Cloud_Strife
Deity
Hrt can help with facial hair - if you're lucky that is, it's by no means universal or guranteed
[RD] I'm transitioning. If you've ever been confused about the T in LGBT, ask me anything
- Thread starter emzie
- Start date
Cloud_Strife
Deity
It is also used by trans people to transition
Cloud_Strife
Deity
Hrt can be dangerous but it can also save lives, anything to reduce the dysphoria
It's a bigger issue than you might think. The place that did my face didn't do many beards, but they did plenty of unwanted facial hair in ciswomen. There's quite a few hormonal disorders that will cause elevated T levels in cis women (PCOS), and even if they're brought under control. the testosterone-induced changes stay.
Sometimes I write personal things on facebook to try and give friends and family better insight into my experiences. I wrote something today:
20/Dec
I had a doctor appointment today to write my final letter of support for bottom surgery. I have many feels about it, but know a post about trans stuff might be TMI to some, so like, don't read this if the details of being trans sound like they'd be icky.
I actually got my final letter more than a year ago. After the psychiatrist wrote it, he got increasingly inappropriate culminating with him stating I was, "in love with a man, and that man, is me." Yeah, that letter was withdrawn as soon as I reported his behaviour. Had I stayed with that doctor, I would be recovering from bottom surgery right now. It was not a hard decision. But living with it, and in limbo this past year, has been exceptionally hard. I'll live one year fewer of my life in a body reprieved of this:
For the letter today, I explained things and my doctor translated my euphemistic speech into into blunt medicalspeak. "It's really difficult for me to take showers." got transcribed to, "Patient is distressed by nudity and interacting with her genitals."
Put so bluntly, gosh, it sounded like it'd be a really difficult thing to live with. If I strip away the euphemisms though, what I really meant was: every time I pee, take a shower, or get dressed, I'm grieving. It's the same level as being reminded a parent died. It really is a difficult thing to live with. I've been given back the agency to choose for that to not be a forever feeling. It's a relief, though I worry someone else will take it away again: politicians will defund it, or a pre-surgery test result will indicate it too risky. Living while trans, y'all.
But living
My mom responded to my FB post:
my mom is my best friend and I'm so damn fortunate to have her in my life. wanted to share.
This made my day Emily, thanks for sharing.
In the last couple years I've ended up running a Discord server with a few dozen MtF girls, that has an unrelated (BDSM-ish) common interest. It's helped me figure myself out, while also helping them as a sort of online friendship ring, where everyone can present - without lying or hiding - as female no matter how they might be in transitioning.
This made my day Emily, thanks for sharing.
In the last couple years I've ended up running a Discord server with a few dozen MtF girls, that has an unrelated (BDSM-ish) common interest. It's helped me figure myself out, while also helping them as a sort of online friendship ring, where everyone can present - without lying or hiding - as female no matter how they might be in transitioning.
Not directly related, but theres correlation
Maybe I'm missing something; why have gender markers on IDs at all?
It's (usually) a helpful visual aid, alongside height, weight, eye/hair color and "ethnicity" (or skin color or whatever). Really all of them can be changed, for varying lengths of time.
You're not missing anything. It don't think it's ever mattered except when I wanted my car insurance policy recalculated as female instead of male
gay_Aleks
from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!
Well, the J.K Rowling thread on transphobia has been consigned to a "pause", which may or may not be indefinite. Considering how certain people appear to have made certain...misjudgements, let's say, I have felt the need to reboot this fine thread, by announcing that I am an NB woman, and I go by they/them. That's all. Ask away.
yung.carl.jung
Hey Bird! I'm Morose & Lugubrious
what's your favorite kind of bread? more importantly, what do you put on top?
favorite marxist theoretician?
how do you feel about makeup and shaving pits?
which strain of feminism, if any, appeals to you the most? what about Butler, how is she received?
does you being NB affect your libido or sexual attraction and in what sense?
what are some of the medical implications, if there are any? (note: I am not assuming NB means intersex, but I think a lot of intersex people understand themselves as NB, is that correct?
