scoutsout
Minstrel Boy
Keep in mind - you're the editor... you don't have to publish everything.Mistfit said:
Idiotic newsletter
- Thread starter Daghdha
- Start date
Now that we are at war this isn't spoilerish. Do you want to add this to the paper too?
Winston Whomp speech
Winston Whomp speech
Tubby Rower
Chronic Slacker
I'd say yes... The more we can taunt them, the better.
Kickbooti
Ecclesia Militans
If we want to skip the war news in the latest version, we can have a cut down "Special Edition" that covers the conflict.
I envision large, bold type that says "POLICE ACTION" And then a story that talks about how the imposition of order is the last thing that we anarchistic idiots would ever want to do, but that the situation was so grave we had no other choice. Something like that.
My thoughts...
I envision large, bold type that says "POLICE ACTION" And then a story that talks about how the imposition of order is the last thing that we anarchistic idiots would ever want to do, but that the situation was so grave we had no other choice. Something like that.
My thoughts...
I like it Booti. The only thing I would change in my war speech is "scientific civilization" instead of "civilizations". Your call...you're the funniest of all of us so..I say...go ahead...make my lunch! 
Sir Bugsy
Civ.D.
I would skip any war news in this version. I like the idea of a Special Edition later. We don't want to give them any "Bulletin Board" material.
soul_warrior
Termite!
EXTRA EXTRA
Soul Warrior spotted back in simpleton!
Soul has according to reliable sources been in the far reaches of MIA-MIA Land.
Reports are that a while back, Soul was recruited to the Revolution SOULution by Provolution (may Meleet have his head shaven and tonsils removed. Not nessesarrilly in the same order).
These sources say that Soul, Meleet bless his Idiotic mind, has been under the influence of Mega Barbura Striesunda, and NOT Althea of infamous nefariousness.
Said Barbura has tried, and succeeded in enamouring his Soulfulness, laying his in a hormonal indused coma.
Soul, when asked to comment on this said:
Balderdash!!
Nothing of the sort happened. I was indeed under the spell of Mega Barbura herself, but that occurred only after I have suffered a waking up.
Have you ever tried running in the jungle after 3 days without any beer?
Thought not.
What really happened was that, while out in the woods, I fell into a delusional state, mumbling must kill Provo, Must KILL!!!!
After a few weeks in the forests, I have stumbled upon a camp, where many strange women resided. They wore short skirts and funny hats.
Upon seeing that marvelous sight, I immediately asked them for a pint or six.
They said they only drank wine, as they were on a weight-watchers program.
OK, I can dig that, I thought, and went right on with trying to produce as many babies I could in a single night.
3 bottles of wine later, my TRUE VISION has returned to me, and to my shame I saw that I was deep in our heartland, entertaining the master enemy himself, Provo!
It was then that I had a flash of idiocy and a plan emerged.
They would need a guide for their evil plot, and an accessory to commit the most vile crime there is COOKING a CHERRY SURPRISE cake, WITHOUT the surprise!!!!
I would indeed lead them, said the Soul-Man, but not to their desired destination, but towards an old abandoned fort, where I knew we has some of our fine
training.
If I were lucky, these capitol guys would make short work of this band of brigands, and maybe even manage to set me free.
Our journey was long and ardous, but after a couple of months, we were sighted by Scoutsout and his royal Idiocy himself.
They have confided via a secret signal
that we were soon to be attacked and that I should try and capture Provo alive.
The battle ensued, but regrettably we were not able to capture the villain, nor expose his dastardly deed, ESPECIALLY THOSE COMMITTED to the brave Idiot of the realm.
Sources with the office of military idiots has unofficially said that Soul is a great Hero. I wish we had more like him. He should be awarded the Order of the Purple Spoon for his valour and deeds in our hinterlands.
Soul Warrior spotted back in simpleton!
Soul has according to reliable sources been in the far reaches of MIA-MIA Land.
Reports are that a while back, Soul was recruited to the Revolution SOULution by Provolution (may Meleet have his head shaven and tonsils removed. Not nessesarrilly in the same order).
These sources say that Soul, Meleet bless his Idiotic mind, has been under the influence of Mega Barbura Striesunda, and NOT Althea of infamous nefariousness.
Said Barbura has tried, and succeeded in enamouring his Soulfulness, laying his in a hormonal indused coma.
Soul, when asked to comment on this said:
Balderdash!!
Nothing of the sort happened. I was indeed under the spell of Mega Barbura herself, but that occurred only after I have suffered a waking up.
Have you ever tried running in the jungle after 3 days without any beer?
Thought not.
What really happened was that, while out in the woods, I fell into a delusional state, mumbling must kill Provo, Must KILL!!!!
After a few weeks in the forests, I have stumbled upon a camp, where many strange women resided. They wore short skirts and funny hats.
Upon seeing that marvelous sight, I immediately asked them for a pint or six.
They said they only drank wine, as they were on a weight-watchers program.
OK, I can dig that, I thought, and went right on with trying to produce as many babies I could in a single night.
3 bottles of wine later, my TRUE VISION has returned to me, and to my shame I saw that I was deep in our heartland, entertaining the master enemy himself, Provo!
It was then that I had a flash of idiocy and a plan emerged.
They would need a guide for their evil plot, and an accessory to commit the most vile crime there is COOKING a CHERRY SURPRISE cake, WITHOUT the surprise!!!!
I would indeed lead them, said the Soul-Man, but not to their desired destination, but towards an old abandoned fort, where I knew we has some of our fine
training.If I were lucky, these capitol guys would make short work of this band of brigands, and maybe even manage to set me free.
Our journey was long and ardous, but after a couple of months, we were sighted by Scoutsout and his royal Idiocy himself.
They have confided via a secret signal
that we were soon to be attacked and that I should try and capture Provo alive.The battle ensued, but regrettably we were not able to capture the villain, nor expose his dastardly deed, ESPECIALLY THOSE COMMITTED to the brave Idiot of the realm.
Sources with the office of military idiots has unofficially said that Soul is a great Hero. I wish we had more like him. He should be awarded the Order of the Purple Spoon for his valour and deeds in our hinterlands.
Mistfit
Deity
Latest edition is out 
Sir Bugsy
Civ.D.
Nice job Mist-man. We might want to consider a Speicial edition about the celebrations surrounding our high holy day.
Mistfit
Deity
What was misspelled?
I honestly did not proof the others writings for speeling as I cannot speel very wells myself
I honestly did not proof the others writings for speeling as I cannot speel very wells myself
Sir Bugsy
Civ.D.
There were a few things, Bugy and Adimirial are two things in headlines that I saw. I thought it added to the charm and to the overall theme of idiocy.
scoutsout
Minstrel Boy
Congratulations team, our newsletter now has the wides circulation among all except the Gazette.
Tubby Rower
Chronic Slacker
I love the Golden Age Edition
Admiral Kutzov
Idiot Emeritus
mistspellings? were?
Admiral Kutzov
Idiot Emeritus
Quality Antiques for Sale - Intrepid explorers with quick feet and large swords wish to market artifacts from ruined city. Scimitars, pantaloons, and writings from an almost extinct civilization. Be at the market on Meleetday. These items are for the true afficionado of lost civs.
Admiral Kutzov
Idiot Emeritus
Mrs. Rower vents on Chief Prognosticator. "He sweet talked me into this. He said it would take at least a minute. He even had a graph. Well, it did and now look at the condition I'm in. Wait til I get him in the delivery room. Then I'll 'splain about who's fault this really is." Mr. Rower declined comment and was last seen purchasing puros for distribution to the clan. Upon persistent questioning, Mr. Rower admitted, "Yes, my fault, but my charts and graphs business is doing well and I can afford another youngling. And did Mrs. Rower mention my large sword? I'm rather proud of that."
One of our younger citzens, Beorn, replied, "why is there all this hype over Mrs. Rower? I'm pregnant too!" Teary eyed, he then ran off to the forest, shouting something like "I've got a large sword and a pregnancy."
Our intrepid reporter prudently fled the scene.
One of our younger citzens, Beorn, replied, "why is there all this hype over Mrs. Rower? I'm pregnant too!" Teary eyed, he then ran off to the forest, shouting something like "I've got a large sword and a pregnancy."
Our intrepid reporter prudently fled the scene.
Admiral Kutzov
Idiot Emeritus
Help Wanted - Intrepid Young Idiots are invited to the barracks for free wine and spice doughnuts on Meleetday. See erotic exotic foriegn lands with abandoned ruins and razed cities. Initial enlistment is 12 years. Free farm upon retirement and pledge to liege lord. Training will include the proper use of your quick feet and large sword. For advanced idiots, scout will conduct a special school on lighting your hair on fire and charging. Only fit idiots should apply.
Daghdha
Absent Minded
Rumour has it that the explosive ones are experiencing problems with executing their turns. Turnplayer donsig explains, "other teams have turnplayers from Europe, Australia, India and Rik knows where. On TNT, all our citizens are currently located in deep #$%@ which restricts our ability to match the overall flow of the game". Then he continued with a heartbreaking account of how the whole structure of Persia quickly were crumbeling to pieces. "Not only are we misplaced in time", he said sighing, "but also in space. Where we are, no one else is, and were they are....we wish to be. Where cities used to be, rubble appears. Heck, we don't even recognize ourselves anymore. People with no name that I meet in the streets are not what they used to be. Once cocky and self-confident now quiet and with panic in their eyes. This is no good I'll tell you, no good". donsig finished with a request, "could you maybe put an ad in your paper asking for a permanent extension, like, forever?".
grahamiam
In debt to Mr. Geisel
after we start our GA, perhaps we send them a note that we can ease them out of thier misery if they hand over all cities, techs, etc. Then they can bow out of the game, letting the real teams play 
gmaharriet
Ancient Crone
A great way to make friends, huh?grahamiam said:letting the real teams play
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