How much is enough when disciplining a child?

[A'AbarachAmadan]

Ram: I agree with you in general. But when the other person is too young to grasp any concept of reasoning, you employ other methods....

Agree reasoning doesn't work with a 1-2 year old, but a "time-out" where you hold them for a few minutes is extremely effective. My two-year will actually stay in place now for a regular time-out and is already grasping words such as time-out which often stop him before an actual time-out. It takes more time, but I think it is worth it. Of course, if you don't have a loving family this method would backfire into an attention getter.

I have to say I am amazed by parents who warn constantly, but don't do anything for 5-6 warnings or ever. I give one warning (sometimes two depending upon the circumstances - always associated with going to far in an activity as opposed to a prohibited activity), then punishment.

 

[.Shane.]

That story was hilarious, Padma!

If you think that was funny, I have an even better one. Check it out... It was emailed to me from my cousin's psychic's dog-training hypnotherapist.

A friend of my cousin's uncle who had just traded him a six-pack of beer for a wrecked Ferrari engine likes to tell this story which he, himself saw first hand....

A father and son are having a conversation about life when the son reflects on how he was raised. "Dad, I'm glad you taught me right from wrong, and when I didn't understand the difference, you were man enough to smack the difference into my ass."

"Son, it was harder on me than you can imagine. When I did it, I thought of Jesus and his love which shields us all."

"I know dad, in fact, I remember one time when I was in supermarket checkout stand, after work. In front of me was a punk, bubble-gum chewing crack whore welfare mother flipping through the rags with her day-glo painted fingernails, while her charming five-or-so year old offspring is entertaining himself by repeatedly ramming the shopping cart into a disabled, one-armed, veteran senior citizen standing in front of them.

The old war-hero was too feeble to do much about it, so I ripped away the rag and told that punk crack whore to deal with her kid. At this, the punk crack whore informs the whole market at the top of her voice that she will do nothing, NOTHING, SINCE HER PRECIOUS CHILD WILL HAVE A FREE UPBRINGING! I was stunned by the sheer inanity of this for a moment. Then, I asked myself, what would Toby Keith do? I didn't have a boot handy, so, instead, I reached into her cart and grabbed a Heinz ketchup bottle (I knew those scumbag liberals, the Heinz-Kerry's would be good for something other than killing babies), and upended the bottle over the crack whore and gives it a mighty squeeze. As you can deduce, the crack whore ends up looking like something right outta a horror movie, with ketchup on top. Then I told her 'I had a free upbringing too, you hippie b*tch'

Now, the funny thing is dad, when I tell my friends here that story, every one of them seems to think I'd make a good woman. It really warms the heart, pa."

At this point, a different young man, his eyes solemn with duty and love of country, in a glistening uniform, approaches the man's father. With kindness, he puts his hand on the older gentleman's shoulder and says, "I'm sorry sir, but visiting hours are over."

OMG, I laughed SO HARD at that. And I cried too.

So, next time, hit that kid and hit him HARD!

/satire tags (satire is a legitimate form of expression and is an effective discussion tool)

 

[MobBoss]

I just found this, from Silver's link:



So... ummm...

Actually, Solomon is known for his Wisdom more than anything else.

 

[El_Machinae]

Yeah, but his kids didn't turn out so hot ... so maybe not all his advice is 100% good.

 

[MobBoss]

Yeah, but his kids didn't turn out so hot ... so maybe not all his advice is 100% good.

So the parent is totally to blame how the kids turn out? Sometimes you can do everything right and still have a problem child.....

In Solomons case, the bible is pretty clear about his son. As soon as his son took the throne, the bible says instead of following in his fathers and grandfathers ways, Rehoboam listened instead to his childhood pals and ruled with a cruel hand in an attempt to be even greater than his father. It didnt work too well.

 

[El_Machinae]

So if the kid is good - the spanking works. And if the kid isn't good, you can't be responsible for your kids.

Anyway, what about all his other kids? I guess when you have a thousand hellions running around, using the rod to coral them makes more sense...

 

[CIVPhilzilla]

Light spanks on an young child will prevent them from doing it later on. Making empty threats achieves nothing, if you say you're going to punish a child for something, you have to follow through if they disobey you if you want repesct.

 

[MobBoss]

So if the kid is good - the spanking works. And if the kid isn't good, you can't be responsible for your kids.

Anyway, what about all his other kids? I guess when you have a thousand hellions running around, using the rod to coral them makes more sense...

My thought is yes, a parent does have responsiblity in how a kid turns out, BUT, even if you do everything right, its no gurantee that your kid wont make their own bad decisions down the road or be influenced by other sources. You are not raising robots - kids still have their own free will and choices to make - some of them bad ones.

Any parent will tell you that you cannot hover over your kid 24/7. Trying to do so beyond their young years will only give you mental problems.

 

[tomsnowman123]

Any parent will tell you that you cannot hover over your kid 24/7. Trying to do so beyond their young years will only give you mental problems.

It will probably give the kid some problems to.

 

[Rambuchan]

Little Kids and Reason:

Frankly, I don't accept the view that children of the age of say two cannot be reasoned with. It really depends how much you talk to them throughout their early life. If you leave a child off to their own devices, you'll quickly notice that they move off into his / her own little fantasy land. That's magical and necessary, but if you're talking with them a lot then they will share your world a lot quicker also. A world of cause and effect, actions and reaction, and a world of social boundaries.

Now if you've got this in place, then the job of reasoning with a child is made much easier. Just tonight I was explaining to a two year old about why one must eat their dinner and not jump around on a sofa (sound familiar?). Well the conversation revolved around the word 'energy'. You only get the energy to jump around from eating the dinner boyo. And before long he was whacking into his dinner mumbling 'mmmm energy', gleefully knowing that he'd be free (and juiced up with 'energy') to bounce around all he liked afterwards.

So yeah, talking works wonders, you've just gotta think a bit more than when reaching for the nuclear button.

 

[Gr3yL3gion]

For me, sent them to some boarding school, or if can't afford it, cane them.

I believe discipline shouldn't be parents responsibility in this age, especially when parents aren't setting up a good example and the lack of good role model.

 

[.Shane.]

So yeah, talking works wonders, you've just gotta think a bit more than when reaching for the nuclear button.

Don't assume people don't talk. At some point, sometimes talking doesn't work. At that point you do timeouts, removal of favorite toys, etc....

Of course very young children can be reasoned with at times. And, other times, they cannot or will not.

Plus, there are other variables. If you have a lot of small kids it can be hard to sit w/ just one and give them the time they need in your perfect world of metaphysical discussions w/ 2 year olds.