Frenchmen and condoms
- Thread starter salty mud
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AL_DA_GREAT
amour absinthe révolution
They should have measured mine. It would have improved the swedish statistics substantially.
Sharwood
Rich, doctor nephew
Well, I could say that's because you are one, but while you've walked straight into it, and it's funny, it would be considered flaming.
Measuring penis size sounds like the sort of thing scientists from repressed households get into.
Measuring penis size sounds like the sort of thing scientists from repressed households get into.
5.06 inches is what I've heard. It seems more plausible.No, they're saying it's average (in France anyway, overall I've heard it's 5.75 or something).
It's all perspective though. If you're not packing, just find a GF with tiny hands.
Anyway, spray on aerosol condoms sound absolutely horrid.
Spray on condoms aren't actually so bad. Imagine that you are supposed to work in overalls. Would you prefer a standard-sized one which is tight on your shoulders and hangs loose around your hips, or a custom-made one which fits you perfectly, even if you have to take a couple of seconds cool shower?
If we assume they measured 100 swedes to get the average (that's a high margin of error) and substantial improvement is 0.05 inches, it means that yours would be 5 inches larger, or double the size of the average. That would be extremely rare. Because men tend to overestimate their size, although it doesn't matter; it's the same thing with cars: a big one may make you look like a macho man but in fact it's about how you use it; I can 99.9999999% confidently say that you are simply trying to make yourself look cooler in the minds of impressionable young boys who don't understand what is normal because what they compare with is R rated films.
In other words, epic fail
Sharwood
Rich, doctor nephew
That post is full of win in so many ways.
Oh, and when I first saw the bolded, I thought for a second you were still talking about condoms.
Onionsoilder
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Narz
keeping it real
Who told you that one?
Actually, the smaller a penis is when limp, the larger it will be when erect.
Gooblah
Heh...
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Onionsoilder
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Har har.
It's not true in all cases, but because a man's muscles are actually flexing when limp, and relaxed when erect, more muscles means it's smaller when limp and larger when erect(due to extra volume), but it is also dependent on the amount of blood flow, which is independent from the mass of the muscles.
http://www.vernoncoleman.com/doessize.htm
It's not true in all cases, but because a man's muscles are actually flexing when limp, and relaxed when erect, more muscles means it's smaller when limp and larger when erect(due to extra volume), but it is also dependent on the amount of blood flow, which is independent from the mass of the muscles.
There is this couple that are engaged to be married. Prior to their marriage, the man had his fiance's name, Wendy, tattooed on his member. After their marriage, they honeymoon. While having dinner at a restaurant in Jamaica, the man has to go to the bathroom. A local going in the stall next to him also has "Wendy" tattooed on his member, the man notices (let's not ponder why he was staring into the other stall.) He asks the man, "Oh, is your wife's name Wendy as well?"
The man answers, "No, it says 'Welcome to Jamaica man, have a nice day.' "
Phinaeus
Chieftain
Did you read that Dilbert comic about oil? Fungible.
To add one important thing to the size discussion:
Richard Johnson has a problem: his sleeping bag is too large and it would feel better if it was of the right size for him. The sleeping bag is "one size fits all" like the latex gloves you might use to protect your hands when washing the dishes. But unlike the gloves it has straps going around it which tighten and make it the exact right size. However, sometimes these straps might not tighten enough, which makes a problem if Richard is small.
Don't worry; there is an easy cure for this problem. When emptying the sewage tank, open and close its valve repeatedly, stopping the flow. Now continue to do it even when the tank is empty, a couple of hundred times a day. Over time this will adjust the straps of the bag and Richard doesn't have to feel embarrassed if he isn't as big as his brother-in-law. Another cause might be that Richard's muscles arent strong enough for him to stand firm and tall. In that case the same procedure will help.
That is why size doesn't matter.
If you didn't understand that, you probably don't need to.
classical_hero
In whom I trust
I will say that there has been a recent study by bother French, German and American reserachers on the study of why a penis has a head on it. The French researchers spent millions of Euros and they came to the conclusion that is was to please the woman.. Not to be outdone, th Germans also spent millions of Euros studying this and they came to the conclusion that the head exists to please the man. The Americans spent on $10 and they came to the conclusion that it exists to stop the hand from falling off.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
l laughed har har
Sharwood
Rich, doctor nephew
Actually, he's not entirely wrong. It's not so much that it will be smaller, it's that it will relax more, making it relatively smaller. In other words, say a 6 inch penis is 2 inches limp, a 12 inch penis might be 3.5 when limp. It's not smaller, but it's a greater decrease in size.
Continuing with the funny;
A recently married woman went to see her doctor, to learn more about the male anatomy. She asked him: "What's that long thing between my husband's legs called?"
"That would be the penis." The doctor responded.
"What about the little round bit on the very end?"
"That is called the tip, or glans."
"I see. About 14 inches back, there are these two round balls hanging down. What are those?"
"I don't know about you're husband my dear, but on me they'd be hemorrhoids."
