Gelion
Retired Captain
Now it makes sence 
Historical Joke Thread
- Thread starter Adler17
- Start date
Gelion
Retired Captain
I studied history
from Japanese emissary
and my guru
is Emmanuel Durov
from Japanese emissary
and my guru
is Emmanuel Durov
I recalled a funny, true, but sad story.
During 1967 war between Israel and its neighbours, Poland sided Arabs. Still, there were some people cheering at victory of "Polish Jews" over "Soviet Arabs". Anyway, in result, Gomolka, which was the leader of Poland at this time, made an angry speech that "a Pole has only one fatherland", and if someone feels attached to some other state, he can and should go.
This saying of Gomolka was commented by either Kisielewski, who was a reknown journalist, or former pm Cat-Mackiewicz, I don't recall, by saying:
"I understand that a Pole has one fatherland only. But why is it Egypt?"
and btw
- what are 4 greatest enemies of communism?
- spring, summer, automn, winter
I
During 1967 war between Israel and its neighbours, Poland sided Arabs. Still, there were some people cheering at victory of "Polish Jews" over "Soviet Arabs". Anyway, in result, Gomolka, which was the leader of Poland at this time, made an angry speech that "a Pole has only one fatherland", and if someone feels attached to some other state, he can and should go.
This saying of Gomolka was commented by either Kisielewski, who was a reknown journalist, or former pm Cat-Mackiewicz, I don't recall, by saying:
"I understand that a Pole has one fatherland only. But why is it Egypt?"
and btw
- what are 4 greatest enemies of communism?
- spring, summer, automn, winter
I
The three rules of submarining:
1. Ensure that the number of surfaces equals the number of dives.
2. Keep people out of the water tanks and water out of the people tank.
3. Remember that your submarine was built by the lowest bidder.
1. Ensure that the number of surfaces equals the number of dives.
2. Keep people out of the water tanks and water out of the people tank.
3. Remember that your submarine was built by the lowest bidder.
FriendlyFire
Codex WMDicanious
YNCS said:
Murphys law.
onejayhawk
Afflicted with reason
Murphy was an optimist. Or maybe Kiwanis, I can never remember.FriendlyFire said:
J
Gelion
Retired Captain
Stalin asks why there is a problem with fast development of science.
Scientists: Because 90% of scientists are lazy and dumb.
Stalin: Fine lets shoot those 90%!
Scientists: You may do that, but the proportions will remain.
Scientists: Because 90% of scientists are lazy and dumb.
Stalin: Fine lets shoot those 90%!
Scientists: You may do that, but the proportions will remain.
I may have already told this one, but I think I did not. I like it pretty much.
One day, Brezhnev orders all soviet scientists to come to him. He tells them: we have to do something with these pesky time zones.
Scientists, though scared, say that it may turn out to be impossible.
Brezhnev says: we must do something about it! I phone Indira Ghandi with birthday wishes, and it turns out it was yesterday. I phone Reagan with wishes of quick recovery after the assasination attack, and it turns out it's going to take place tomorrow!
oh, and thanks to pboily
One day, Brezhnev orders all soviet scientists to come to him. He tells them: we have to do something with these pesky time zones.
Scientists, though scared, say that it may turn out to be impossible.
Brezhnev says: we must do something about it! I phone Indira Ghandi with birthday wishes, and it turns out it was yesterday. I phone Reagan with wishes of quick recovery after the assasination attack, and it turns out it's going to take place tomorrow!
oh, and thanks to pboily
Mano3
King
10th - "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC
9th - "How the @#$% did you work that out?" - Pythagorus, 126BC
8th - "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo,1566
7th - "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" - Custer,1877
6th - "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926
5th - "Where the @#$% are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937
4th - "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein,1938
3rd - "What the @#$% was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
2nd - "I need this parade like I need a @#$%ing hole in the head!" - JFK,1963
And, drum roll... The number 1 most appropriate time for using the "F" word...
"Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"- Bill Clinton,1997
9th - "How the @#$% did you work that out?" - Pythagorus, 126BC
8th - "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo,1566
7th - "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" - Custer,1877
6th - "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926
5th - "Where the @#$% are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937
4th - "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein,1938
3rd - "What the @#$% was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
2nd - "I need this parade like I need a @#$%ing hole in the head!" - JFK,1963
And, drum roll... The number 1 most appropriate time for using the "F" word...
"Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"- Bill Clinton,1997
privatehudson
The Ultimate Badass
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2003
- Messages
- 4,821
Two from comedy on Nelson
Blackadder III
I've a horrid suspicion that Baldrick's plan will be the stupidest thing we've heard since Lord Nelson's famous signal at the Battle of the Nile: 'England knows Lady Hamilton's a virgin, poke my eye out and cut off my arm if I'm wrong'.
Of course Nelson recieved both injuries before the battle of the Nile and didn't meet Lady Hamilton until after it either... but it's still funny
Terry Pratchett - Mort
Only one creature could have duplicated the expressions on their faces, and that would be a pigeon who has heard not only that Lord Nelson has got down off his column but has also been seen buying a 12-bore repeater and a box of cartridges.
Blackadder III
I've a horrid suspicion that Baldrick's plan will be the stupidest thing we've heard since Lord Nelson's famous signal at the Battle of the Nile: 'England knows Lady Hamilton's a virgin, poke my eye out and cut off my arm if I'm wrong'.
Of course Nelson recieved both injuries before the battle of the Nile and didn't meet Lady Hamilton until after it either... but it's still funny
Terry Pratchett - Mort
Only one creature could have duplicated the expressions on their faces, and that would be a pigeon who has heard not only that Lord Nelson has got down off his column but has also been seen buying a 12-bore repeater and a box of cartridges.
RegentMan
Deity
René Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says to him, "Hey René! Would you like a beer?" Descartes responds, "I think not." Then he disappears.
RegentMan said:
There's a logical fallacy in that joke . . .
If thinking implies being, it does not logically follow automatically that not thinking implies not being.
RegentMan
Deity
Well, I think, therefore I am.
Thus, I don't think, I am not.
I found it hilarious (after I spent thirty seconds thinking about it. Then I couldn't stop laughing!).
Thus, I don't think, I am not.
I found it hilarious (after I spent thirty seconds thinking about it. Then I couldn't stop laughing!).
Dragonlord
Fantasy Warlord
RegentMan said:
I'm with you on that one... had to think about it for a few seconds, then I cracked up
@Eran and Taliesin: Lighten up guys... the logical fallacy is part of the joke! Jeez, and they said in another thread that Germans don't have a sense of humor....
Adler17
Prussian Feldmarschall
Yes. That you can see from the reactions in 1870, 1914 and 1939...
Adler
Adler
PrinceOfLeigh
Wigan, England
I noticed you left the Adolf Hitler one out. Perhaps sensible given that it would no doubt be modded back to 1945 anywayMano3 said:
