I like getting along with people

[Narz]

And I like life & myself better when I'm not locking horns on a regular basis.

Arguing overall is a weak life experience. It's something to do when you've got nothing better to do.

Fighting is addictive though. It activates the wrong parts of my brain though & doesn't develop much of a skillset except maybe seeing thru nonsense arguments & avoiding crazy people but probably hanging out with super chill mofos IRL is going to hone your antenna to meet more of their kind (as opposed to just avoiding hostile kinds).

You never hear of any centanarians who are constantly debating, fighting, arguing. They just life their passions & create value for their families/communities.

The "critic" is a valued social position nowadays, with talking heads on the news & even bloggers & youtubers (the top .001% of them anyway) making more money than scientists by factors of tens & perhaps hundreds.

I thnk this is sad & a trend that should be reversed. Soceity doesn't need more critics, neither snark nor swarm nor anyone's opinion on the Internet (including this one) should be considered action, actvism, active, acteria whether it's a post at 2am or a article by someone getting paid.

Certainly words can spark the fire inside others but if everyone's writing about their sparks, retweeting the "Boy who did something amazing" from buzzfeed pretty soon there will be no more amazing.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I'll start a NYC meetup soon.

 

[Zelig]

The top earning .001% of scientists are rich off Facebook's IPO, Nest's acquisition, Microsoft stock options, etc. I doubt talking heads and youtubers are making more money than them.

Buzzfeed is awful, and anyone who links to Buzzfeed should feel bad.

 

[aelf]

Everyone should be a critic. Living life in a kind of sedated, unthinking bliss ultimately makes for a sad existence.

 

[warpus]

Everyone should be a critic. Living life in a kind of sedated, unthinking bliss ultimately makes for a sad existence.

I agree.

I also agree that people should be nice to eachother and that people should try to get along.

These are not mutually exclusive ideas! It's amazing if you're able to sit down with a friend and discuss a topic - one you disagree over. Unless one of you is a jerk or both of you are, if you are able to exchange your ideas, criticisms, and disagreements well enough, you'll both come out of the exchange having learned something.

There's no point to try not to disagree over things. That would be a step backwards, unless you really can't control your emotions, in which case by any means, stop arguing with people.

 

[azzaman333]

I like being right more than I like getting along with others. Probably contributes to people not liking me, but there's so many aspects for people to not like about me that adding one more is negligible.

 

[aelf]

These are not mutually exclusive ideas! It's amazing if you're able to sit down with a friend and discuss a topic - one you disagree over. Unless one of you is a jerk or both of you are, if you are able to exchange your ideas, criticisms, and disagreements well enough, you'll both come out of the exchange having learned something.

There's no point to try not to disagree over things. That would be a step backwards, unless you really can't control your emotions, in which case by any means, stop arguing with people.

This is hard in real life. I, for one, get along with friends I disagree with by hiding my disagreement. People generally can't stomach disagreements or conflict. It's actually easier over the internet because here relationships aren't as important. Adversarial interactions are fairly normal and people can generally handle it.

 

[warpus]

This is hard in real life. I, for one, get along with people I disagree with by hiding my disagreement. People generally can't stomach disagreements or conflict. It's actually easier over the internet because here relationships aren't as important. Adversarial interactions are fairly normal and people can generally handle it.

I find that this only applies to people you aren't close to. Friends, family, loved ones.. If we can't share disagreements and discuss them like reasonable people, then perhaps we're not that close to begin with.

I disagree with people all the time, and sometimes it leads to friction, but there are just some people in my life that I'd prefer to be honest with, rather than pretend that I agree with things I don't.

As for colleagues and not so close friends, I often avoid conflict or disagreements, just to keep the boat from rocking. Diplomacy, etc. At the Christmas table with a lot of family members, same thing.. So I suppose it depends on the situation.

 

[aelf]

Actually, it's worse with friends, I find. There are some friends I can have a debate with, but they are few. It's not an issue with people I hardly know, since it doesn't matter whether I really get along with them as long as everyone is polite about it, and I can have disagreements with my colleagues over work and not cause too much trouble.

I guess what I'm saying is you want to get along with your friends because that's kind of the point, and there's often no point jeopardizing your relationship over a debate. But most other relationships either are mediated by professional contexts or are just superficial and polite.

