How much is enough when disciplining a child?

[Swiss Bezerker]

I voted for the As long as you don't kill him option.

I do believe that corporal punishment is an excellent way to discipline. If my child disrespects me then I have no qualms about making him be sorry.

No. Broken bones and bruises will ruin a child for life. you seem to have a problem with a thread discussing sex, while you have no problem with seriously hurting a child. This is too far. Im can only think of one thing ever said more horrible than this.
Jesus would be ashamed.
respond. I dare you

 

[blackheart]

I voted for the As long as you don't kill him option.

I do believe that corporal punishment is an excellent way to discipline. If my child disrespects me then I have no qualms about making him be sorry.

I hope you learn to respect your child then.

 

[Mr Moron]

I'd certainly hope I raised my kids well enough that they'd never do something so severe it warrants a phsyical punishment.

 

[VoodooAce]

Speaking from experience, spanking works well while they're younger, but not so much when they're a little older....as a few of you have already pointed out.

While they're young and can't be reasoned with, a slap on the butt hard enough for them to feel it gets your message across loud and clear.

When they're old enough to be reasoned with, this is the point where spanking them delivers the wrong message.

What gets me is when you see parents wallop their kids and you know they're doing it not because the kid is misbehaving but because they're pissed off that the kid is misbehaving. That's a great way to teach you kids.

 

[Sanaz]

Not required. But I have seen so many parents that didnt spank their kids watch their kids become totally rotten that I do indeed think "spare the rod, spoil the child" is a good general rule. I agree, not every kid requires it, but you truly limit yourself as a parent if you withhold the "nuclear option".

My opinion is different. I believe in strong discipline for my kid and all kids, but if I was ever inept enough to resort to beating/spanking/whatever, then I would get therapy and parent counseling. I hope I am smarter and more experienced than my kid.

I voted for "ingenious punishments". In my experience (many years of teaching, plus being a parent), there is always a better option than violence. Violence teaches violence, it teaches the kid that dad has no more tricks up his sleave, that dad isn't in control but the kid is, etc. The only possible "benefit" I can see is that the parent feels a little bit of control in a situation that he's lost control of.

My emphasis is on strong long-term discipline, not on short-term obedience. I want to raise a kid and a family, not a dog.

 

[Tycoon101]

No. Broken bones and bruises will ruin a child for life. you seem to have a problem with a thread discussing sex, while you have no problem with seriously hurting a child. This is too far. Im can only think of one thing ever said more horrible than this.
Jesus would be ashamed.
respond. I dare you

Ha! I respond! I know that I am a very warped person in that I abhor unmarried sex, while I am willing to hurt. As long as they respect me and fear me I will not resort to extremes. But if they do something that makes me very angry I will have no qualms about giving them a fitting punishment.

I hope you learn to respect your child then.

I will respect them as long as they respect me. Respect must be mutual after the child respects. Adults deserve respect, and I will not tolerate a disrespectful child, THAT is moredestructive than a fitting punishment. If they disobey me then I have no fear to respect their descision.

 

[odintheking]

To be a good parent, you have to make the kid see why what he did was wrong. Then he has to apologize for what he did, to the person he wronged. It's that simple. But, taking away video games, etc. will show them that they can't just get away with everything. There's not really need for often or horrible punishment if the kid was raised well, and knows what he did was wrong, and feels bad about it.

 

[mrtn]

Spanking is illegal*, and that's a jolly good thing.

*Maybe not where you live, but in civilized countries.

 

[Tycoon101]

Spanking is illegal*, and that's a jolly good thing.

*Maybe not where you live, but in civilized countries.

Then America is uncivilized?

I do think that it is legal to spank children in America.

Or was that remark sarcastic?

 

[blackheart]

Ha! I respond! I know that I am a very warped person in that I abhor unmarried sex, while I am willing to hurt. As long as they respect me and fear me I will not resort to extremes. But if they do something that makes me very angry I will have no qualms about giving them a fitting punishment.

