[RD] I'm transitioning. If you've ever been confused about the T in LGBT, ask me anything

[Zardnaar]

All I know about clothe sizes is that it's different than USA here. Menget S,M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL and women have numbers.

I think US size O is size 6 or 8 here.

For men I think it's one size different, I'm XL here, L in USA. I've sent rugby jerseys to USA.

That may have changed in recent years but it can make jeans and shoes annoying to buy as sometimes it's USA sizing, NZ or something else.

 

[MaryKB]

That's really weird ... I went looking at a few NZ shopping sites, and I couldn't find size categories. Only one site I found had separate sections for "Petite" and "Curves" (which is probably what we'd call Women's or Plus)

Looking at Macys.com, you can see a "Size Range" filter, which also includes Maternity which I forgot earlier! When you go into a store here, you'll see section labels for the different size ranges, so you can easily find what will fit your body.

Come to think of it, I remember being a young woman in Ontario, and I was on the ... plump side. Sometimes it'd be really hard to find things that fit me right: I often had to get something with a too-big waist that would fit over my massive hips. And tops were often ... too roomy ... for my relatively flat chest. I remember what a better experience I had when we'd go shopping at the Walden Galleria in Buffalo.

So maybe, God Bless America ... I guess??

 

[emzie]

Do you know any non binary people? Recently the topic had come up on other sites I visit on the question of whether or not they qualify to be included under the trans umbrella or not. I don't know what I think and in any case it seems like actual trans folks opinions should be weighted highly here.

They're supposed to be represented by the white band in the trans flag. A lot of trans people like to trash them to make binary trans people seem more valid. Me, I find it hard to comprehend what NB would be like, but surely many cis people feel that way about trans in general. I do know a few and other than screwing up their pronouns now and then, they have my support.

 

[emzie]

When going from man to woman, how do you handle clothes shopping? Like, women have a hard enough time buying clothes that are theoretically designed for their body. You just do a lot of business with Amazon and returning packages to figure out what fits?

My only issue tends to be finding pants that are long enough. There are plenty of online shops that cater to taller women, though. I end up getting most my clothing online or in thrift stores. Sometimes the pants wont fit quite right because I don't have the same hips as ciswomen.

 

[emzie]

Can you give any examples of views that have changed, and why?

I don't think transwoman should be allowed to compete in professional sports. I was of the opinion that if our hormone levels were the same as cis women, then we didnt have an advantage. I don't think that view can withstand scrutiny anymore.

Theres a rather infamous transwoman who, in the last few years, has set 14 world records in cycling for her age bracket. Previously, these 14 records were held by 10 different women and had been set over decades. That's a hell of an anomaly. But what really sealed the deal for me was that there's no transmen who dominate a sport like that. I'm unsure if a transmen holds any world records, let alone more than a dozen. That's strong evidence to me that first puberty matteres, and gives transwomen an advantage and leaves transmen disadvantaged.

For amature sports, I think we should be able to compete.

I have some other examples I'll get to when I'm home. Typing this on phone is tedious lol

 

[MaryKB]

I don't think transwoman should be allowed to compete in professional sports. I was of the opinion that if our hormone levels were the same as cis women, then we didnt have an advantage. I don't think that view can withstand scrutiny anymore.

Theres a rather infamous transwoman who, in the last few years, has set 14 world records in cycling for her age bracket. Previously, these 14 records were held by 10 different women and had been set over decades. That's a hell of an anomaly. But what really sealed the deal for me was that there's no transmen who dominate a sport like that. I'm unsure if a transmen holds any world records, let alone more than a dozen. That's strong evidence to me that first puberty matteres, and gives transwomen an advantage and leaves transmen disadvantaged.

For amature sports, I think we should be able to compete.

I have some other examples I'll get to when I'm home. Typing this on phone is tedious lol

Hmm, if you're interested I'd be really curious to discuss your thoughts further? When you think about it, how many Serena Williamses or Michael Phelpses are there amongst cisgender athletes? I think it'd be different if like transwomen were continually dominating everything all the time?

 

[adcarrymaokai]

Michael Phelps should not have been allowed to compete because his body looks like it was genetically engineered by the US government to dominate in the Olympics. Here is what Wikipedia says about his unusual body:

Several physical attributes particularly suit Phelps to swimming: his long, thin torso offers low drag; his arms span 6 feet 7 inches (201 cm)—disproportionate to his height of 6 feet 4 inches (193 cm)—and act as long, propulsive paddles; his relatively short legs lower drag, and perhaps add the speed enhancement of a hydrofoil; his size-14 feet provide the effect of flippers; and his hypermobile ankles can extend beyond the pointe of a ballet dancer, enabling him to whip his feet as if they were fins for maximum thrust through the water.

He has 23 gold medals and 28 medals total, while the next two most decorated Olympians in history (both cis-women btw), have 9 and 8 gold medals and 18 and 15 medals total. As you can see, Phelps is a bigger anomaly than any trans athlete in history, and frankly, it is just unfair to allow him to compete against people with more regular anatomy.

/s

 

[Lexicus]

Theres a rather infamous transwoman who, in the last few years, has set 14 world records in cycling for her age bracket. Previously, these 14 records were held by 10 different women and had been set over decades. That's a hell of an anomaly. But what really sealed the deal for me was that there's no transmen who dominate a sport like that. I'm unsure if a transmen holds any world records, let alone more than a dozen. That's strong evidence to me that first puberty matteres, and gives transwomen an advantage and leaves transmen disadvantaged.

I think that what this demonstrates, is that this transwoman is an exceptional individual. If there is evidence that transwomen as a whole are dominating womens' sports, I would like to see it.

 

[Zardnaar]

That's really weird ... I went looking at a few NZ shopping sites, and I couldn't find size categories. Only one site I found had separate sections for "Petite" and "Curves" (which is probably what we'd call Women's or Plus)

Looking at Macys.com, you can see a "Size Range" filter, which also includes Maternity which I forgot earlier! When you go into a store here, you'll see section labels for the different size ranges, so you can easily find what will fit your body.

Come to think of it, I remember being a young woman in Ontario, and I was on the ... plump side. Sometimes it'd be really hard to find things that fit me right: I often had to get something with a too-big waist that would fit over my massive hips. And tops were often ... too roomy ... for my relatively flat chest. I remember what a better experience I had when we'd go shopping at the Walden Galleria in Buffalo.

So maybe, God Bless America ... I guess??

No idea I have never bought clothes for my wife. I'm crap at buying for myself I lean heavily towards this will do.
I went bra shopping with my female friends in the 90s. That was awkward.

 

[Zardnaar]

Emzie how does your drugs interact with booze? If you knock back a couple of bottles of wine or a dozen beer is that ok, bad idea etc (apart from the usual effects hangover etc).

 

[emzie]

I think that what this demonstrates, is that this transwoman is an exceptional individual. If there is evidence that transwomen as a whole are dominating womens' sports, I would like to see it.

She doesn't take blockers to bring her T levels down to cis-normal. If she were cis, her testosterone levels would disqualify her for doping.

Emzie how does your drugs interact with booze? If you knock back a couple of bottles of wine or a dozen beer is that ok, bad idea etc (apart from the usual effects hangover etc).

Well, the medication I take to suppress testosterone can harm the liver. I have blood testing done every 4 months or so and my liver's fine, so knocking back a couple bottles of wine every weekend or so doesn't seem to be an issue.

I did drop 20% of my body weight, and I do notice that. Drinking a 5th of vodka is a bit out of my reach now, but half a litre is doable.

I have some other examples I'll get to when I'm home. Typing this on phone is tedious lol

I vehemently disagree with self-ID laws. If you want to change your gender marker, I think you should have to have a letter from a doctor or a psychologist. Exemption: if you wanna change your marker to X, or any other non-binary marker, I don't object to that.

 

[MaryKB]

I don't know, that feels cruel: my friend is so happy she was able to get that F on her driver's license.

I didn't know she wasn't taking anything to block testosterone, and I do totally agree that's a problem.

 

[luiz]

She doesn't take blockers to bring her T levels down to cis-normal. If she were cis, her testosterone levels would disqualify her for doping.



Well, the medication I take to suppress testosterone can harm the liver. I have blood testing done every 4 months or so and my liver's fine, so knocking back a couple bottles of wine every weekend or so doesn't seem to be an issue.

I did drop 20% of my body weight, and I do notice that. Drinking a 5th of vodka is a bit out of my reach now, but half a litre is doable.



I vehemently disagree with self-ID laws. If you want to change your gender marker, I think you should have to have a letter from a doctor or a psychologist. Exemption: if you wanna change your marker to X, or any other non-binary marker, I don't object to that.

I can see one thing didn't change with your transition: you were a very reasonable person, and remain exactly that way (as expected, of course)

 

[xwyhzol]

Was your desire to change your sex something heavy on your mind(rather than a sane choice; something light)?

This is not insulting any insanity about you, to me insanity is beautiful.

 

[JohannaK]

... what?

Of course it's never a decision taken lightly. What does that have to do with sanity?

 

[Cloud_Strife]

Was your desire to change your sex something heavy on your mind(rather than a sane choice; something light)?

This is not insulting any insanity about you, to me insanity is beautiful.

It only seems insane because you personally haven't experienced gender dysphoria; being uncomfortable in your own body and skin, feeling like a monster or a robot, feeling detached from your own self without your gender/identity being there to properly ground you.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

It's very confusing and distressing, what's worse is that it doesn't necessarily make itself obvious as to what the problem is, sometimes dysphoria can be mild enough to linger in the background, surfacing due to various factors such as stress or mental health problems.

 

[xwyhzol]

Hm? I told you I didn't mean insane in a bad way.

Thanks for addressing...

I go insane all the time - insanity is a part of life. I imagine gender dysphoria is a type of insanity; as you described uncomfortable in one's own body, leads to insanity. I'm not saying you're insane for transition, I'm saying 'did your original gender make you insane?'

 

[emzie]

Was your desire to change your sex something heavy on your mind(rather than a sane choice; something light)?

This is not insulting any insanity about you, to me insanity is beautiful.

After examining all other possible reasons I felt the way I did, I was left with the realization that I had to at least test this one. It was heavy on my mind in the sense that it's not the answer I would have liked to have ended up with, but it was the answer, and I'm better for following my instincts.

 

[Lemon Merchant]

Thank you for making this thread emzie. It's helping me a lot at work. I have a couple of trans patients and it's nice to get insight other than theirs.

 

[BCheek]

After examining all other possible reasons I felt the way I did, I was left with the realization that I had to at least test this one.

So there's still some uncertainty?

How did you come to terms with the fact that you'll be chemically sterlizing yourself as you transition and will require significant medical attention awterwards for the rest of your life?