@luiz: Fair enough, I'll concede the point, at least so far as the direct consequences of warfare is concerned. But the larger point - that women are spared of many dire horrors due to their perception as the "gentler" sex, and this constitutes a positive externalization of their social and political marginalization - ignores some rather important context in, for example,
female infanticide in China, or
sexual slavery (and on that latter point, I might as well lump in the wartime rapes that have occurred... all through history, really).
That having been said, death and dying in war is pretty bad, and I shouldn't dare to pretend that the death of young men in war is not a tragedy and, quite frankly, a bad problem. But the solution to recognizing that both men and women face problems is not to throw up the hands and say "there's no aid for it! such is life," but to oppose
all injustice.
So when feminists say they'd like women to have more political representation, better access to healthcare, and maybe be raped a little less, I don't think it qualifies as an ethically correct position to respond with "well, men die more often in war." Well, so what? What has that got to do with women not being allowed to vote - or, more recently, having disproportionately small representation in governments and institutions?
The other problem is the apparent disregard for feminism on the ground that male rights interests are somehow at cross-purposes with female rights. But if you want me to say "men shouldn't die in war as much," I'd agree, as I hope you would also say "women shouldn't be raped as much."