How real are you?

[Terxpahseyton]

.... not on here. Honestly, regarding "realness" Internet images seem like a total tangent. There is such a fruitful mass of opportunities to pretend either one way or the other that online personae seem to me a case where "falseness" is the default assumption all through the way. Though I feel like I need to add that this is not so much beceause people in themselves are false (in deed I personally think most humans draw a lot of satisfaction from honesty and openness) but because an environment of anonymous individuals is an environment where pretense rains "by nature".

What I am referring to is out there. To your collegues, friends, to passengers, family members, your grandma or mother or your kids. How real are you?

What does it even mean be real? Obliviously I went a head and (made and) used some assumptions in this OP. But nevermind them. I see no ground to be any kind of authority on the matter.
What is its personal meaning, how does it factor into your social relations?
What is its general meaning, how does it factor into your social relations?

Do you normally - independent of this thread - worry about realness?

Do you feel like you need to be less / more real?

Muse on realness plz

 

[Narz]

Honesty & openness are important priorities for me. Certain people (my mother for instance) can only handle so much Narzness so I only give her so much. With friends though I am very much myself. I do have a certain desire for privacy (I like to spend about half my time alone I'd say) but I pretty much wear my heart on my sleeve.

 

[dusters]

Speaking out your mind to everyone, even authorities and your seniors. In a polite manner, of course.

I do worry about this from time to time. I try to observe how i act around my acquaintances, my collegues, my family. What image do i make out of myself. I try to understand myself.

I certainly need to be more real. I'm happy that I have had the brains to back up my big mouth, though

 

[Smellincoffee]

Among strangers I am cautious, proud, formal, and reserved, though more relaxed with friends. At work I'm never sure what balance to strike; I try to be more open since I'm dealing with the public, but I don't want the place to lose its dignity. Taking refuge in silence or excessive formality has been a lifelong habit with me, one I was free of while at university -- but now that I'm back in my hometown it's reasserted itself with a vengeance. It's almost worse now that I'm associated with very institutions and starting a career, because I'm concerned about reputation and want to minimize the risk of offending someone by being too "real", because real is often very rude. Part of one of Bill Cosby's skits was to mock those who said taking drugs accentuated your personality -- "Well, what if you're an a------?". Everyone thinks I'm such a nice person, but I sometimes feel like a very well behaved jerk.

 

[Kyriakos]

Well, in the library environment i now am ( :S ), i don't act, i just present what i am asked to, with the relative freedom of wording it as i deem it more poignant to do. I would not speak to people in the library as if i am trying to make them view me as specifically this or that, but neither do i try to show something which i am not like. In general i partly do not care much, and partly accept that it would come across as more negative if i actually was anxious to portray a contructed image of what i supposedly am like.

Cause we all know i am an angel

 

[Borachio]

Is this about authenticity?

I know nothing about that. And I haven't a clue how real I might appear to other people. You'd have to ask them.

Howsomever, barring my natural tendency to pretentiousness of all kinds, I don't actually give it a lot of thought.

On the other hand, I do like to practice staying in touch with reality, as far as I'm able, and taking into account my almost incurable addiction to being oblivious to the world around me.

Does that make sense?

Spoiler :

Nope, I'm not real in any way.

 

[Leonel]

I would like to think I'm real but I was told by someone breaking up with me that I was "too mainstream" so I dunno!

 

[JollyRoger]

I am generally as real as the boobs of the gal I am hitting on.

 

[Borachio]

What? A breast-fixated guy, then?

There is, to be honest, something aesthetically pleasing about the slightly concave upper slopes juxtaposed to the convex lower ones. When viewed from a SE position, I think.

 

[Harv]

I am generally as real as the boobs of the gal I am hitting on.

Do you float in a swimming pool? Or do you sink?

 

[Borachio]

I think that would depend on the gal he's floating on. And her pneumaticity.

 

[timtofly]

Or the content of the swimming pool?

@ Thread

I am more real online, than I am in real life.

 

[onejayhawk]

Several years ago a poster stated he was having trouble keeping it real. My suggestion was to take a week or two and examine where his time went, breaking things down in as much detail as possible.