 

[warpus]

Most of the time disagreements don't really come up on their own. I wouldn't force any of that just to have a debate or whatever, but if it comes up organically, naturally, etc. I wouldn't want to hide my true opinions, especially if I'm among family or friends. I mean, what's the point of them being so close to you, when you end up lying to them about your opinions? Sure, if your opinions are "let's kill all babies" then keep it to yourself, but..

Then again maybe this is why I'm still not married

 

[downtown]

Buzzfeed is awful, and anyone who links to Buzzfeed should feel bad.

Buzzfeed actually employs multiple really good political reporters. The quiz tripe provides the financial backing deeper journalism...just like for almost every other digital-native news outlet.

I also agree that people should be nice to each other and that people should try to get along.

These are not mutually exclusive ideas!

I totally agree.

 

[Borachio]

I quite like accidentally getting up people's noses so they start hurling insults at me.

I may be perverse, though.

 

[GamezRule]

I like to fight, and I like to be right. But I like getting along more.

 

[Zelig]

Buzzfeed actually employs multiple really good political reporters. The quiz tripe provides the financial backing deeper journalism...just like for almost every other digital-native news outlet.

Yes, I think most digital-native news outlets are bad. Slideshows are bad, pagination for any reason other than improving readability is bad, hanging headlines are bad.

BuzzFeed is also particularly egregious at not attributing sources, which they can't do if they want to be any kind of serious journalistic source.

 

[Narz]

Everyone should be a critic. Living life in a kind of sedated, unthinking bliss ultimately makes for a sad existence.

Criticial of what affects you life, sure. Critiical of every little thing just to be a critic, waste of life.

I like being right more than I like getting along with others. Probably contributes to people not liking me, but there's so many aspects for people to not like about me that adding one more is negligible.

I suspect that's a common attitude, I also suspect it's not a good one for a long, healthy life.

This is hard in real life. I, for one, get along with friends I disagree with by hiding my disagreement. People generally can't stomach disagreements or conflict. It's actually easier over the internet because here relationships aren't as important. Adversarial interactions are fairly normal and people can generally handle it.

That's a problem with our culture. People's egos are too tied up with being right & intense fear of being wrong. I think the school system with it's emphasis on being correct as opposed to being wrong & then learning is at fault to some degree.

 

[aelf]

Criticial of what affects you life, sure. Critiical of every little thing just to be a critic, waste of life.

If you only focus on your own life, then you're just another self-centred person.

 

[Borachio]

What else is there but your own life?

Nothing you can see or refer to can be known for sure to exist beyond your form of knowledge of it.

We're at the centres of our own little bubbles of perception.

 

[Terxpahseyton]

There can always be topics where someone involved just can be too emotional about it to not have friction and trouble arise. But in principle it is my experience and believe that any disagreement and argument can be had without hostility. It just may require an immense effort from you to be sufficiently respectful.
When I try really hard to be like that - I either never had the other party become hostile or I was quickly able to overcome their hostility by insisting on an atmosphere of impenetrable mutual respect. It really works from my experience. People tend to find it irresistible. They may test it. But if one does not waver, they will "capitulate" to it.

However, that goes for engagements in person.

 

[dusters]

If i can't be honest with people i better live alone. However, i'm very grateful to people who try to understand me and people who have time to spend hours debating with me to find a common ground.

 

[Bootstoots]

I like getting along with people and being able to disagree at the same time, which requires that we both disagree well. By disagreeing well, I mean pointing out flaws in my arguments, getting at the main points and showing other ways to think about them, and responding politely without getting offended by the disagreement.

Being wrong and then realizing it is the best way to learn. I've been shown to be wrong many times, and recognizing that allows me to evolve in my thinking. It's a bit of an ego blow, but it's absolutely worth it. I wish more people could absorb that hit and then change their thinking. It's not something most people seem to be able to do, though.

 

[aelf]

What else is there but your own life?

Nothing you can see or refer to can be known for sure to exist beyond your form of knowledge of it.

We're at the centres of our own little bubbles of perception.

Solipsism is overrated by amateurs. Phenomenology is not trapped by it.