I don't need any more money, I'm not greedy. As long as I've got my
health, and my millions of dollars and my gold house and my rocket car,
I don't need anything else.

Another favourite from that episode, the card of Lionel Hutz (kinda hard to describe in text, but you'll know it if you've seen it):

Hutz: All right, gentlemen, I'll take your case. But I'm going to have
to ask for a thousand-dollar retainer.
Bart: A thousand dollars? But your ad says "No money down".
[shows his paper ad: "Works on contingency basis. No money
down."]
Hutz: Oh! They got this all screwed up...
[makes a few corrections: "Works on contingency basis? No, money
down!"]
Bart: So you don't work on a contingency basis?
Hutz: No, money down! Oops, it shouldn't have this Bar Association logo
here either.

 

[Catharsis]

Is this the one?

I don't need any more money, I'm not greedy. As long as I've got my
health, and my millions of dollars and my gold house and my rocket car,
I don't need anything else.

That's one of them... I was thinking of the one that goes something like: 'I'm going to buy what I dreamed of all my years in the gutter... a solid gold house.'

Troy McClure: {shouting, referring to the 'Juice Loosener'} DOCTOR, ARE YOU SURE IT'S ON? I CAN'T HEAR A THING.
Dr Nick Riviera: IT'S WHISPER-QUIET!

Dr Nick Riviera: Order now, and you'll also get Sun-and-Run: the suntan lotion that's also a laxative!

 

[Kennigit]

I quote Simpsons a lot, but my favorites probably are probably anything to do with milhouse, ralph, lovejoy/flanders relation, or the skinner/chalmers relation (especially entire scene in 22 short films about springfield)-

Chalmers: "Well I should get going, and GOOD GOD! WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE"
Skinner: "Aurora Borialis?"
Chalmers:"Auror...Aurora Borialis? At this time of day, in this part of the county, entirely localized in your kitchen"
Skinner:"Yes"
Chalmers: "Can I see it?"
Skinner"Hmm....No"

or from Who shot mr burns

Skinner puts hand over "Awful (school)" in newspaper title "Awful school in Awful Rich"

Skinner:"Look at this headline"
Chalmers:"What's that you're covering up?"
Skinner:"Oh, it's nothing. It's from an unrelated article"
Chalmers:"From an unrelated article?"
Skinner:"Yes"
Chalmers:"In the middle of the main heading?"
Skinner:"Yes".

and my favorite Skinner line:

Chalmers:"Well, I must say Semour, I have found absolutely nothing wrong in this evaluation"
Skinner:"You know what they say- "Where's theres no smoke, theres no fire"

Quote's aren't exactly accurate, but close enough. And I do say these in real life.