how's your family's reception been? how about your friends?
is androgeneity (no idea how to spell that ****) a central tenet of your personality, or is it moreso an aesthetic? I have a friend who is trans and enjoys dressing androginously, and is sometimes ridiculed for that: "if you want to be a man, why aren't you acting/dressing like one?"
when did your NB identity manifest and when did you realize it as such? I assume some people are actually NB from birth, but due to societal conventions only come to that insight much later.
favorite marxist theoretician?
how do you feel about makeup and shaving pits?
which strain of feminism, if any, appeals to you the most? what about Butler, how is she received?
does you being NB affect your libido or sexual attraction and in what sense?
what are some of the medical implications, if there are any? (note: I am not assuming NB means intersex, but I think a lot of intersex people understand themselves as NB, is that correct?
how's your family's reception been? how about your friends?
is androgeneity (no idea how to spell that ****) a central tenet of your personality, or is it moreso an aesthetic? I have a friend who is trans and enjoys dressing androginously, and is sometimes ridiculed for that: "if you want to be a man, why aren't you acting/dressing like one?"
when did your NB identity manifest and when did you realize it as such? I assume some people are actually NB from birth, but due to societal conventions only come to that insight much later.
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
it is androgyny, I think?
gay_Aleks
from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!
White bread, but I also like rye or black bread, as well. I usually put either spices or margarine on it.
Damn, this is going to be the most difficult one to answer, so I will have to divide it in spheres, because not all Marxists are equally fluent in every aspect.
Economic/sociological: Marx and Engels. Obviously. One cannot overstate the influence of historical/dialectical materialism on my view of the world, and I'm, of course, hardly the only person.
"Political": Lenin, undoubtedly. His theories on the nature of the state (really expounded from Marx and Engels), and on the way of organizing against capitalism are indispensable to any revolutionary. It is too often that people fall into a slough with just Marx/Engels, either into overt orthodoxy, or into academia, making him worthless. Lenin rescues the truly revolutionary aspects of Marx, and forwards them in the changed conditions that he lived in. Mao Zedong, conversely, does the same, giving further clarity to Lenin's analysis and organizational schemes, making them more understandable, and more applicable everywhere. I think his works, On Practice and On Contradiction are very interesting epistemological works that many would benefit from reading.
Cultural/educational: The bugbear of many right-wing conservatives, Antonio Gramsci, who supposedly gave all of the New Left all their ideas of hegemony and represents something of a "bridge". Anyway, while this isn't completely wrong, it's also beyond the point. For a man who was imprisoned, kept in the most appaling conditions, was crippled by poverty and disability, he succeded in producing very intriguing works on culture and hegemony, that are very important, especially as Marxism can sometimes be...lacking in this regard.
Makeup? My God, yes, I do want to try it on! And I would prefer not just to shave my "pits", but really, get rid of any body hair on my body. That'd be neat I think.
As I've explained within the thread about the feminist test, I mostly align along the Marxist feminist axis, if you will - Kollontai and Federici, in particular. One cannot look at the position of women without analyzing capitalism, as patriarchy is irretrievably connected with capitalism. Women were one of the first "casualties" of capitalism, in this regard. Butler...I haven't interacted all too much with Butler. Her idea of "performativity" is fine - it did help me to snap out of my initial masculine identity - but I feel like she may gender as something that is really an idea, existing on the superstructure, if you will, when historically, gender has been more of a relation of production - women have been exploited in every aspect - from the beginning of the industrial revolution (though, that's not when it began, but for the purposes of being short) and factory work, down to this very day. But, I may be misrepresenting Butler somewhat, so that's all I'll say.
I'm not sure I can really say that it is really the fact that I am NB - I think that, despite identifying for the last two years about it, I have much to know - but I generally trend to go through waves of desire/"horniness", followed by waves of disgust in anything sexual. It is likely due to the way that society deals with sexuality, it is something...consumptive, you know. As for attraction, I like people who don't seem to stick to the gender stereotypes, but not...well, how should I say it, without really purposefully aiming to? It's just something naturally coming from them, so I like feminine men and tomboy girls. I will admit, however, that yours truly likes the pee pee overwhelmingly so, and the whole penetration deal sounds rather swell, if I may be oh-so-scandalous on this fine forum.