This comes from the deepest depths of my heart: I hope you are shown, inch for inch, what your so-called respect will reap you later in old age when you are decrepid and at the mercy of your own methods.

I will respect them as long as they respect me. Respect must be mutual after the child respects. Adults deserve respect, and I will not tolerate a disrespectful child, THAT is moredestructive than a fitting punishment. If they disobey me then I have no fear to respect their descision.

I'm going to say you're not mature enough to understand what respect even is. Do you honestly expect a five year old to have the same concept of respect as you do?

 

[downtown]

My dad only hit me once in his entire life. Once he spanked me, instead of crying, I just looked at him for a while. It freaked my poor dad out, and he cried that night...and neither of my folks ever hit me again.

That doesnt mean I wasnt punished, cause I was sort of a problem child. I lost privileges out the wazoo, did extra chores, etc etc....worked out alright for me.

I'm not really opposed to light spanking at an early age, but I really dont think its very effective...if it is to be used, it ought to be *really* rare. I think my folks did a pretty goob job rasing me, and I hope I do the same when I'm a parent.

 

[odintheking]

@Tycoon - Why do you want your kids to fear you? A parent isn't God, or a militant, or anything else that should be feared. You should be more concentrated on mutual love than on mutual respect.

 

[Narz]

The best way (as always) is preventitively medicine. Don't get into it with your kid in the first place. Except him to do the right thing and more often than not he will. If he does disobey simply tell him you dissapprove, withdraw yourself somewhat (not your love, just your physical presence). No one likes to be ignored. He/she will try to win you back for sure.

Hitting your kids is never ok. Yelling at them is also pretty stupid (they just resent you). If you must restrict their access to your possessions (like the computer for example) that is fine (that will teach them to appreciate them) but "grounding" and such is idiotic. The kid will just climb out the window if he really wants to get away.

Again, the best way is to not set up a "me vs. my inherently bad/sinful child" in the first place. Set up your household based on mutual love, trust and respect.

 

[Tycoon101]

I'm going to say you're not mature enough to understand what respect even is. Do you honestly expect a five year old to have the same concept of respect as you do?

They shall be taught what respect is. They will learn respect. And didn't say that a large punishment would go to a YOUNG child I'm thinking along the lines of a teen who is disrespectful.


I've very pessimistic, thus I do not think in terms of love, I think in terms of lack of respect. Thus I have a very skewed way of thinking.

 

[mrtn]

Then America is uncivilized?

I do think that it is legal to spank children in America.

Or was that remark sarcastic?

Yes, America is uncivilized. No sarcasm intended.

 

[.Shane.]

I've very pessimistic, thus I do not think in terms of love, I think in terms of lack of respect. Thus I have a very skewed way of thinking.

Yes, you do. If this is really how you view life, get some counseling.

How old are you?

 

[blackheart]

I've very pessimistic, thus I do not think in terms of love, I think in terms of lack of respect. Thus I have a very skewed way of thinking.

Then you should rethink having any kids and seek professional advice.

 

[Xanikk999]

Yes, America is uncivilized. No sarcasm intended.

Maybe in some places but definitly not as a whole.
Its hard to keep a huge country civilized.

You cant honestly think places like Los Angeles or New York City are uncivilized?

Those new york art freaks are the most snobbish cultured people there are!

I mean the magazine "The new yorker" looks like it has a picture of a snob on the front!

 

[Xanikk999]

Look at this. Hollywood and newyork is definitly not uncivilized!!

 

[.Shane.]

Maybe in some places but definitly not as a whole.
Its hard to keep a huge country civilized.

You cant honestly think places like Los Angeles or New York City are uncivilized?

Those new york art freaks are the most snobbish cultured people there are!

I mean the magazine "The new yorker" looks like it has a picture of a snob on the front!

OMG, how did you get that lucid of post out of your small caveman skull? Tell me, do you find it hard to type w/ those big, fat caveman fingers and does your sabre-tooth cat pelt clothing get in the way?

I think we need to drop a Toby Keith bomb on Sweden!