The exercise had two purposes. First, it is important information in its own right. when it comes time to prioritize, you know where there is slack and how much grind is needed to get to the good stuff. The second important purpose is self examination. Most people do not do this easily, but there are a lot of tools available to help. Regardless of what he learned, the poster found the process helpful enough to send me a thank you note.

J

 

[KevinLancaster]

Among strangers I am cautious, proud, formal, and reserved, though more relaxed with friends. At work I'm never sure what balance to strike; I try to be more open since I'm dealing with the public, but I don't want the place to lose its dignity. Taking refuge in silence or excessive formality has been a lifelong habit with me, one I was free of while at university -- but now that I'm back in my hometown it's reasserted itself with a vengeance. It's almost worse now that I'm associated with very institutions and starting a career, because I'm concerned about reputation and want to minimize the risk of offending someone by being too "real", because real is often very rude. Part of one of Bill Cosby's skits was to mock those who said taking drugs accentuated your personality -- "Well, what if you're an a------?". Everyone thinks I'm such a nice person, but I sometimes feel like a very well behaved jerk.

Hey I do that too!

Have you ever heard about imposter syndrome? I just heard about it the other day. Sometimes I think I afflicted by it.

 

[Kozmos]

I'm not sure. Sometimes I stop and think about how the whole universe is just a big number crunching exercise and other people including me are just series of numbers going through the motions. Is my personality real or just an elaborate script? Would I feel bad about being killed then? I don't know. You don't mourn the death of NPCs in a game do you?

 

[onejayhawk]

I'm not sure. Sometimes I stop and think about how the whole universe is just a big number crunching exercise and other people including me are just series of numbers going through the motions. Is my personality real or just an elaborate script? Would I feel bad about being killed then? I don't know. You don't mourn the death of NPCs in a game do you?

Then you have not taken enough time to consider yourself. You should be the first element in any consideration, but that is not possible if you are unaware of how you tick.

J

 

[Mise]

I'm pretty much the same online as IRL. If anything my RL personality has slowly changed to better fit my online one. I try to be an honest guy and will usually act genuinely. I try hard to discover and act according to my own authentic will, and avoid pretence even if it would benefit me. I just don't have the energy for deceit.

 

[Narz]

I just don't have the energy for deceit.

Pretty much my view. I realized pretty early on in life that pretending to be a certain way, even if it causes a temporary boost in popularity is not worth it. Trying to keep up a facade is a pain in the ass. I will however, avoid correcting/debating with people IRL if I don't have any relationship with them. Conflict of this kind rarely is of any use. Probably I should extend this attitude online. Time spent arguing, even if I'm right, could be better used to be learning more rather than arguing with people who have little to teach me. The times when I most think I'm right is when I should argue least because it's when I'm wrong & get corrected that I learn the most. This is part of why I tend to say stuff off the cuff. Occasionally I'll regret things I say & realize either my knowledge and/or approach was faulty & learn something.

One bad thing about online discussion boards is that people develop habits of a bad approach. Even if they're right it's easy to be snotty/snarky/rude & feel justified in it. IRL, especially with women, IMO, this is a very poor style of communication. Real life is less about being right/smart & more about presentation (which is why so many in the US don't believe in evolution/climate-change & follow Rush Limbaugh religiously).

Sometimes I feel like people use online forums as a way to vent stuff they can't express IRL (where image/false perception often rules) but this is probably a bad habit (IMO).

Edit : the problem with online forums is all the habits that are rewarded IRL, being civil, friendly, avoiding conflict (and sensitive subjects like politics & religion), using humor to deflect differences, etc. are largely unappreciated (or at least underappreciated ) online, you're far more likely to get a response being a raging nut than saying "I see your perspective", agreeing with it mostly & gently pointing out alternative views.

 

[Oruc]

I keep myself to myself in actual real life

 

[Borachio]

I just don't have the energy for deceit.

I have the energy for it, alright.

It's just that people see through me immediately the moment I try it. And I just look stupid. (Well, even more stupid, I should say.)

So I gave it up very early on.

I don't think my lack of deceit makes me more "real" though.