The medical implications are (PS: I'm AMAB) mostly that I'll undergo HRT, and my dick will shrink, which is somewhat unfortunate, I will admit. Asides from that, I can't really think of anything else - I suppose I'll also undergo laser hair removal one fine day.
I am more closeted than an IKEA furniture collection, so they don't know.
I must admit that a strange tension within my identity is that, while I profess to be NB, I am very interested in what one may call "traditionally" feminine aesthetics - skirts, tits, the whole deal. On the other hand, I can't say that I want to wear only feminine clothing, either. If I could, I wish that we could just drop the gendering of clothes. What if I just want to look pretty, goddamnit? [Then again...what's pretty? What if it's just femininity?]. So I would say...yes and no to that question.
If I must admit, I am firmly in the view of constructivism wrt gender. I don't think you can really be NB "from your birth", because there's just too much pressure, and you aren't given enough space to think about your gender. Until you hit early puberty, I don't think you can really...choose your gender...? Here's two very important caveats! This shouldn't imply that I don't support trans kids - I love them all, they're precious and they need to be protected. Secondly, what I'm really trying to say here is that there isn't some essence of NB-ness or femininity or masculinity or whatever. I think that the common egg narrative serves to assure trans people and their parents that they've always been like this, at the end of the day. But I'm not fully convinced of it.
As for when it manifested, well, I would say it was in late 2017, when I slowly realized that gender is a Thing, and the way that we promote/create these identities, far from being God-given, are really crafted by us, and are mutable...it was a world-shaking idea, and it made me feel as if I'm really just performing being a cisman, not actually...into it? It all felt very fake, so in early 2020, I realized I was NB, but I bounced for a while between being a trans woman, and an NB woman, eventually realizing that while I want to dress up as a woman, I don't really want to become a woman, at the risk of sounding somewhat selfish, because I don't want all of the things that come with that. Will it matter when I'm perceived to be a woman by cis people? Who knows?
yung.carl.jung
Hey Bird! I'm Morose & Lugubrious
Wow @Tolina thank you so much for that reply, I thoroughly enjoyed reading that, but especially thank you for your openness. And yes, I think your post was wholly appropriate for a family-friendly forum in every way. I personally hadn't even heard of Kollontai til now so I will have to do some reading.
Any opinions on "neo"-marxist theoreticians like Zizek, Fisher and Jameson?
Any opinions on "neo"-marxist theoreticians like Zizek, Fisher and Jameson?
gay_Aleks
from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!
I wish someone would tell Zizek to shut the hell up and never give any further thoughts on anything, anywhere. And then, maybe, that he would follow that thought. He only talks goddamn nonsense, and then gets praised for it. He is, ultimately, the media's own "Marxist" clown that says something silly or "provocative". Fisher is...interesting. A step above Zizek, and Capitalist Realism has been an introductory read in my radicalization, however, now I feel that he is...Limited, in some regards. His focus goes too far into the cultural dimension of the problem, rather than the material. Therefore, it is narrow in this regard. This is further narrowed by the fact that he is, ultimately, an academician in the Global North, in the U.K, to boot. Therefore, he is dismissive of Global South struggles, and especially so of actually existing socialist states, like the USSR, Cuba, Vietnam and China. [Without trying to start s-it here.] I must admit, I also feel that a lot of his writing is coloured by his depression, unsurprisingly. Jameson is the least-worst of the bunch, as in my opinion, Zizek and Fisher are more "Marxian", and are influenced somewhat unduly by postmodernism. He is, however, as academic as academic Marxism gets, it's very...massive read, very literary. And that's the issue with those three authors, but really, academic Marxism - it is too...obscurantist, in general. Too far from the masses. Millions have lived, died and struggled for the ideas of Marx, Lenin and Mao. Will we see the same with the above triad? Forgive me, if I am skeptical about this.
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